I am a dreamer, and always shall be... ...

One day I would like nominate slogan no. 21- and shepherd through a group conscience, to our district assembly- to GSO- and then to a WSO conference.

It might be something like:- "we have the right to be wrong" or maybe "care or cure?"

~sigh~ Anyway- until then i am with "First things first".

I grew up with heaps of clutter-both inside and out. I suppose as I grew up this was reflected on the inside as well. I chucked the teddy bear fairly early on, but a book masqueraded as a soft toy- until the cover fell off and the pages started the erode away. It was Pears Cycyclopaedia.

I eventually read it through and through- along with a heap of other books. Many were nineteenth century volumes I found around the property.

Picture me through may life with a stack of half opened books at my elbow, and you will have a pretty good picture.  

So I really do have difficulty following through and completing projects.

I have put my chainsaw away. 

[Segue] One time I made friends with a white russian women in Australia. She had a stables. She was amazed that a poet could actually head out into her paddock and cut down her dead gum trees!

For all of that I have a complete set of her literary works!

Anyway- I have our firewood in, and am finishing my pruning.

I recycle most woody or leafy things in our back yard. This valley was once a dust bowl- and there are meters of sand out the back! So most stuff gets sequestered back down into mother earth.

But I still have trouble putting things away. I forget where I put things constantly. This is not just about the ravages of old age. I have been like this all my life.  

Touch wood, I have lost my truck key, my cash card or my cell-phone for months. I do have panic attacks where i get very lost inside- and I misplace vital things! 

I feel terrified when this happens.

Even this darned share is withering and wandering... ...

I am getting visits from an Alanon member. She has other contacts in the community. Maybe, one day, a group might be feasible here! ???

Next Thursday I plan to go to the city to help deal with two mokapuna... young-uns... who have been living in a meth. home. So I am praying for them mostly. He whanau, he whanau... [charity begins at home}.

I tend to prefer intellectual work to manual labour. But I have been a black singlet worker for most of my life.

So I do need a balance now- now that I have become semi-retired.

I hung out for this time when I worked in the orchards.

I do need to make the most of my remaining years.

I am still struggling to put a book together- my magnus opus... :it is all inside of my head- but getting the words down is a struggle.

Some share do turning rambles.

I think this is a good sign. It is in this mode where I tend to find solutions.

 Thanks...  ...

Friday 17th.

I went to a book sale. I buy few these days. I spend time giving them back now...

But I got three or four beauts.

Freezing cold here. But it rarely ever snows in this valley. Too dry.

I went out to feed the chooks. Walking back down the path I see the gate at the end. I have fixed this one. For 2 years it hung crookedly.

I developed a thing I called "squirrelling". A semi-public form of journalling. Our mum used to say to me: "You aren't the only pebble on the  beach."

Mum was full of good wisdom, on a good day.

I am a very moderate writer of book and booklets. It is humbling to see rows and rows of them. All waiting to be read- again!

I was, and am, very rebellious. As a kid I was the classic goody-two-shoes.

Trying to squeeze in a shares at meetings. Starting to get my yah-yahs out...

...trying to beat the egg-timer- if there is one. 

Some meetings few if any really want to share... and so there are boring readings. Like junior school.

I like a good mix of readings and ESH!

Over lock-down I finally realised that I am no longer a newbie.

I don't have to prove anything- or justify anything- not any more.

I always say the only qualifier I bring to a meeting is myself.

Chances of having a live local group look fairly promising at the moment.

I want to see Alanon going forward. Sticking to the major principals. But maybe 

let younger members craft things around the edges- to suit their growing needs.

I am so aware of the pandemic we are all a part of- that has been ravaging people and families for generations. Trauma masquerading as destruction, addiction and compulsion.

And no-one but us are going to make the vital changes- touch the support people. But firstly to reach ourselves, and each other... with the truth, honesty, hope... 

happiness...  ...

Lyne, I am sorry you are having so many challenges all at once. When stressed, it can be hard to see what is the "first thing" to put first.

I really relate to your hawk-proofing! For me this last few weeks it has been an attempt to do wild-turkey-and-deer-proofing to protect my new plants. After some frantic attempts that didn't work, I realized that I am actually trying to fight against nature. Do I really think I can control nature?? For my peace of mind, I have to embrace Progress Not Perfection. I have not given up entirely, but have to accept that there are certain animals, which I actually love, that I cannot control -- I just want them to respect my boundaries. I am going to Pause -- and observe over the next months which plants the deer eat and which they don't eat, and then plant more of the kind they don't eat. Although I have been told that hungry deer will eat anything, which has parallels to what I have learned about alcoholics. Time will tell.

And I have installed a motion-detecting water sprayer, which I think says, "Dear deer and turkeys, please live your life the way you want, and I appreciate your beauty, but if you cross my boundary, I will spray you with a sudden burst of water." Does that sound like a healthy boundary? 

David, you mentioned young people adapting the program. I have thought about this as well. One thing I worried about is that I noticed younger folks, such as my adult children, really do not use cash for anything. They only use electronic means of payment. And I worried about passing the basket for 7th tradition donations during meetings -- how will we accommodate young people who don't carry cash with them?

Now, with the pandemic and Zoom meetings, us "oldsters" in the program have figured out how to use apps such as Venmo to allow people to make donations with their smartphones. This new knowledge and adaptation to modern times will be a good outcome from a bad situation, and make it easier for our meetings to be self-supporting through our voluntary contributions.

A very interesting share, David!

I love that you are open to having the younger gen craft the meetings to their preference. It is my strong belief that the younger generations can see things outside of the proverbial box easier and better than their elders. As we age, our minds become less flexible, unless you actually work on freeing it up. However, the older generation has experience and actual WISDOM on their side! Really, a good partnership!
Freetime is so correct about Gen Z not carrying cash. Heck, I rarely carry cash. I find that it is just smarter, as I think it deters robbery. I mean, sure they can strong-arm your card from you, but you could freeze it before they even get to an ATM! Earlier, I had met with some discomfort with not being able to "give" b/c I had no cash on me before I gave in and started using cash-apps. Adjusting with changing times is a good thing!

Freetime - as for the motion-sensor sprayers: if the water only does not do it, try adding a small amount of white vinegar to the reservoir. Here in CA we have many people with backyard ponds. The local raccoons LOVE the open smorgasbord! The water sprayers work well, but not always with raccoons... so my friends use the vinegar... works like a charm!

Lyne - I am sorry that you have such a "full plate" right now. Hugs to you!! But as usual, you impress me with your Program work.

Wishing you all & this weekend!

 Lyne and Freetime...

                                  I might have kept writing and writing here.

Did my Step 11. I have lost 3 old-timers, from just before lock-down- Betty, Gwen and Jean.

All were strong influential in my life. Jean was the first- in 1974- who put me on to AlAnon. Now I am regarded as a member of her family.

Gwen, along with hubby R. Were our local stalwarts, right from day one.

And Betty- y'all know Betty here. Someone I actually knew in person too.  ...

Gathering together these three threads of my life- offered to me by our higher power. I see a great common denominator...

...all three were ready and willing to go. They left us graciously. They lived and practised a deep intense sense of gratitude.

Already- in my home town I have graduated as the "old timer".

I know now that I am up to this- I have been training and preparing for years- with wise counsel.

How to work in with others is an essential part of this. I just did not know how to do this at the beginning.

In Maori we say:- Ka puta te ruha, ka hao te rakatahi.

"The old net is cast aside, and out leap the young people." 

Might say:- Ka puta te ruha, ka pua te rakatahi... which is like calling the youth blossoms, rather than fruit.

To be nurtured and given ways of creating their own guidance, their own direction.

Kia miharo... mahalo... thanks...  ...y'all come back now!  ...

Thanks, PnP, for the tip! I love how in AlAnon we can learn things that apply to all areas of life!