When I met the qualifier I had a lot of goals. I also had a lot of hope that my life would get better. I saw him as a good sign. There were a number of red flags there from the beginning. Then a series of catastrophe's Somewhere along the line my goaks evaporared. Despite the pandemic, despite various obstacles I am feeling goal oriented. Hope has come alive I am also seeing how my desire to have a relationship over rode those goals. The idea of being alone was not one of my goals. Now I.welcome being alone. I am really clear I.need to be as self reliant as possible. I do not believe self reliance was ever a goal for me I am really sad my goals got swallowed up in alcoholism and ny own dysfunction. Now I have those goals I will look after them. Losing them was a real issue that I did not address until now. Maresie

I really love this share as I have started before this is so where I'm at. I have been listening to a book called how to unf*ck your life and its companion stop doing that sh*t .. he's a very funny Scottish man who speaks a lot of Alanon without calling it Alanon. It's all about focus on yourself. It's not about the job you're partner your childhood whatever .. it's about today. Iwas reminded recently I'm no longer a helpless child i am a capable adult or I wouldn't have made it this far. I just no longer need certain coping mechonisms. One of my favorite lines in the book so far has been procrastination is what you do .. you're not a procrastinator. Everyone poops .. you don't go around saying I'm a pooper! I get into trouble laughing out loud at some of his stuff. Goals are a big deal .. unlearning the behaviors that keep me stuck has really been a challenge. Goals are about dreams and the future. A great addictions counselor said to be once don't you ever dream? I realize we need to stay one day at a time it's ok to plan and dream understanding that they can flux. So I'm dreaming again and putting into place a plan to help those dreams come true. It IS sad to realize it's taken me this long to get back into my life. I'm so grateful to be IN it. Big hugs and thanks for the share. S :)

Loved your share, Maresie!!

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I had to revise my goals. My boss came over and said there is a big likelihood that we may be laid off So then I had to go into a plan b. I am glad I have a plan b but plan a has to wait until i.see whether I have to stay in plan b Thar is very difficult. As someone with ptad of course I knew plan b was a necessity. Nevertheless after all I have been through this year I was hoping to keep a clear path ahead The good news is the panic did not last long. The good news is I had a plan The bad news is plan a will take longer. The other bad news is of course the economy is being affected dramatically by covid 19. There is no knowing where this is going and that is scary Of course not knowing and being in #survival# mode is familiar to me. I feel being in #survival# is better than beimg in #drowning# mode because I have mosr certainly been there too!! Maresie