I am reading the Feb 8 reading from Hope for Today.

   It is a timely reminder for me, because it says that we could consider

   putting ourselves on the list of those we had harmed.

   Tonight I am going to a neighbouring meeting. The mainstay

   of the group can't come- because she is ill. Do I go and take

   the chance that there will be some else there? Or can I languish

   here at home?

   I shall go. My mantra I learned long ago- when I was told- it is

   a selfish programme. "Well it is not for me," I thought to myself.

   I vowed there and then- that I did not want to be self-centred,

   but centred on self.

   And I think that that Step 8 reading sums it up for me. The

   meeting is advertised- and I should take the time to be there,

   if I am able  since I have been made a member. 

   It's late afternoon now. So maybe I could report back, in

  the morning, and reflect on the consequences of this decision.

  Fact is- that if there is no-one else there I plan to harbour

  no resentment.   ...

Hi David, I use to be where you are, when I  would open up the Meeting Place, and no one would turn up. That meeting room was my haven, and I learnt early in recovery that someone was always there for me, so I had to be there for them.

I would read some literature or just sit and feel the peace of the Meeting Room, wait for awhile and then go. But felt good that I did, as I would ask myself, how would I feel if I knew that a Newcomer had come and the doors would be shut.

At the moment, I am doing a Step 8, your timing is excellent.

Love Wendy P.

 Our younger member turned up at the meeting...

...so it made may trip up the gorge worthwhile.

Covid lock-down hasn't been too bad over here.

But businesses are suffering really bad in the tourist industry.

The younger member is into theatre sports and asked me to join.

Gender issues can be a bit sensitive, but generational issues- quite the opposite.

The issue for me is my SO and all the extra travelling required. She balked at the travel going to Alanon.

I might still be self-sabotaging a fair bit. Not sure... because it is below the radar at the moment...

having a group here- where I can share several times a week is a great asset...  ...

...I have a whole lot more to say...but there is always tomorrow- and the next day.

Up at sparrow's fart this morning. Loading up the truck with one grandkid and two dogs and going to a rowing regatta.

I don't know what normal is, stlll; but ah is learning...

...cheers... 

   I am slipping more and more into the F2F realm- at the moment...

      There were once four flourishing groups up here in the mountains-  now only two.

      The pandemic is not helping at all. I was always a care-taker rather than a care-giver.

      More like a pansy pancake- trying to keep fixing up the unfixable- and this is why we come here

      In the first place... I leaned heavily on this group for 12 or 18 months- and got the support I

      desperately needed. It held my weight- and a whole lot more. Attending the chat meetings was

not an option where for me- because of the whacky time zones. So this message board has been my

home group for some time. Class of 2012, from memory...

...I have always left newcomers to tend to newcomers... because the experience is raw. And for that reason

the experience is more accessible. Not entirely so. If I am around and about and sharing I do step one sharing.

It is about trust- and learning to trust others.

My therapist got into a lot of trouble last month- over a conman in her life. It was all over the newspapers here.

She is good at what she does- not not adept at everything.

That is pretty usual for most folks I suppose.

My life is go well. Weller that expected really.

I had to fake it at expressing gratitude, initially.

But now it does burst forth in spades!                    Thanks.  ...

Step 8 is so interesting for me.  Since Complex ptsd is so rooted in the problem with self regulation 

That is one of the core issues I had with the qualifer that they were largely absent. The irony being of course that they were entirely unable to self regulate. That is they simply drowned their feelings with substances 

My deep dive into understanding complex ptsd has helped me to.see how incredibly ineffective I was at managing my emotions.  I am not sure what the amends I can make for that 

However now I.do have a greater understanding of how al anon works because in effect it is all about learning self regulation 

Resilience is not about enduring adversity (although I am glad I was somehow able to do that) it is about the small day to day changes that come through winning every day.  That us of course in my case about winning against the odds 

The odds were always against me. I have managed to make many changes in my life thanks to my participation in al anon.  

   Ah shucks, Maresie and Debb...

                                                    I really appreciate your responses!

Maresie. I used to be afraid of mentioning certain things in Alanon. I was just the same in my FOO. 

But times change and new concepts emerge. In my 38 years in Alanon I have seen this time and time again!

Some ideas fall by the wayside. And others become second nature to us all in Alanon.

I appreciate that in our journey our paths converge... I relate heaps to what you are saying!  ...

Thats how things work! 

i did not suffer fear. I called it out and called it terror.

Just hearing or reading a friendly voice gives me renewed hope and renewed strength! Bet on it!   ...

David 

I absolutely have parts of my self that are often oanic. In so many ways going through a pandemic is part of that. Around every corner when I was a child there was absolute chaos 

I am moving towards change but it is like walking through molasses. This time last year I was in such a bad place