Todays ODAT reading discusses living with an alcoholic and the subsequent distortion in our thinking,
in particular how it can lead to blaming all our problems on the bottle." It is that distortion/blame
that blurs the "truth that we must look within ourselves in order to take responsibility for our words
and actions and accept responsibility how we play a part in the chaos.
Todays Reminder:
There is no advantage, no profit, no growth, in deceiving myself merely to escape the consequences of
my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I will be making progress.
We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us. But we make
ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it. ~ (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island)
Did some research on this quote, to better understand it and how it applies to our path to internal truth
and came upon Wisdom From World Religions: Pathways Toward Heaven On Earth by John Marks Templeton.
He writes about Thomas Merton's quote in todays ODAT reading:
A powerful suggestion for embracing the truth that sets us free" could be to make an inner commitment to
establish a new relationship with truth. We can decide to perceive situations and people more clearly and more
honestly, simply relating the conditions that occur in every situation no more no less. Through this exercise,
we may find we are consulting a deeper part of our consciousness, one that flourishes in truth, instead of giving
in to false ego demands. By identifying behaviors and rationales, that may be hindrances to our greater good.
Truth has been explained as the whole of our existence. Truth makes us free in that when we are truthful and
honest with others and ourselves we are able to leave the room of constraints of daily awareness. Outside the
room of constraints life offers unlimited possibilities and we are freed from anger, hatred and bitterness.
I can see that Al-Anon is helping me to examine my role in the chaos, working the 12 Steps and how my ego plays
a large part in it and to find my true self when I am willing to lose the ego, because in the process of working those
12 Steps over and over, I was able to establish my truth and see what/why my inappropriate actions/reactions were
causing/adding to the distortions in my relationship with AH. Now that I could understand the disease and how it
affects both me and my AH and that I needed to mind my own business, accept the 3Cs and detach with love, I was
free to work on me to find my truths without anger and resentment interfering in my daily perception and my HP is
always guiding me as well. Ahhh the peace is wonderful!!
Grateful member {{HUGS}}
Lyne said
Mar 18, 2021
Thanks Debb for your service and for this interesting share. Two things came to my mind. First, I kept thinking about denial and how that plays a part in not knowing the truth. BR I was unable to see what was happening to me. I couldn't see my own problems as a result of living with an alcoholic. It took time in program so I could take the focus off the A and see myself.
The second piece that came to me is: Let it Begin with Me. If I don't get healthy, nothing else around me is going to work very well. Letting it begin with me, means I have to drop my guard, see my truth, and be willing to work on it. Love this program!
Iamhere said
Mar 18, 2021
Good morning MIP. Thank you Debb for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your shares and ESH. My denial was huge, so much so, that I denied I was in denial. I truly felt and thought that my pain, problems, etc. were all caused by this disease in those I love and if only they could/would get clean/sober, all would be right with my world.
When I look at this in black & white now, it shows to me exactly how insane my thinking was/had become. As I progressed in my own illness, it was so easy and almost natural for me to toss blame/shame at the disease and the diseased. The reality is that this disease changed my loved ones in many, many ways - most, if not all, not in good ways. All the while that the disease progressed in them, it also embraced and deeply affected me - in ways I will still learn as I continue my journey.
How refreshing to arrive at recovery, and first hear from others their ESH. I truly no longer felt alone in all that I lived with. It took me a long, long time to find the courage to be honest with myself about my role in much of the insanity. I had the best of intentions and felt I was helpful when in fact, I was not, in spite of my intentions.
My willingness to be honest and revisit many factors of my own reasoning has been 'golden'. I love that my truth can be different than another's truth and neither of us are right/wrong - just different. It is not my job on this earth to change anyone else - thoughts, values, behaviors, other - it's my job to find my own joy and serenity in any selfless manner possible.
I'm grateful that I no longer need to explore why things are, I can focus instead on accepting them and choosing joy. I am glad I no longer throw blame/shame for my emotions/words/other at the disease or the diseased. It's not been easy to sit in my truth and 'see' how insane some of my coping mechanisms were/are. I seriously do believe that the truth is what sets us free.
Happy Thursday all - choose joy, just for today and keep it no matter what! My 'cute' St. Patrick's Day Tee that I wore yesterday has glitter all over it - and now so does my carpet. I woke this morning and saw glitter stuck to my forehead and just laughed...(((Hugs))) - laugh a little too!!!
Daffodils said
Mar 18, 2021
Thank you Debb for Truth and shares by Lyne and IAH. I am guilty of blaming many of my current issues on AH. Truth is, I made choices that placed me squarely in this position and my ego/denial blocked me from obvious solutions. I was always resilient and able to overcome challenging situations. Being an only child, losing Mom at age 6 (brain tumor), losing Dad at age 27 (heart/kidney failure), divorce at age 32 (husband a womanizer), I managed to build a decent life as a single for 15 years until I met AH. He was sober and in AA when we met. Once we married, he stopped AA but remained dry. I watched myself slowly become hopeless and helpless over time. I hung in there because we committed to give 100 per cent to each other. Little did I know the disease had other ideas. I now see that I, who had been so resilient in the past needed help. By focusing on my sickness (trust me, I am a bundle), I can see that I need to accept growth/change as a way of life. I am grateful to have found AlAnon. Life at home is better. I notice subtle changes in AH. We are kinder to each other. I believe he's a "keeper " but I'll let my Higher Power have the final say. Thanks for being a part of my journey ((smiles))
JerryF said
Mar 18, 2021
Gracious I need(ed) all of the time and fellowship and humility it takes/took to get me here and keep me here listening continually with an open mind and the willingness to change the things I can/could while self insisting that I do have a power greater than myself who is constantly present and just as willing to serve and be served so positive and necessary change can be mine. I need to remember that the truest condition that I became aware of when I was brought to acceptance and surrender was that, "I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know" that which took my mind, body, spirit and emotions and left me trying to get it right.
I had to be convinced by others who had the same condition as I so that I would calm down and submit to the probability that it was true. Finding out that my situation was changeable if I only became a humble student and practiced daily was the blessing my Higher Power was presenting to me.
Here I am continuing to understand this truth and expressing deep gratitude to this family for loving me more deeply then I had ever loved myself. ((((hugs))))
Todays ODAT reading discusses living with an alcoholic and the subsequent distortion in our thinking,
in particular how it can lead to blaming all our problems on the bottle." It is that distortion/blame
that blurs the "truth that we must look within ourselves in order to take responsibility for our words
and actions and accept responsibility how we play a part in the chaos.
Todays Reminder:
There is no advantage, no profit, no growth, in deceiving myself merely to escape the consequences of
my own mistakes. When I realize this, I know I will be making progress.
We must be true inside, true to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside us. But we make
ourselves true inside by manifesting the truth as we see it. ~ (Thomas Merton: No Man Is an Island)
Did some research on this quote, to better understand it and how it applies to our path to internal truth
and came upon Wisdom From World Religions: Pathways Toward Heaven On Earth by John Marks Templeton.
He writes about Thomas Merton's quote in todays ODAT reading:
A powerful suggestion for embracing the truth that sets us free" could be to make an inner commitment to
establish a new relationship with truth. We can decide to perceive situations and people more clearly and more
honestly, simply relating the conditions that occur in every situation no more no less. Through this exercise,
we may find we are consulting a deeper part of our consciousness, one that flourishes in truth, instead of giving
in to false ego demands. By identifying behaviors and rationales, that may be hindrances to our greater good.
Truth has been explained as the whole of our existence. Truth makes us free in that when we are truthful and
honest with others and ourselves we are able to leave the room of constraints of daily awareness. Outside the
room of constraints life offers unlimited possibilities and we are freed from anger, hatred and bitterness.
I can see that Al-Anon is helping me to examine my role in the chaos, working the 12 Steps and how my ego plays
a large part in it and to find my true self when I am willing to lose the ego, because in the process of working those
12 Steps over and over, I was able to establish my truth and see what/why my inappropriate actions/reactions were
causing/adding to the distortions in my relationship with AH. Now that I could understand the disease and how it
affects both me and my AH and that I needed to mind my own business, accept the 3Cs and detach with love, I was
free to work on me to find my truths without anger and resentment interfering in my daily perception and my HP is
always guiding me as well. Ahhh the peace is wonderful!!
Grateful member {{HUGS}}
The second piece that came to me is: Let it Begin with Me. If I don't get healthy, nothing else around me is going to work very well. Letting it begin with me, means I have to drop my guard, see my truth, and be willing to work on it. Love this program!
When I look at this in black & white now, it shows to me exactly how insane my thinking was/had become. As I progressed in my own illness, it was so easy and almost natural for me to toss blame/shame at the disease and the diseased. The reality is that this disease changed my loved ones in many, many ways - most, if not all, not in good ways. All the while that the disease progressed in them, it also embraced and deeply affected me - in ways I will still learn as I continue my journey.
How refreshing to arrive at recovery, and first hear from others their ESH. I truly no longer felt alone in all that I lived with. It took me a long, long time to find the courage to be honest with myself about my role in much of the insanity. I had the best of intentions and felt I was helpful when in fact, I was not, in spite of my intentions.
My willingness to be honest and revisit many factors of my own reasoning has been 'golden'. I love that my truth can be different than another's truth and neither of us are right/wrong - just different. It is not my job on this earth to change anyone else - thoughts, values, behaviors, other - it's my job to find my own joy and serenity in any selfless manner possible.
I'm grateful that I no longer need to explore why things are, I can focus instead on accepting them and choosing joy. I am glad I no longer throw blame/shame for my emotions/words/other at the disease or the diseased. It's not been easy to sit in my truth and 'see' how insane some of my coping mechanisms were/are. I seriously do believe that the truth is what sets us free.
Happy Thursday all - choose joy, just for today and keep it no matter what! My 'cute' St. Patrick's Day Tee that I wore yesterday has glitter all over it - and now so does my carpet. I woke this morning and saw glitter stuck to my forehead and just laughed...(((Hugs))) - laugh a little too!!!
Gracious I need(ed) all of the time and fellowship and humility it takes/took to get me here and keep me here listening continually with an open mind and the willingness to change the things I can/could while self insisting that I do have a power greater than myself who is constantly present and just as willing to serve and be served so positive and necessary change can be mine. I need to remember that the truest condition that I became aware of when I was brought to acceptance and surrender was that, "I didn't know and didn't know that I didn't know" that which took my mind, body, spirit and emotions and left me trying to get it right.
I had to be convinced by others who had the same condition as I so that I would calm down and submit to the probability that it was true. Finding out that my situation was changeable if I only became a humble student and practiced daily was the blessing my Higher Power was presenting to me.
Here I am continuing to understand this truth and expressing deep gratitude to this family for loving me more deeply then I had ever loved myself. ((((hugs))))
