In the day- I went to a neighbouring town with a group of AA's.

They dropped my off at the home of a wife- when they went to the meeting.

W. told me that she did not want to go to Alanon. She said it would open up a can of worms for her.

After all this time hubby is still in AA- and she is as right as rain.

I was the opposite. I needed 4 or 5 meetings a week- if there were any. I could absorb the readings and teaching fairly readily. Where need help and patience was putting them together- and into practise.

In a big city members can shop around and find a meeting that suits.

At this end this is a luxury. At a meeting of two or three members we all get plenty of time to share.

Over my 38 years Alanon I have seen changes and trends. Most of them have been good ones.

Some meetings- based on ODAT readings- the member is supposed to showcase their recovery.

The personal stuff is discussed with a sponsor. This is not always possible. I am always strongly

aware of the amount of personal disclosure that is in the culture of any group. This boundary is

vastly different from what people might discuss in the outside world! 

Mostly. But each member can choose themselves of how much they trust- and how much they need to share.

I find the readings- the steps and traditions, and other stuff to be a steadying factor in meeting.

I might have preferred 100% ESH at one time. But today I see the need for structure. And boundaries too.

In my world I am looking at the survival of Alanon. In recent times I have attended 2 or 3 person meetings.

It is lock-down too. Which makes meeting much much harder...! 

In my original group- if we had a new member- we would all do a Step One share.

The group conscience of other people's meetings is none of my business

In this meeting place MIP Alanon is is my business- equally with all other members.

I think about the group conscience, or group consciousness a lot. If I want a change for myself simply change a little and see if that works. There is a degree of tolerance here which make that easy and possible.

Not to forget the unlimited amount of time we have here- to share.

Was a time here- for 6 or 8 months when I needed to lean heavily on the group- for support... and it took my weight.

When I see others doing this I offer encouragement.

To me this group is like a big city group. I am still learning lots and lots of stuff here. Not always details.

Often subtle and succinct things... experience.  ...

Sometimes i share to a reading or a topic- which I enjoy. I really really enjoy mixing with other members here.

I can choose an icon for my share, above.

I feel relaxed here. At home.

Outside it is raining. We have a very wet summer here. The cherry crops around the valley have been ruined.

But over all- all is well.

In some ways I have rough edges, still. I have mellowed with age- somewhat.

There is not much, in this world- that would shock or surprise me!

 Thanks for the share... ...

 Yes me too Debbs... social justice... 

Sunny- I think all of us wonder what the rights and wrongs are around here. I may not have pinned up a personal share here, three or four years ago. But I do now.  ...

 Went to my f2f meeting last night. Up the top and of the gorge. Only one other member there- who was chairing.

     It went well... the member is fairly new. Instead of holding hands at the end I help my hands up at right angles to my wrist

     and we made contact that way- just a slightly better boundary... ...

Loved all the sharings, I, too, always stood up for myself, and others that couldn't stand up for themselves, which got me into an awful lot of trouble, still does at times. That was such a huge part of me being me, from an early age from childhood, I had to,  it was for my survival.

This program means the world to me, also, the people that I have met through it. I use to say to others, when I did have meetings to go to. It is not only what you hear in meetings, and to be blessed with the meetings themselves, that counts, it is what you do with it after that. I also, heard that Real Recovery starts, when you take it out in life, and live it.

This program, and the people in it, is the glue that puts/keeps me together.

Love Wendy P.

A SAD DAY...

... I have been tinkering with the akronym JADE.

[For me an akronym is an acronym which is related to recovery; Akron being the birthplace of the grand-daddy of 'em all, AA.]

I believe in humility- not humiliation... being sober in thought and spirit and feeling...

I don't need to justify this- but I do need to share to keep the focus on myself.

Being involved with a tiny f2f group- with an incoming member.

My dream last year was to somehow complete Step 12 and focus on Tradition 5.

I wasn't expecting bells and whistles from my higher power- but I needed some sign that I was doing the right thing.

I work mostly steps 10,11,12 these days.

And I will alway be able to do a Step One for newcomers. 

One of our pets died yesterday. It was a bit of a shock. He had died sleeping on the couch- during the afternoon and my SO found him there when she got home from work. He had been sick the previous week, but seemed to be rallying.

For me at least I was at home when this happened. It was a sad time of passing.

My first meeting of Alanon, 38 years ago we talked about feelings.

I learned about grieving from our mana whenua, our local people. Who had healthy grieving rituals.

Any way i had to take time to let the whole thing sink in. To get back into the back yard and dig a grave.

and both my SO and I wept over the grave, together.

For me this is the miracle of recovery- to mark this rite of passage.

Thanks for this extra share.