Todays reading is about letting go of resentment and finding acceptance. The writer describes having grown up feeling frustration and anger toward his/her mother, not because she was an alcoholic, but because she did not protect her children from her husband who was abusive and eventually abandoned the family. The writer felt that his/her mother refused to admit the level of chaos and trauma in the home. Through alanon, the writer embraced the slogan live and let live and over time put aside resentment and accepted the situations in which he/she was powerless. The thought for the day adds that acceptance is a way to live and let live and frees everyone to follow their spiritual path.
One of the phrases from the page that resonates with me is in the last paragraph: Today I can put the past where it belongs and focus on taking care of myself. I dont know if its the holidays underway, this particularly and incredibly difficult year, or not for any specific reason but lately I have allowed myself to get mired in thoughts of the past. It is helpful for me to remember that I am equally unable to change events of the past or future! Once I really let go of all that, and embrace accepting that, I have more energy left to deal with the present moments. The quotation at the end of the page describes acceptance as a spiritual discipline. I think that is an excellent description and will continue to do my best to work at it!
I hope everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday:)
Mary
Iamhere said
Nov 29, 2020
Thank you Mary for your service and the daily....I value your ESH and share as well, and hope you also enjoy a peaceful Sunday.
I believe the holidays present a time for reflection. I readily admit I am reminded of loss often during the holidays simply because I usually anticipate seeing my extended family and catching up. That thought is often followed by those we've lost, some too soon.
I am really grateful for recovery as it's helped me to make healthier choices. I've been told it's perfectly OK to look at our past, so long as we just 'visit' and don't overstay. This has been a challenging year for everyone, so I've made it part of my purpose to go out of my way to be more patient, kind, tolerant, etc. Simply put, I feel better about myself and my contribution when I try to be part of the solution vs. part of the problem.
Before recovery, I rarely was present. I was projecting towards the future as if I could know what was coming or I was stuck with pain/events from the past. I prefer to be/do different today and am willing to take action to bring me back to the present when I stray. I can only imagine how much I have missed by not being present, and hope to keep practicing changing that up.
I'm excited for some football today! I am grateful to be who I am and where I am today - I could not always say that! Happy Sunday MIP - make it a great day!
DavidG said
Nov 29, 2020
Thanks Mary, and IAm...
I came from the classic alcoholic father and codependent mother. Our mum did not stay at home, holding the fort though. She went out drinking with dad. Our local was down by the river. One time she became friends with the publicans wife and got the serve behind the bar. She told me that she became instantly aware of the behaviour and the attitudes of the patrons. She said that that turned her around.
Like anyone else I was locked up, and trapped between 'the what ifs' and 'the if only's'. Pure and simple. I think a lot of us know what that is like.
First meeting of Alanon I thought that the slogans were goofy, and corny.
But I do see the sense of them now. Not enough time here to describe this journey. But it has been one of letting go.
I am off to the coast for a week. Working on a property down there.
Have two ewes to take care of. We have a lovely tenant who spent most of his working life working in Australia.
It is a real mixture of work and play. The neighbours down there are really nice.
This time I am staying at a farm stay. Last time I was at the provincial port at a home stay.
Leading up to Christmas- I want this year to be peaceful and productive.
Our raspberries are nearly ready- the best crop ever...
...was a time this was a time of working in the fields.
Not so now...
...playtime.
JerryF said
Nov 29, 2020
Good morning Mary, IAH and David it is always good to read your ESH; I relate. I love what I have learned about acceptance because it changed my life so much, calming my nerves and spirit and leading me on to much more acceptable behaviors. From the other program I learned the motto "Acceptance is the solution to ALL OF MY PROBLEMS" and that became true. I gave up the Jerry with a G and became the Jerry HP walks with today. Yes I changed names thinking I would change my life and I did, my life became a horror show.
Thanks to the program and the fellowship holding and hanging on to me today I am a much saner J...(((hugs)))
-- Edited by JerryF on Sunday 29th of November 2020 12:02:55 PM
a4l said
Nov 29, 2020
Definitely needed to read all the shares. Thanks for your service Mary. Alcoholics still annoy me. Alcoholic parents especially. Working on it. Always working on it.
Good morning everyone-
Todays reading is about letting go of resentment and finding acceptance. The writer describes having grown up feeling frustration and anger toward his/her mother, not because she was an alcoholic, but because she did not protect her children from her husband who was abusive and eventually abandoned the family. The writer felt that his/her mother refused to admit the level of chaos and trauma in the home. Through alanon, the writer embraced the slogan live and let live and over time put aside resentment and accepted the situations in which he/she was powerless. The thought for the day adds that acceptance is a way to live and let live and frees everyone to follow their spiritual path.
One of the phrases from the page that resonates with me is in the last paragraph: Today I can put the past where it belongs and focus on taking care of myself. I dont know if its the holidays underway, this particularly and incredibly difficult year, or not for any specific reason but lately I have allowed myself to get mired in thoughts of the past. It is helpful for me to remember that I am equally unable to change events of the past or future! Once I really let go of all that, and embrace accepting that, I have more energy left to deal with the present moments. The quotation at the end of the page describes acceptance as a spiritual discipline. I think that is an excellent description and will continue to do my best to work at it!
I hope everyone enjoys a peaceful Sunday:)
Mary
I believe the holidays present a time for reflection. I readily admit I am reminded of loss often during the holidays simply because I usually anticipate seeing my extended family and catching up. That thought is often followed by those we've lost, some too soon.
I am really grateful for recovery as it's helped me to make healthier choices. I've been told it's perfectly OK to look at our past, so long as we just 'visit' and don't overstay. This has been a challenging year for everyone, so I've made it part of my purpose to go out of my way to be more patient, kind, tolerant, etc. Simply put, I feel better about myself and my contribution when I try to be part of the solution vs. part of the problem.
Before recovery, I rarely was present. I was projecting towards the future as if I could know what was coming or I was stuck with pain/events from the past. I prefer to be/do different today and am willing to take action to bring me back to the present when I stray. I can only imagine how much I have missed by not being present, and hope to keep practicing changing that up.
I'm excited for some football today! I am grateful to be who I am and where I am today - I could not always say that! Happy Sunday MIP - make it a great day!
I came from the classic alcoholic father and codependent mother. Our mum did not stay at home, holding the fort though. She went out drinking with dad. Our local was down by the river. One time she became friends with the publicans wife and got the serve behind the bar. She told me that she became instantly aware of the behaviour and the attitudes of the patrons. She said that that turned her around.
Like anyone else I was locked up, and trapped between 'the what ifs' and 'the if only's'. Pure and simple. I think a lot of us know what that is like.
First meeting of Alanon I thought that the slogans were goofy, and corny.
But I do see the sense of them now. Not enough time here to describe this journey. But it has been one of letting go.
I am off to the coast for a week. Working on a property down there.
Have two ewes to take care of. We have a lovely tenant who spent most of his working life working in Australia.
It is a real mixture of work and play. The neighbours down there are really nice.
This time I am staying at a farm stay. Last time I was at the provincial port at a home stay.
Leading up to Christmas- I want this year to be peaceful and productive.
Our raspberries are nearly ready- the best crop ever...
...was a time this was a time of working in the fields.
Not so now...
...playtime.
Good morning Mary, IAH and David it is always good to read your ESH; I relate. I love what I have learned about acceptance because it changed my life so much, calming my nerves and spirit and leading me on to much more acceptable behaviors. From the other program I learned the motto "Acceptance is the solution to ALL OF MY PROBLEMS" and that became true. I gave up the Jerry with a G and became the Jerry HP walks with today. Yes I changed names thinking I would change my life and I did, my life became a horror show.
Thanks to the program and the fellowship holding and hanging on to me today I am a much saner J...(((hugs)))
-- Edited by JerryF on Sunday 29th of November 2020 12:02:55 PM