Happy Thursday MIP. The reading for today discusses our goal in Al-Anon - an overall sense of wellness - mental, spiritual and emotional. The writer suggests lamenting for years over the absence of a label that would help identify the soul sickness that brought them to Al-Anon. She found many of the labels tossed around missed the mark...
Going back to basics, the writer suggests her journey in Al-Anon began by seeking recovery from the way a loved one's alcoholism affected her life. Over time, we all realize Al-Anon offers us much more than this. As we grow, we find that we no longer just want to survive. The program principles and tools can help us create a rich and fulfilling life.
Reminder: As I continue on the never-ending path of spiritual progress, I will expand my view of recovery.
Quote from The Twelve Steps and Traditions: "In Al-Anon we believe life is for growth, both mental and spiritual."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This page spoke to me when I first read it and continues to do so. In all the various self-help efforts I deployed in my life, labels were often thrown about. Depending upon the day, my mood and life events at the time, I kept trying to label myself so I could choose a 'best process path' for success.
When I arrived at Al-Anon, I continued this 'effort'. I had spent a lifetime competing & comparing myself (insides) to others (what they show) and felt I always came up short. This page set me free - free to just keep practicing this program, the various tools and to grow, change, heal and deal as I can/want/need to.
For me, this program has given me greater awareness of myself, which has helped me change. It's also given me the freedom to realize I have no right or need to judge others, no matter who they are, what they are doing or saying. So, when I set myself free from trying to apply labels to myself and my 'isms', I chose to do the same for others. I don't care or get caught up if I am (insert label here) or not, I just need to move forward, one step at a time, one day at a time.
I am a grateful member of Al-Anon, and so much more. I am not a victim of my past, but instead a victor. I am perfectly imperfect and I am enough. Make it a great day all - headed to the golf course shortly....find and keep your joy!
Lyne said
Nov 19, 2020
Thank you IAH for your service and great share. I came to alanon to fix my A and instead I'm learning how to fix myself. What a big surprise, but what an important change of plans. I also compared myself to everyone and was always at the end of the line in every way. Betty taught me many important life lessons, one being: to compare is to despair. I try now to compare myself to me, and see if I am behaving the way I can to bring myself respect and self-esteem. And Deepak Chopra says we are above no one, and below no one. The alanon teachings I try to exhibit are to be compassionate and caring, to all. It's a tall order! I'm trying.
JerryF said
Nov 19, 2020
Mahalo Ladies for the service and shares. I am one male member who can say without shame that my recovery was started and supported by the women of Al-Anon and one AA member who was supporting my alcoholic/addict wife and who knew what would help me most and best from the start. My wife came home from a AA meeting on night and said her sponsor suggested I try several Al-Anon meetings and I was in the position of proving everyone wrong there as I was in the AA meetings I went to. "They were all wrong and crazy" and I would continue to prove it. I was a sad, bad mess at the start. The original suggestion was to do 90 meetings in 90 days to learn and I did 102 meetings before arriving at "well maybe". I usually sat in a room of 39 females most often being the only male and they were not cozy with me as often I was disruptive in attitude.
That is not over now as I keep coming back using daily literature, prayers and meditation, MIP and ZOOM groups as I can. I learned that there is no recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction and just recently was reminded of that by a mental, emotional relapse I had no idea was coming on. I did the 9th step on it immediately both people being very new acquaintances who may have been hurt by my behavior. I may find out in the future.
It took less courage to do it this time. I didn't have to travel 26hundred miles both ways like the first 2 events. The program doesn't suggest I take short-cuts. A my HP and the experience told me it was proper.
Thank you for allowing me to stay in the room. I haven't been asked to leave a meeting in a long while and for that I am grateful.
DavidG said
Nov 19, 2020
IAm... ...... great share and great response... ...
In my world i am looking at intergenerational trauma and C-PTSD as a scientific, or hunch based explanation for why things are. But, I, myself has to guard against the paralysis of analysis, in this process. Also against the temptation to think- that with more knowledge I could help others... :)
Alanon has it's own Adult Child manual- "From Survival to Recovery" I think this says all. Maybe today we could also addiscovery- to those words...
...I like it here because we do speak as parents, children, partners of alcoholics. Addicts as well, really, since alcoholism is just another form of addiction. I think we have a unifying force here, powered by a force for good- greater than ourselves!
Tomorrow is an assembly. I actually feel excited- to see old familiar faces- and hoping to see new faces, new blood coming in.
Certainly I have not done so much group work/stuff since ah joined this group!
A great boost...
...thanks... ...
WendyP said
Nov 19, 2020
Hi Iamhere, when I read that reading yesterday, and on reading the sharing, here, I thought to myself of how different everyone is. As I quiet like saying to myself that I am a recovering controller, caretaker, etc. I don't have a problem in saying that or believing it. When I say that to my friends, they laugh at me. I need to see me recovering, that was who I use to be, can still be at times. I need to have the balance, do a Step 10 often, as I know that was one part of me that was very strong, so I need to take it out and look at it sometimes, to see how I am doing or not doing. Or where I am now.
My recovery is so important and I want to give myself the best chance I can to get better and have a different life to the one I had in the past.
Happy Thursday MIP. The reading for today discusses our goal in Al-Anon - an overall sense of wellness - mental, spiritual and emotional. The writer suggests lamenting for years over the absence of a label that would help identify the soul sickness that brought them to Al-Anon. She found many of the labels tossed around missed the mark...
Going back to basics, the writer suggests her journey in Al-Anon began by seeking recovery from the way a loved one's alcoholism affected her life. Over time, we all realize Al-Anon offers us much more than this. As we grow, we find that we no longer just want to survive. The program principles and tools can help us create a rich and fulfilling life.
Reminder: As I continue on the never-ending path of spiritual progress, I will expand my view of recovery.
Quote from The Twelve Steps and Traditions: "In Al-Anon we believe life is for growth, both mental and spiritual."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This page spoke to me when I first read it and continues to do so. In all the various self-help efforts I deployed in my life, labels were often thrown about. Depending upon the day, my mood and life events at the time, I kept trying to label myself so I could choose a 'best process path' for success.
When I arrived at Al-Anon, I continued this 'effort'. I had spent a lifetime competing & comparing myself (insides) to others (what they show) and felt I always came up short. This page set me free - free to just keep practicing this program, the various tools and to grow, change, heal and deal as I can/want/need to.
For me, this program has given me greater awareness of myself, which has helped me change. It's also given me the freedom to realize I have no right or need to judge others, no matter who they are, what they are doing or saying. So, when I set myself free from trying to apply labels to myself and my 'isms', I chose to do the same for others. I don't care or get caught up if I am (insert label here) or not, I just need to move forward, one step at a time, one day at a time.
I am a grateful member of Al-Anon, and so much more. I am not a victim of my past, but instead a victor. I am perfectly imperfect and I am enough. Make it a great day all - headed to the golf course shortly....find and keep your joy!
Mahalo Ladies for the service and shares. I am one male member who can say without shame that my recovery was started and supported by the women of Al-Anon and one AA member who was supporting my alcoholic/addict wife and who knew what would help me most and best from the start. My wife came home from a AA meeting on night and said her sponsor suggested I try several Al-Anon meetings and I was in the position of proving everyone wrong there as I was in the AA meetings I went to. "They were all wrong and crazy" and I would continue to prove it. I was a sad, bad mess at the start. The original suggestion was to do 90 meetings in 90 days to learn and I did 102 meetings before arriving at "well maybe". I usually sat in a room of 39 females most often being the only male and they were not cozy with me as often I was disruptive in attitude.
That is not over now as I keep coming back using daily literature, prayers and meditation, MIP and ZOOM groups as I can. I learned that there is no recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction and just recently was reminded of that by a mental, emotional relapse I had no idea was coming on. I did the 9th step on it immediately both people being very new acquaintances who may have been hurt by my behavior. I may find out in the future.
It took less courage to do it this time. I didn't have to travel 26hundred miles both ways like the first 2 events. The program doesn't suggest I take short-cuts. A my HP and the experience told me it was proper.
Thank you for allowing me to stay in the room. I haven't been asked to leave a meeting in a long while and for that I am grateful.
In my world i am looking at intergenerational trauma and C-PTSD as a scientific, or hunch based explanation for why things are. But, I, myself has to guard against the paralysis of analysis, in this process. Also against the temptation to think- that with more knowledge I could help others... :)
Alanon has it's own Adult Child manual- "From Survival to Recovery" I think this says all. Maybe today we could also add
iscovery- to those words...
...I like it here because we do speak as parents, children, partners of alcoholics. Addicts as well, really, since alcoholism is just another form of addiction. I think we have a unifying force here, powered by a force for good- greater than ourselves!
Tomorrow is an assembly. I actually feel excited- to see old familiar faces- and hoping to see new faces, new blood coming in.
Certainly I have not done so much group work/stuff since ah joined this group!
A great boost...
...thanks...
...
Hi Iamhere, when I read that reading yesterday, and on reading the sharing, here, I thought to myself of how different everyone is. As I quiet like saying to myself that I am a recovering controller, caretaker, etc. I don't have a problem in saying that or believing it. When I say that to my friends, they laugh at me. I need to see me recovering, that was who I use to be, can still be at times. I need to have the balance, do a Step 10 often, as I know that was one part of me that was very strong, so I need to take it out and look at it sometimes, to see how I am doing or not doing. Or where I am now.
My recovery is so important and I want to give myself the best chance I can to get better and have a different life to the one I had in the past.
David, I hope you have a wonderful Assembly.
Love WendyP.