Our welfare authorities are called Oranga Tamariki, or OT for short.
The name means "healthy children". A goal and a vision that most everyone share.
My nephew and partner had had their two kids taken off of them- and they are in foster care.
I won't tell their story, as such, but share mine- and the part I might play.
The mother, K. is in a treatment centre, as we speak. I sent her a get well card tis week- with a kind note.
The father G. is a hopeless case to anyone else. He was in welfare care- in his own time and was raped.
Before that We fostered him for a year- in an attempt to break the cycle.
I am staying on the coast for a few days and near the city. Looking after my sheep and doing other chores.
I am staying in a good place and a good space.
I spoke yesterday with the kids grandmother yesterday- my cousin. It was a rapid-fire catch-up as she was going out.
But she was engaged with the issues.
There will be a family group conference around the two little boys in 3 or 4 months. I can choose to opt out of this, if I want to.
But I am giving the whole situation my best shot- where i can.
We can try to save the world- and I have tried this one.
But charity does begin at home, in my world.
He whanau, he whanau. Ohana in Hawaii.
Family is family.
Blood is thicker than water... ...
Maresie888 said
Sep 15, 2020
I.am so glad that you are willing to be engaged with your family members in an effort to make changes in your family dynamics. What a formidable task.
When I was a teenager, social services were briefly involved with my extremely dusfunctional abusive family. My mother, with all her limitations, was a supremely manipulative player who was very very skilled at playing the role of the victim. She had them snowed in a thoroughly effective manner from day one. The whole experience left me completely abandoned on yet another level and patently recklessly suicidal.
The repercussions for that #intervention# were lifelong for me. That lack of trust meant it was difficult for me to engage in therapy or even seek help for decades. Of course that issue then set me uo to a life long pattern of hurtlimg at full force into absolutely disastorous relationshios
There is no.doubt that you are aware of the implications and consequences for children raised in difficult circumstances.
Nevertheless you could have chosen to step aside abd say that you have enough on your plate with your own issues
The fact that you able to step up to the table, aware of all the real limitations within social services, as well as the complex intermeshed problems of the parents is more than admirable. Your courage, tenacity and gracious attitide towards this family dilemma is really admirable.
Only someone who had navigated the terrible experience of chronic childhood abuse and neglect could embrace those concepts so thoroughly Your attitude, resolve and kind regards to all those involved is incredible and inspiring to people like me who are struggling through hard times right now.
Maresie
Lyne said
Sep 15, 2020
Hey David, you are stepping up to a very difficult situation, with compassion. For whatever you do about this situation going forward is your decision, but bravo to you for trying.
Maresie888 said
Sep 15, 2020
However much chaos the other persons bring to this situation you do not have to react
Of course chaos breeds chaos. Being arou nd mentality is exhausting. Nvertheless the great reward of detachment and of course recovery is thaf you no longet get caught up in the undertow.
Maresie
Our welfare authorities are called Oranga Tamariki, or OT for short.
The name means "healthy children". A goal and a vision that most everyone share.
My nephew and partner had had their two kids taken off of them- and they are in foster care.
I won't tell their story, as such, but share mine- and the part I might play.
The mother, K. is in a treatment centre, as we speak. I sent her a get well card tis week- with a kind note.
The father G. is a hopeless case to anyone else. He was in welfare care- in his own time and was raped.
Before that We fostered him for a year- in an attempt to break the cycle.
I am staying on the coast for a few days and near the city. Looking after my sheep and doing other chores.
I am staying in a good place and a good space.
I spoke yesterday with the kids grandmother yesterday- my cousin. It was a rapid-fire catch-up as she was going out.
But she was engaged with the issues.
There will be a family group conference around the two little boys in 3 or 4 months. I can choose to opt out of this, if I want to.
But I am giving the whole situation my best shot- where i can.
We can try to save the world- and I have tried this one.
But charity does begin at home, in my world.
He whanau, he whanau. Ohana in Hawaii.
Family is family.
Blood is thicker than water...
...