Hi, Im pretty new to al anon groups and am mightily impressed so far. The only thing about the steps that concerns me is the one that refers to sanity. I have been detained under the mental health act twice in my life and had a severe mental illness, treatment necessitating 3 months in a psych ward. I know the reality of insanity and find the use of the term trivialising. How should I handle this please.
Debb said
Feb 2, 2021
Welcome Puddlediver to MIP.
When the Steps refer to " returning one to sanity" they, for me say that my faith in my Higher Power
is, in that step, telling me that if I turn my fears, pain and need to control over to my Higher Power
that it will help me to move forward and begin to make sense of my life and help me to move in a
more productive direction to heal and work on my self and life. I speak for myself, everyone has
their own take on the use of the wording in each step. We learn that we take what we need
differently because our circumstances and personalities are different. In Al-Anon "Sanity"
also refers to the the chaos that is experienced in an alcoholic atmosphere and if we are able
to work the steps, traditions, and go to face to face meetings we can put the chaos behind us.
Glad you found us and please keep coming back!
Maresie888 said
Feb 2, 2021
Welcome to this group
I agree the word sanity is thrown around very freely.
One thing that is good and bad about alanon is the program was created more than 50 years ago. 50 years is a long time in reference to mental health concepts
Al anon is a set of tools to helo you deal with the issues you have. You get to choose which tools you use. No one else does.
As time goes on some of the issues I have with codeoendency are not addressed in al anon
For the time being some of my issues are addressed here
In addition I seek help from other resources
That is many many other resources. I plan to increase those resources in the next year .
I an very glad you are here and raising your concerns. That is a sign that this is a safe space to be .
Thank you
Maresie
SunnyFrogs said
Feb 2, 2021
Welcome Puddlediver
There was a time whenever anyone used the term PTSD for just about anything they found upsetting It felt invalidating to me. I would think how dare they call a bad breakup or something that wasn't extreme trauma PTSD after everything I have been through in my life? Why are they saying that and claiming that label when they have not been diagnosed by a professional?
After much deep thought about it and questioning why I was getting so upset about it I realized it wasn't right to judge others like that. Who am I to say they don't have PTSD or say someone else's trauma wasn't as bad as mine or not bad enough to get that diagnosis? Trauma is trauma. Not everyone who experiences trauma ends up with PTSD but they do suffer from it none the less,maybe in different ways but they still do. And what I need is compassion for others instead of judgement. What others say doesn't take away from what I have experienced in any way, it doesn't invalidate me as a person.
PTSD is a mental illness but I personally don't feel the term sanity in the step is trivialising mental illness in any way. I take it as meaning the insane behavior that comes along with dealing with an alcoholic/addict. It may not be a diagnosable disorder but it is pretty irrational and harmful behavior. I feel insanity in this context is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And sanity is changing that behavior and finding some peace and serenity.
I'm sorry you feel the term is trivialising the amount of suffering you have been through. I hope you can find a way to move past it.
Lyne said
Feb 2, 2021
Greetings Puddlediver and welcome to MIP! To me in alanon, any reference to sanity is only about the insanity that results from living with alcoholism. Since alcoholism is a disease that leaves a path of destruction, healing from being bombarded from this one disease only, is a monumental task. I lost myself, and became a person I didnt recognize. And its taken several years in this program to understand what happened to me, and regain some self-esteem and self-respect. Its a one day at a time program, and there will never be perfection, only progress.
If you ever attend a face to face meeting, either on zoom or after COVID, in the closing, at one point it is said: take what you like and leave the rest. Every part of alanon is not accepted or liked be every one of us. Please use the parts that can help you and disregard what you want. :)
Iamhere said
Feb 2, 2021
Welcome to MIP puddlediver - glad you found us and so glad that you shared. Also glad to hear that you're finding some answers in Al-Anon recovery - it's been a game-changer for me.
When I arrived, the word that 'set me sideways' was God. I felt I had walked away from the whole religion thing years ago and had no interest at all in having it shoved down my throat. I made a judgement about the program and the people based on one word. For me, this was my denial in how I was affected by this disease and the life experiences of my past.
So, when I get stuck on a word, a phrase, a slogan, other, I tend to go to Google to help me find a definition or concept that better aligns with me/my experience. I've always loved this definition of insanity:
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. These words are usually credited to the acclaimed genius Albert Einstein.
It's simple, has no reference to MH and shows how any of us can be in need of new tools, new ways of healing/dealing from life events. Keep coming back - there's hope & help in recovery.
Puddlediver said
Feb 2, 2021
Wow, I dont think I really expected any replies as Im new to both al anon and this forum. I take on board what you all said in respect of taking what you need and leaving the rest, also the description of insanity as expecting different results from doing the same thing. I appreciate the welcome from you all. I can also imagine that when al anon was started long time passing that political correctness had not been invented and that it didnt infer anything trivialising. Many thanks. I am participating in groups via zoom at the moment and have been reading through 3 of al anon books, courage, day at a time and hope. Makes a lot of sense. Xx
When the Steps refer to " returning one to sanity" they, for me say that my faith in my Higher Power
is, in that step, telling me that if I turn my fears, pain and need to control over to my Higher Power
that it will help me to move forward and begin to make sense of my life and help me to move in a
more productive direction to heal and work on my self and life. I speak for myself, everyone has
their own take on the use of the wording in each step. We learn that we take what we need
differently because our circumstances and personalities are different. In Al-Anon "Sanity"
also refers to the the chaos that is experienced in an alcoholic atmosphere and if we are able
to work the steps, traditions, and go to face to face meetings we can put the chaos behind us.
Glad you found us and please keep coming back!
Welcome to this group
I agree the word sanity is thrown around very freely.
One thing that is good and bad about alanon is the program was created more than 50 years ago. 50 years is a long time in reference to mental health concepts
Al anon is a set of tools to helo you deal with the issues you have. You get to choose which tools you use. No one else does.
As time goes on some of the issues I have with codeoendency are not addressed in al anon
For the time being some of my issues are addressed here
In addition I seek help from other resources
That is many many other resources. I plan to increase those resources in the next year .
I an very glad you are here and raising your concerns. That is a sign that this is a safe space to be .
Thank you
Maresie
There was a time whenever anyone used the term PTSD for just about anything they found upsetting It felt invalidating to me. I would think how dare they call a bad breakup or something that wasn't extreme trauma PTSD after everything I have been through in my life? Why are they saying that and claiming that label when they have not been diagnosed by a professional?
After much deep thought about it and questioning why I was getting so upset about it I realized it wasn't right to judge others like that. Who am I to say they don't have PTSD or say someone else's trauma wasn't as bad as mine or not bad enough to get that diagnosis? Trauma is trauma. Not everyone who experiences trauma ends up with PTSD but they do suffer from it none the less,maybe in different ways but they still do. And what I need is compassion for others instead of judgement. What others say doesn't take away from what I have experienced in any way, it doesn't invalidate me as a person.
PTSD is a mental illness but I personally don't feel the term sanity in the step is trivialising mental illness in any way. I take it as meaning the insane behavior that comes along with dealing with an alcoholic/addict. It may not be a diagnosable disorder but it is pretty irrational and harmful behavior. I feel insanity in this context is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And sanity is changing that behavior and finding some peace and serenity.
I'm sorry you feel the term is trivialising the amount of suffering you have been through. I hope you can find a way to move past it.
If you ever attend a face to face meeting, either on zoom or after COVID, in the closing, at one point it is said: take what you like and leave the rest. Every part of alanon is not accepted or liked be every one of us. Please use the parts that can help you and disregard what you want. :)
When I arrived, the word that 'set me sideways' was God. I felt I had walked away from the whole religion thing years ago and had no interest at all in having it shoved down my throat. I made a judgement about the program and the people based on one word. For me, this was my denial in how I was affected by this disease and the life experiences of my past.
So, when I get stuck on a word, a phrase, a slogan, other, I tend to go to Google to help me find a definition or concept that better aligns with me/my experience. I've always loved this definition of insanity:
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. These words are usually credited to the acclaimed genius Albert Einstein.
It's simple, has no reference to MH and shows how any of us can be in need of new tools, new ways of healing/dealing from life events. Keep coming back - there's hope & help in recovery.