Today's reading in Courage to Change was about our thinking, and how when distorted, we can try and force solutions. We tend to not want to wait-- we want things fixed NOW! However, many times, the best course of action is... inaction. Sometimes it is wise to wait and see. As the saying goes, "When in doubt, don't."
While it is true that all I wanted was my husband to be "cured," leaving the marriage was not my first option. Staying and putting up with unacceptable behavior was. It took me quite awhile to understand that was all about me and my fears. Besides my qualifier, the "When in doubt, don't" approach works especially well in normal, everyday situations.
Al-Anon helps us to understand that Reaction is not always the best way.Thoughtful Action and even Inaction can many times serve us best.
It is a beautiful day here. I may putter in the garden and get the rest of my blueberry bushes planted!
&
Debb said
Feb 6, 2021
PNP, thank you for today's reading, your service and ESH.
I would definitely like to putter in my garden today, but it is covered in a foot of snow, with another 6" on the way for tomorrow -
I have learned to actually like to wait especially when in doubt, was always the one who needed to get it done immediately!!
Noticed that when I wait I see stuff that was overlooked, definitely a learning process and a win/win as far as I'm concerned.
Have fun with your blueberry bushes!!
DavidG said
Feb 6, 2021
My nana was born om the Welsh side of the border, in the UK. She used to say: "When in doubt say nought."
In my rebellious days i would say: "When in doubt have it out!" There is a time and a place for everything. I use
the serenity prayer mostly. My family was horribly passive aggressive. There were family secrets. It was oppressive.
Sometimes, I think our combined family cultures become a part of our group. Sorting out the healthy bits, I think,
helps us create healthy boundaries. I think this takes time, care and lots of tact. And, especially always keeping the
focus on myself.
Thanks PNP and Debb... ...
SunnyFrogs said
Feb 6, 2021
I so enjoy reading others shares. It's odd though, reading about things I have never really taken into consideration before.
Like,inaction. It almost sounds a bit foreign to me and definitely an uncomfortable thing to do. It's something I'm willing to try though.
I was listening to a guided meditation this morning and something it said stuck with me. How many times do we get so tense over something that's forgotten about the next day?
Things usually feel and seem so urgent that I feel compelled to take some kind of action. After the fact though I usually realize it wasn't a big deal at all and that I would have been better off taking a step back and doing nothing at all.
I suppose the solution to that dilemma is to remember "when in doubt, don't".
Everything sounds so simple here. All the slogans are so short and simple and to the point. Too bad putting them into practice isn't so simple.
Iamhere said
Feb 6, 2021
Thanks PnP for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your shares & ESH. I felt (before recovery) that one of my strengths was my 'quick-action', and decisive nature. What I didn't realize until much later is that I felt in those heated moments it would be 'weak' of me to wait and see or trust another besides myself. What I know believe is that my first inclination is not my best and when I take the time to reason things out, the answers come - without fail.
I spent many years forcing solutions, wanting to be right and blaming others for my 'state of being'. Accepting others unconditionally and learning to take care of me has been great for my sanity and serenity. I readily dismissed many people from my life over the years always feeling justified. As I reflect, each served a purpose and some I miss greatly and those decisions were possibly made in haste and self-serving.
I spend much more time today reflecting on what makes me want to react to others instead of respond. I spend much less time judging myself and others for who we are and how we are and instead reflect on our human experience is not to be perfect. I can embrace what is and not wonder what could be or what should be. I am content in my own skin, which is a gift I never considered would 'be'.
Well....I'm jealous of 'garden weather'. We've just got a small amount of snow so far, more on the way. What I heard this morning from the weather gal is we will not come close to freezing (32 degrees) until at least 2/18....we've got arctic weather planted in my region for almost 2 weeks. I suppose it's a good time to be without wheels and no place to go! I am excited to watch the super bowl tomorrow - a great way to spend a Sunday!
Love and light all - When in doubt, don't has served me very well in recovery. I have finally learned to just have patience and give my HP time to lead me where I need to go. Hope all had a great Saturday! I've spent the day doing chores, cooking, baking and catching up with family on the phone. I'm tired, in a good way!!
Dear Readers,
Today's reading in Courage to Change was about our thinking, and how when distorted, we can try and force solutions. We tend to not want to wait-- we want things fixed NOW! However, many times, the best course of action is... inaction. Sometimes it is wise to wait and see. As the saying goes, "When in doubt, don't."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While it is true that all I wanted was my husband to be "cured," leaving the marriage was not my first option. Staying and putting up with unacceptable behavior was. It took me quite awhile to understand that was all about me and my fears. Besides my qualifier, the "When in doubt, don't" approach works especially well in normal, everyday situations.
Al-Anon helps us to understand that Reaction is not always the best way.Thoughtful Action and even Inaction can many times serve us best.
It is a beautiful day here. I may putter in the garden and get the rest of my blueberry bushes planted!
I would definitely like to putter in my garden today, but it is covered in a foot of snow, with another 6" on the way for tomorrow -
I have learned to actually like to wait especially when in doubt, was always the one who needed to get it done immediately!!
Noticed that when I wait I see stuff that was overlooked, definitely a learning process and a win/win as far as I'm concerned.
Have fun with your blueberry bushes!!
In my rebellious days i would say: "When in doubt have it out!" There is a time and a place for everything. I use
the serenity prayer mostly. My family was horribly passive aggressive. There were family secrets. It was oppressive.
Sometimes, I think our combined family cultures become a part of our group. Sorting out the healthy bits, I think,
helps us create healthy boundaries. I think this takes time, care and lots of tact. And, especially always keeping the
focus on myself.
I so enjoy reading others shares. It's odd though, reading about things I have never really taken into consideration before.
Like,inaction. It almost sounds a bit foreign to me and definitely an uncomfortable thing to do. It's something I'm willing to try though.
I was listening to a guided meditation this morning and something it said stuck with me. How many times do we get so tense over something that's forgotten about the next day?
Things usually feel and seem so urgent that I feel compelled to take some kind of action. After the fact though I usually realize it wasn't a big deal at all and that I would have been better off taking a step back and doing nothing at all.
I suppose the solution to that dilemma is to remember "when in doubt, don't".
Everything sounds so simple here. All the slogans are so short and simple and to the point. Too bad putting them into practice isn't so simple.
I spent many years forcing solutions, wanting to be right and blaming others for my 'state of being'. Accepting others unconditionally and learning to take care of me has been great for my sanity and serenity. I readily dismissed many people from my life over the years always feeling justified. As I reflect, each served a purpose and some I miss greatly and those decisions were possibly made in haste and self-serving.
I spend much more time today reflecting on what makes me want to react to others instead of respond. I spend much less time judging myself and others for who we are and how we are and instead reflect on our human experience is not to be perfect. I can embrace what is and not wonder what could be or what should be. I am content in my own skin, which is a gift I never considered would 'be'.
Well....I'm jealous of 'garden weather'. We've just got a small amount of snow so far, more on the way. What I heard this morning from the weather gal is we will not come close to freezing (32 degrees) until at least 2/18....we've got arctic weather planted in my region for almost 2 weeks. I suppose it's a good time to be without wheels and no place to go! I am excited to watch the super bowl tomorrow - a great way to spend a Sunday!
Love and light all - When in doubt, don't has served me very well in recovery. I have finally learned to just have patience and give my HP time to lead me where I need to go. Hope all had a great Saturday! I've spent the day doing chores, cooking, baking and catching up with family on the phone. I'm tired, in a good way!!