The reading for Monday, 12/7, cites a paragraph from a poet : Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story.
And the reminder: Like our Serenity Prayer, repeating these phrases each morning could establish our mood for that day...It could serve as a reminder that we must watch the quality of our own deportment....
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This reading caught my eye because I am in the midst of a very unusual and difficult situation with my spouse regarding Covid and lack of good judgement. I am rather good at listening to almost all others, but because of all the history of pain and damage associated with my marriage, I am not always so patient and empathetic with my spouse. But of all people, I think I need to try extremely hard in this relationship, while being true to myself at the same time. Im finding this to be quite challenging and is quite a balancing act....
sunmustshine said
Dec 6, 2020
Hi Lyne,
Thank you for your service and your share.
These are difficult times to say the least. Progress not perfection is all we can do. I find it scary when someone makes choices that are different from mine when health and safety are involved as they are with covid. Keep safe and be gentle with yourself.
(((Hugs)))
PosiesandPuppies said
Dec 7, 2020
Thank you Lyne for your service and share.
This excerpt is from the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. I know b/c I had found this poem on a nice mounting in a yard sale one day, oh, perhaps 10 years ago. My son and I had to leave the house for "air" and found this yard sale within walking distance of our house. I read this poem, and it spoke volumes to me! The words affected me so much, that I went back and bought the item. I then hung it in a place where I could see and reference it daily! Now that my life is different, more peaceful, it is still hung where I can read it everyday.
The poem reminds me that everyone has their trials and tribulations... their "story." I am not that unique, and it is good to be kind and patient.
What a great way to start off my week! Thank you!
&
Overcome said
Dec 7, 2020
Lyne, your post made me pull out my ODAT book that was still packed from my move. I just wanted to say thank you for that, I should have done it before now and maybe I would be doing better! LOL I liked the line from the reading that went, "Like our Serenity Prayer, repeating these phrases each morning could establish our mood for that day." I like coming in here and reading the post for each day and everyone's responses to it. It 'establishes my mood for the day' and that is very important to do each and every morning.
Iamhere said
Dec 7, 2020
Happy Monday MIP! Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares and ESH. Many readings remind me of the progress I have made in my recovery journey vs. how I used to handle things. This is one for sure. Well before living with active addiction, I felt I had to fight to be heard and was certainly misunderstood more than understood. This goes back to childhood and for a long, long while, I thought it was because I was the youngest child, only girl - the 'baby' of the family.
Today, I realize it goes much deeper. Both of my parents had a father who was an alcoholic. My father's was when he was young and my mother's was when he was close to death. My father experienced the active disease growing up and all it brings while my mother had been long gone and only 'heard about it' from her youngest sister. My mother remained in denial about the disease in her father up until she was diagnosed with dementia - she remembers and recalls very little now, so it really doesn't matter.
I am far less concerned today about being heard and understood and far more willing to practice active listening and seek to understand. Not so much because I've become so, so focused on being of service to others (I am, but not above self). Mostly because much of my anxiety and fear was projecting what the words of others meant or intended vs. what they truly meant or intended. In those closest to me, I have found that when I speak in a calm, kind direct manner vs. my previous reactive know-it-all demeanor, conversations do go much smoother.
I spent a whole year on 'Seek to Understand'. In all scenarios, I truly explored what was really happening vs. how it made me feel. If another cut me off in traffic, instead of having it be all about me and 'how dare they', I would project that perhaps they didn't see me or had a bad morning or some bad news that was distracting them. In conversations with my A's, I would try to put myself in their shoes, literally, and seek to understand how I might 'be' if I were they.
It was an interesting year and after words, I found myself far more patient and far better at listening for intent vs. content from others. So, I do believe that we all have baggage and we all truly want to be needed/wanted. Some are better at expressing this than others. We all get sad, disappointed, angry, fearful, etc. and again, some have better tools than others. What I do know is when my calm runs out, that's when the message gets distorted (mine and the other), and often the blame game begins.
I prefer practicing in all my relationships with the tools we have in recovery vs. my former defensive, need to be heard at all costs methods. When I can continuously choose kindness and compassion, it truly helps with my serenity and inner peace.
Happy, happy Monday all. I stayed up later than usual watching football so opted for a calm day around the house. I put my very thick flannel sheets on my bed this morning so am extra excited for bed time tonight! I have my grocery order in place ready for pick up Wednesday morning, before golf. I got my second dresser completely refinished, so the orphaned furniture in one spare bedroom actually matches the day bed. Moving on to a coffee table, followed by an antique chair I've had planned for years.
Sending well wishes for all to have a great Monday. I too have discovered that my AH has been out and about a bit more than I knew about so confronted him about it. He did react and I chose to not take it personally. My thoughts are that this pandemic has made everyone a bit crazy and we're all trying to adapt to a modified normal; some days are better than others. He did add some things to the grocery list this morning so I believe I was heard.
The reading for Monday, 12/7, cites a paragraph from a poet : Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story.
And the reminder: Like our Serenity Prayer, repeating these phrases each morning could establish our mood for that day...It could serve as a reminder that we must watch the quality of our own deportment....
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This reading caught my eye because I am in the midst of a very unusual and difficult situation with my spouse regarding Covid and lack of good judgement. I am rather good at listening to almost all others, but because of all the history of pain and damage associated with my marriage, I am not always so patient and empathetic with my spouse. But of all people, I think I need to try extremely hard in this relationship, while being true to myself at the same time. Im finding this to be quite challenging and is quite a balancing act....
Thank you Lyne for your service and share.
This excerpt is from the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann. I know b/c I had found this poem on a nice mounting in a yard sale one day, oh, perhaps 10 years ago. My son and I had to leave the house for "air" and found this yard sale within walking distance of our house. I read this poem, and it spoke volumes to me! The words affected me so much, that I went back and bought the item. I then hung it in a place where I could see and reference it daily! Now that my life is different, more peaceful, it is still hung where I can read it everyday.
The poem reminds me that everyone has their trials and tribulations... their "story." I am not that unique, and it is good to be kind and patient.
What a great way to start off my week! Thank you!
Lyne, your post made me pull out my ODAT book that was still packed from my move. I just wanted to say thank you for that, I should have done it before now and maybe I would be doing better! LOL I liked the line from the reading that went, "Like our Serenity Prayer, repeating these phrases each morning could establish our mood for that day." I like coming in here and reading the post for each day and everyone's responses to it. It 'establishes my mood for the day' and that is very important to do each and every morning.
Today, I realize it goes much deeper. Both of my parents had a father who was an alcoholic. My father's was when he was young and my mother's was when he was close to death. My father experienced the active disease growing up and all it brings while my mother had been long gone and only 'heard about it' from her youngest sister. My mother remained in denial about the disease in her father up until she was diagnosed with dementia - she remembers and recalls very little now, so it really doesn't matter.
I am far less concerned today about being heard and understood and far more willing to practice active listening and seek to understand. Not so much because I've become so, so focused on being of service to others (I am, but not above self). Mostly because much of my anxiety and fear was projecting what the words of others meant or intended vs. what they truly meant or intended. In those closest to me, I have found that when I speak in a calm, kind direct manner vs. my previous reactive know-it-all demeanor, conversations do go much smoother.
I spent a whole year on 'Seek to Understand'. In all scenarios, I truly explored what was really happening vs. how it made me feel. If another cut me off in traffic, instead of having it be all about me and 'how dare they', I would project that perhaps they didn't see me or had a bad morning or some bad news that was distracting them. In conversations with my A's, I would try to put myself in their shoes, literally, and seek to understand how I might 'be' if I were they.
It was an interesting year and after words, I found myself far more patient and far better at listening for intent vs. content from others. So, I do believe that we all have baggage and we all truly want to be needed/wanted. Some are better at expressing this than others. We all get sad, disappointed, angry, fearful, etc. and again, some have better tools than others. What I do know is when my calm runs out, that's when the message gets distorted (mine and the other), and often the blame game begins.
I prefer practicing in all my relationships with the tools we have in recovery vs. my former defensive, need to be heard at all costs methods. When I can continuously choose kindness and compassion, it truly helps with my serenity and inner peace.
Happy, happy Monday all. I stayed up later than usual watching football so opted for a calm day around the house. I put my very thick flannel sheets on my bed this morning so am extra excited for bed time tonight! I have my grocery order in place ready for pick up Wednesday morning, before golf. I got my second dresser completely refinished, so the orphaned furniture in one spare bedroom actually matches the day bed. Moving on to a coffee table, followed by an antique chair I've had planned for years.
Sending well wishes for all to have a great Monday. I too have discovered that my AH has been out and about a bit more than I knew about so confronted him about it. He did react and I chose to not take it personally. My thoughts are that this pandemic has made everyone a bit crazy and we're all trying to adapt to a modified normal; some days are better than others. He did add some things to the grocery list this morning so I believe I was heard.
Love and light all - make it a great day!