Freetime, thank you so much for todays reading, your service and ESH.

I always felt, because I've worked the Steps twice, that when I arrived at each defect

that I was able to see the benefit of those lessons learned by discovering a better

part of me!! It does uncover a new found respect and confidence for oneself, but

you really have to be honest about the process. Just love this program.

Thanks for your service FT, and for both great shares. I kind of see the character defects that still need removal, as a ball and chain wrapped around my ankle. They developed from my FOO, and became cemented in place by all my interactions with alcoholics/addicts (which I allowed). I ask God to take them daily, and am willing to turn my will and my life over to the care of the God of my understanding. Early in program I felt quite shy and embarrassed about my defects, but now, I want HP to just take it all away. I'm trying to do my part, but it's a slow go. Onward and upward, ODAT.

Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily.

I like that your sponsor has renamed "character defects" as "coping mechanisms." Because for me, that is what they were. Most of my coping mechanisms originated from great qualities I have, just on steroids! LOL! I used to feel shame... now I understand that they were indeed good qualities at one time, and how they morphed into monsters. Best of all, I now have a program that can help me change them back into my personal assets!

Happy Friday All!

&

Good Day Everyone. I am new to the Al Anon world and have not worked the steps. I looked up list of character defects for Al Anon and fear and lying hit home. Today I had to cancel a phone date with a friend who has been steadfast in her support. I FEARED she might get angry (I often shelve our plans to appease AH). I considered LYING and claiming a "medical emergency" had come up. After obsessing for hours, I prayed for her to cancel on me. The thought came to mind to just tell her the truth. I was choosing to help AH on a matter that impacts us both . She wished me well and looks forward to us seeing each other next week! The lockdown here is being modified slightly. I can see how my defects have had me in lockdown long before Covid! I don't know if this is in line with step work but I am not in fear of losing your support. ((smile)) Have a great day. Eileen

Daffodils, great step work indeed!!

You can, if you want to, work Step 1-12 right here on this board.

stepwork.activeboard.com/

Audrey is wonderful to work with and will help if you need it.

Happy Friday MIP. Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares and ESH. I'm glad we only have to be willing and ready to change for progress in recovery. I spent a lifetime with a series of habits that served me well until they did not. What I find is that the less I obsess about perfection and focus on progress instead, the easier it is to practice healthy responses & choices.

I've always believed that our defects are nothing more than assets we were gifted with at birth that have become distorted or exploited through living this thing called life. Every event and experience shapes us and no matter who we are, we've got good/bad baggage. Healthy folks are better able to shake things off, live and let live and not dwell or obsess over what can't be changed. This is how I try to approach life now - we have a saying in the other side of the program - Wear the World Like a Loose Garment...

I found this a long time ago, and it speaks to me,

"Turn something that may be stressful and threatening to your recovery into something humorous.

Relax. So what if you got a bad haircut. You dont have to be disappointed or go through the seven stages of grief. Nothing is going to put that hair back on your head but time.

Wear the world like a loose garment is a very relaxing motto. It means that you should try to be comfortable when life throws its little nuisances at you. Dont allow the world to close in on you and choke you. Make a conscious effort to accept life and not resist life because if you resist, problems persist.

Don't be jealous because everybody, regardless of wealth and health, has daily problems. Dont turn problems into drama. Don't turn someone else's character defect into a resentment. Dont turn comedy into tragedy."

Each of these is 'me' at times, esp. before recovery. I could freak out and hide for a month over a bad haircut. I had no issue getting and harboring resentments over another's character defects and truly was jealous of 'most' others because I felt I was alone in all the problems of my life. Relax was a foreign word/concept to me.

I don't get all wrapped up in how I used to be and how I reacted for years to this disease and the diseased. I instead ask my HP each day to lead me though this day and all it brings. Most of my amends had to do with my unwillingness to accept reality and a desire to fix and control other people, places and things. When I just pause long enough to pray before I proceed, I am so much better at deciding how to proceed, and more often than not, I can respond much, much healthier than before.

Love and light family - I was supposed to golf but we cancelled. We had 2 lovely sunshine-filled days in the 70's, so not 50's with clouds feels like winter again! I am OK to spend the day relaxing at home, food prepping and doing a few tidbits towards my spring cleaning. Find and keep your joy all!

Thank you Debb for the suggestion. Our region will allow gatherings of up to 10 people effective March 8th. I plan to attend in person meetings starting next week and find a sponsor to work with. ((HUGS))

I'm oh so ready to have my shortcomings removed so I can become who I am. They hold me back and hold me down.

I am excited to see what life has in store for me once I get out of my own way. That sounds cliché, I know,but for real, working on myself can only open doors that I've never even peeked behind before