Another beautiful send off. We let the yellow balloon go free & saw it rise into the clouds. Just for my mom. She was an Alanon member.
DavidG said
Oct 19, 2020
One of us... thanks for being there- for your mum, Kathleen... ...
Iamhere said
Oct 19, 2020
Kathleen - you sound good and sound at peace. May your mama rest in peace, be free from any pain and know she's missed.
Maresie888 said
Oct 19, 2020
Kathleen
I did not have the emotional strength or the dollars to say go ou dby in person to my mother. One day she literally just dropped dead on the street
My mother died when I was with the qualifier. Now I think he resented having the focus taken off him for one moment. He was needless to say enraged that one moment was not all about hin. The middle of the nught ohone call was not him going to njail, crashing the car, running out of gas. If it was not all about him then what was all the fuss about?
In his family death was never spoken about
Soon after I left the qualifjer his brother overdosed.
His mother has never acknowledged it
For her the only way to cope is to deny. Now his brothet bever existed. He is wiped off the mao. He simoly disappeared
Denial is the.most basic response for many people
I have worked very hard to grieve ny mother. I work throuh different layers of that every week
Every week there is a new facet
The grief no longer is the knock you off your socks kind
I find myself understanding where some of her behavior came from. That is not a way to excuse it or find a way to have sone bond with her about it.
In a pandemic it must be very hard to get ro goodbye. Every day we are reelimg from yet another shut down or totally out out of the blue or rather left wall development
I was not there in person to say goidbye to my mother. I was also not in a position to mourn with my family.. After all ny family was brought uo in vioence addiction and brital betrayals That isnt a bond of love and oeace and nitial inderstanding
My background means that everything we take for granted about family was never possible. That simoly never hapoenef in my.familu. Not one normal moment ever.
Therefore it is not an issue that I could not exoerience a.memorial funeral or any other matter about her passing
There was nothing remotely normal about my relationship with my mother so there was never going to be a time when that changed.
Love does not come into play when you have experienced that kind of chikdhood. There is no explanation for my mother that comes in a hallmark version or sone greetimg card.
I am t oh totally at oeace with that today but it took me decades to get there. Decades of digging (,the truth cant be summed up in a hallmark verse or sentimentality) grieving and hurting
Today it doesnt hurt in the same earth shattering way and i certainly do not have to have it known
Nevertheless I am so so grateful that I do not have to try to make my experience fit in with others. There was nothing remotely normal about my childhood or my experience with my mother so it is to be exoected saying goodbye would not be remotely normal either.
Kathleen
I did not have the emotional strength or the dollars to say go ou dby in person to my mother. One day she literally just dropped dead on the street
My mother died when I was with the qualifier. Now I think he resented having the focus taken off him for one moment. He was needless to say enraged that one moment was not all about hin. The middle of the nught ohone call was not him going to njail, crashing the car, running out of gas. If it was not all about him then what was all the fuss about?
In his family death was never spoken about
Soon after I left the qualifjer his brother overdosed.
His mother has never acknowledged it
For her the only way to cope is to deny. Now his brothet bever existed. He is wiped off the mao. He simoly disappeared
Denial is the.most basic response for many people
I have worked very hard to grieve ny mother. I work throuh different layers of that every week
Every week there is a new facet
The grief no longer is the knock you off your socks kind
I find myself understanding where some of her behavior came from. That is not a way to excuse it or find a way to have sone bond with her about it.
In a pandemic it must be very hard to get ro goodbye. Every day we are reelimg from yet another shut down or totally out out of the blue or rather left wall development
I was not there in person to say goidbye to my mother. I was also not in a position to mourn with my family.. After all ny family was brought uo in vioence addiction and brital betrayals That isnt a bond of love and oeace and nitial inderstanding
My background means that everything we take for granted about family was never possible. That simoly never hapoenef in my.familu. Not one normal moment ever.
Therefore it is not an issue that I could not exoerience a.memorial funeral or any other matter about her passing
There was nothing remotely normal about my relationship with my mother so there was never going to be a time when that changed.
Love does not come into play when you have experienced that kind of chikdhood. There is no explanation for my mother that comes in a hallmark version or sone greetimg card.
I am t oh totally at oeace with that today but it took me decades to get there. Decades of digging (,the truth cant be summed up in a hallmark verse or sentimentality) grieving and hurting
Today it doesnt hurt in the same earth shattering way and i certainly do not have to have it known
Nevertheless I am so so grateful that I do not have to try to make my experience fit in with others. There was nothing remotely normal about my childhood or my experience with my mother so it is to be exoected saying goodbye would not be remotely normal either.
Maresie