This is a great place to learn boundaries. Not so much personal boundaries- but group boundaries... and small 'p' group politics. Being in a place where we get to get stuff done... and where, after years of internal battling, get to do stuff together... :D
I am baching at home, at the moment. 'Baching' in NZ means that I am home alone. My SO is on holiday- and I am joining her for a week- in 10 days time.
Last week I bought a duvet cover from the Hospice Shop and i am using it- sleeping close to the fire. It is still freezing cold here- at night.
Sunday- I am thinking about Step 12 again, and what it might mean.
It is possible, these days, that I am not going to coach and burn again- ever. Not fully resolved on this- but getting close.
To fill in an evening- I have been doing a 9 hour talking book- on a topic set in the old south.
Half way through- I realised that i had done this before. But, too, I realised that I was seeing things from a different, and a really fresh perspective.
We, of any people on the planet know when the mind is playing tricks on us. And of course, right from the get-go we cannot see this- until it is almost too late.
Lack or loss or damage of essential boundaries.
I best describe this one by saying- that I used to just gatecrash conversations and just hope for the best!
Having my hearing in my left ear corrected has given me a real new lease on life. I can hear nuance and timbre now another people's voices.
How many times do I say and repeat this! It was a miracle.
The sad thing was that I always had that facility. I just had to tap into it.
About the age of 20 i had my spiritual experience. I spoke in tongues, and have never really done it since. I had two or three days where everything seemed to come together.
But it di don't last. I described my life of psychosis as having a broken leg- which was left untreated. And people took a good swift kick at it- from time to time.
That is truly what it felt like.
But Lo! and behold I did have a life, a world and a family. But I felt really really alone and desperate. In pain. The sad, the bad and the mad.
I have heard 20,000 share and offered about 10,000... ...I have immersed myself in the programme.
I have bin able to sit in a safe place- at least for 90 minutes a week. ...
Some of you reading this may have heard shades of this conversation before.
And yes... ...maybe I am trying to tailor my sharing- so that one day- what ah says- might be accessible to newcomers, as well.
Who knows?
I have no fear of senile dementia- because it will be familiar territory anyway. But mainly because i may well buck the system. Stay for and active- in mind spirit and body.
Ah used to say: "Don't get mad, get even. Get even with the world, by getting better."
There you go- what else could anyone do!
...
PosiesandPuppies said
Aug 9, 2020
David, thank you for sharing your life. Between the differences in country, age and the socioeconomic way you were raised, I learn new words, and see things through a different perspective. I like that!
Enjoy your "baching" time... I used to love the times when I was alone in the house. Of course, now I am "alone" all the time...I am living by my choices.
I am baching at home, at the moment. 'Baching' in NZ means that I am home alone. My SO is on holiday- and I am joining her for a week- in 10 days time.
Last week I bought a duvet cover from the Hospice Shop and i am using it- sleeping close to the fire. It is still freezing cold here- at night.
Sunday- I am thinking about Step 12 again, and what it might mean.
It is possible, these days, that I am not going to coach and burn again- ever. Not fully resolved on this- but getting close.
To fill in an evening- I have been doing a 9 hour talking book- on a topic set in the old south.
Half way through- I realised that i had done this before. But, too, I realised that I was seeing things from a different, and a really fresh perspective.
We, of any people on the planet know when the mind is playing tricks on us. And of course, right from the get-go we cannot see this- until it is almost too late.
Lack or loss or damage of essential boundaries.
I best describe this one by saying- that I used to just gatecrash conversations and just hope for the best!
Having my hearing in my left ear corrected has given me a real new lease on life. I can hear nuance and timbre now another people's voices.
How many times do I say and repeat this! It was a miracle.
The sad thing was that I always had that facility. I just had to tap into it.
About the age of 20 i had my spiritual experience. I spoke in tongues, and have never really done it since. I had two or three days where everything seemed to come together.
But it di don't last. I described my life of psychosis as having a broken leg- which was left untreated. And people took a good swift kick at it- from time to time.
That is truly what it felt like.
But Lo! and behold I did have a life, a world and a family. But I felt really really alone and desperate. In pain. The sad, the bad and the mad.
I have heard 20,000 share and offered about 10,000... ...I have immersed myself in the programme.
I have bin able to sit in a safe place- at least for 90 minutes a week.
...
Some of you reading this may have heard shades of this conversation before.
And yes... ...maybe I am trying to tailor my sharing- so that one day- what ah says- might be accessible to newcomers, as well.
Who knows?
I have no fear of senile dementia- because it will be familiar territory anyway. But mainly because i may well buck the system. Stay for and active- in mind spirit and body.
Ah used to say: "Don't get mad, get even. Get even with the world, by getting better."
There you go- what else could anyone do!
David, thank you for sharing your life. Between the differences in country, age and the socioeconomic way you were raised, I learn new words, and see things through a different perspective. I like that!
Enjoy your "baching" time... I used to love the times when I was alone in the house.
Of course, now I am "alone" all the time...I am living by my choices.
Enjoy your Monday!