Today's reading looks at how Al-Anon helps us to accept what we can't change, and change what we can. The author relates a story of as a child, they would be fearful their car would go over the side of the road as they traveled this one particular road. They would cling tightly to the door handle of the car, in the hopes of preventing that from happening, not realizing they had zero control over that. They then linked that to their adult life trying to control their Qualifier. Through Al-Anon, they came to understand that although they can't control the way alcoholism/addiction has affected their life, can't control another person, and can't make Life unfold according to their plans, they can admit their powerlessness and turn to their Higher Power for help.
"When I am the driver, the responsibility for steering clear of the road's edge is mine. It is up to me to take my recovery seriously, to work on my attitudes, to take care of my mind, body, and spirit,,, to make amends when I have done harm -- in short to change the things I can."
Today's Reminder - Sometimes the only way I can determine what to accept and what to change is by trial and error. Mistakes can be opportunities to gain the wisdom to know the difference.
"If a crisis arises, or any problem baffles me, I hold it up to the light of the Serenity Prayer and extract its sting before it can hurt me." - One Day At A Time, Al-Anon.
This analogy interested me today b/c I too remember as a child trying to keep our car centered on the mountain roads as we traveled. I would lean to one side, grab the door handle, etc. I even used to think I could make the lights change from red to green so that my dad wouldn't have to wait at so many stop lights! As an adult, all my efforts to keep Addiction at bay and out of my loved ones' lives were for naught. That knowledge in itself is heartbreaking for me. I am grateful I have Al-Anon to help me understand that job was never truly mine to accept. I just don't have that kind of power!
It is a wonderfully cool, overcast day here! Could Autumn finally be here? I am going to take advantage of this day and work in the yard! Find your joy and make it your own today!
&
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 10th of October 2020 10:14:44 AM
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 10th of October 2020 10:15:04 AM
DavidG said
Oct 10, 2020
Gr8 share, P.
When I was a kid, our school bus ran over a sheep, and killed it. I was terrified after that. Anywhere we went.
I don't think I told mum when I got home that day. I sucked it in, as usual. ...
JerryF said
Oct 10, 2020
((((P&P)))) I was looking for metaphors this morning as you have cited to my own recent relapse which happened a day or so ago. I found myself driving of the edge of the road unconsciously and woke up to what was happening. I wasn't doing anything different I was doing the same old stuff expecting different results without initially knowing. I woke up with a "What the hell am I doing"? but had done enough to cause myself deep concern because two other people were included. I felt sick about it and entered into a 10th step quickly before the certain amends which are coming soon. They don't know what was happening and I do while my thoughts tried to deal with excuses to get out of it. Can't and Won't happen cause I don't want the consequences.
I appreciate and love your response. (((hugs)))
Iamhere said
Oct 10, 2020
Thank you PnP for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. There are so many things that when I came to recovery - I did not understand/get. I was not too willing to admit that I found the slogans silly and the Serenity Prayer quaint yet ineffective. Of course, I arrived with my ego and self-will leading me so ... it was a slow, slow process.
Almost by accident, I've come to value the slogans and the Serenity Prayer greatly - relying on them daily, often many times. As I just kept coming back, I realized small changes in how I felt and how I saw things - less negative, a little bit of hope and less fear of the unknown. I have come to 'see' that I have a physical 'tell' when I am restless, irritable or discontent. I literally know I am uneasy and if I don't find a way to pause and pray before I proceed, things just don't go well.
The Serenity Prayer is the first thing I reach for always now. If I can't sleep, I repeat it over and over until I do sleep. If I want to run, hide, yell, vent, defend, etc. I reach instead for this simple yet effective prayer. I love that the God of my understanding has been willing to bless this slow learner with more grace through many experiences and opportunities to practice.
I will admit that knowing I am powerless to change others doesn't mean I am always happy about it. If I could take away the pain of those suffering because of this disease or any other, I would in a heartbeat. Instead, I do what I can to get out of the way so HP can work his miracles.
Happy Saturday all - hope you're making it a great day!
mamalioness said
Oct 11, 2020
THANK you PNP for this lovely post
" It is up to me to take my recovery seriously, to work on my attitudes, to take care of my mind, body, and spirit,,, to make amends when I have done harm -- in short to change the things I can."
My told patterns are fighting me tooth and nail because I have made the commitment to change ME..and my stinking thinking...which creates sick emotions and acting out....I know my brain wants to heal and regulate, and my HP wants that for me, so when I feel like giving up on me, saying I am too damaged, too messed up, hopeless, I pray for the courage to change the things I can and that is ME and my perceptions/thinking that always has a like comback...the healthier I think and feel and behave, the better energy I draw to me...I can only change me and I am gonna keep at it
Today's reading looks at how Al-Anon helps us to accept what we can't change, and change what we can. The author relates a story of as a child, they would be fearful their car would go over the side of the road as they traveled this one particular road. They would cling tightly to the door handle of the car, in the hopes of preventing that from happening, not realizing they had zero control over that. They then linked that to their adult life trying to control their Qualifier. Through Al-Anon, they came to understand that although they can't control the way alcoholism/addiction has affected their life, can't control another person, and can't make Life unfold according to their plans, they can admit their powerlessness and turn to their Higher Power for help.
"When I am the driver, the responsibility for steering clear of the road's edge is mine. It is up to me to take my recovery seriously, to work on my attitudes, to take care of my mind, body, and spirit,,, to make amends when I have done harm -- in short to change the things I can."
Today's Reminder - Sometimes the only way I can determine what to accept and what to change is by trial and error. Mistakes can be opportunities to gain the wisdom to know the difference.
"If a crisis arises, or any problem baffles me, I hold it up to the light of the Serenity Prayer and extract its sting before it can hurt me." - One Day At A Time, Al-Anon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This analogy interested me today b/c I too remember as a child trying to keep our car centered on the mountain roads as we traveled. I would lean to one side, grab the door handle, etc. I even used to think I could make the lights change from red to green so that my dad wouldn't have to wait at so many stop lights! As an adult, all my efforts to keep Addiction at bay and out of my loved ones' lives were for naught. That knowledge in itself is heartbreaking for me. I am grateful I have Al-Anon to help me understand that job was never truly mine to accept. I just don't have that kind of power!
It is a wonderfully cool, overcast day here! Could Autumn finally be here? I am going to take advantage of this day and work in the yard! Find your joy and make it your own today!
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 10th of October 2020 10:14:44 AM
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 10th of October 2020 10:15:04 AM
When I was a kid, our school bus ran over a sheep, and killed it. I was terrified after that. Anywhere we went.
I don't think I told mum when I got home that day. I sucked it in, as usual.
...
((((P&P)))) I was looking for metaphors this morning as you have cited to my own recent relapse which happened a day or so ago. I found myself driving of the edge of the road unconsciously and woke up to what was happening. I wasn't doing anything different I was doing the same old stuff expecting different results without initially knowing. I woke up with a "What the hell am I doing"? but had done enough to cause myself deep concern because two other people were included. I felt sick about it and entered into a 10th step quickly before the certain amends which are coming soon. They don't know what was happening and I do while my thoughts tried to deal with excuses to get out of it. Can't and Won't happen cause I don't want the consequences.
I appreciate and love your response. (((hugs)))
Thank you PnP for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares & ESH. There are so many things that when I came to recovery - I did not understand/get. I was not too willing to admit that I found the slogans silly and the Serenity Prayer quaint yet ineffective. Of course, I arrived with my ego and self-will leading me so ... it was a slow, slow process.
Almost by accident, I've come to value the slogans and the Serenity Prayer greatly - relying on them daily, often many times. As I just kept coming back, I realized small changes in how I felt and how I saw things - less negative, a little bit of hope and less fear of the unknown. I have come to 'see' that I have a physical 'tell' when I am restless, irritable or discontent. I literally know I am uneasy and if I don't find a way to pause and pray before I proceed, things just don't go well.
The Serenity Prayer is the first thing I reach for always now. If I can't sleep, I repeat it over and over until I do sleep. If I want to run, hide, yell, vent, defend, etc. I reach instead for this simple yet effective prayer. I love that the God of my understanding has been willing to bless this slow learner with more grace through many experiences and opportunities to practice.
I will admit that knowing I am powerless to change others doesn't mean I am always happy about it. If I could take away the pain of those suffering because of this disease or any other, I would in a heartbeat. Instead, I do what I can to get out of the way so HP can work his miracles.
Happy Saturday all - hope you're making it a great day!
" It is up to me to take my recovery seriously, to work on my attitudes, to take care of my mind, body, and spirit,,, to make amends when I have done harm -- in short to change the things I can."
My told patterns are fighting me tooth and nail because I have made the commitment to change ME..and my stinking thinking...which creates sick emotions and acting out....I know my brain wants to heal and regulate, and my HP wants that for me, so when I feel like giving up on me, saying I am too damaged, too messed up, hopeless, I pray for the courage to change the things I can and that is ME and my perceptions/thinking that always has a like comback...the healthier I think and feel and behave, the better energy I draw to me...I can only change me and I am gonna keep at it