There are some givens in this world. Life itself is a given.
I use the serenity prayer a lot- to figure stuff out. ...
I came into Alanon as an adult child. Today i always say that the only qualifier i need is myself.
We have a new member in town- and she and i have met and are talking a lot together.
My goal was to be a part of a group- as an old timer... and it makes a lot of sense to get to know people first.
And as far as 'a local group' goes apply the serenity prayer.
In my life and world there were a lot of pluses. But- the reason why I came in the first place- the bads overshadowed that a lot.
Awful bads.
I had trouble figuring out what reality was. Some vital boundaries were lost, smashed, or non-existent.
Inside of Alanon- along with AA, NA members, OA, SLAA, "XA" I an still learning a lot- and actually learning fast.
A recovery friend once told me that i had the ability to sum a lot of things up.
At my age this is a lot of material- but I find that I am sifting through it all! ...
Norms is something that Alanon has given me. Some really strong essential givens. Some things that are negotiable.
But this group here is a great place to test these boundaries, because we are an independent group.
I find that in this group conscience issues just arise- from time to time.
I find that members just close ranks a little... almost unconsciously... and we all do seem to get the picture.
I must admit I am always a little scared of Traditions one and two... they trigger me some.
But today I see this more as a gentle challenge, rather than a threat!
Often my mind goes back to the two last meeting I attended in the US. In Rapid City SD. Two different meetings. And before that a meeting with Betty where I was an honoured guest.
I wanted to grab the essence of what worked best in Alanon.
This is emphasised and underlined right here- nearly every day for me- in this group! ... ... ...
I grabbed onto the shirt-tails of this group, and it carried me along- for quite along time! ...
Thanks... deep and grateful thanks...
i think that most of us realise- that we sometimes deal with life and death issues.
I think that this thought, more than anything, give us a deep indelible bond.
Oh gosh! There... !!!
JerryF said
Jul 10, 2020
That you are a wise, loving, supportive member of our program is a given David. Your mana`o, your ESH keeps me coming back with interest and love...((((hugs))))
PosiesandPuppies said
Jul 10, 2020
I love your shares, David... and yes, I do look upon you as an "old-timer" here... but many times your shares are full of new ideas, new revelations about yourself. I learn from those.
Besides, I love hearing about your world there in NZ!!
&
Lyne said
Jul 11, 2020
Hi David. The part of your share that hit me was not knowing what reality was. I'm a very late-comer for knowing the real truth of a situation.
In my FOO I had an abusive older brother, with no protection from parents. The confusing part there was that when he was not in his anger mood, he was very nice to me. He recently told me a lie in a text, but since program I now know what the truth is. He has his problems but he doesn't see it.
The other confusing part of life for me was my first alcoholic husband and now my alcoholic wife. They could both lie to my face and think nothing of it. I knew my present spouse was drinking one Thanksgiving and told her so. She said I was crazy. I took her drink and took a taste --of course it was alcohol. But having been beaten up most of my life in one way or another, I just didn't know how to trust myself and my instincts.
Program has given me the courage to listen to me, and even if wrong, that's OK. I can make amends and promptly admit it. My tools for a good life come from alanon. Grateful member, Lyne
There are some givens in this world. Life itself is a given.
I use the serenity prayer a lot- to figure stuff out.
...
I came into Alanon as an adult child. Today i always say that the only qualifier i need is myself.
We have a new member in town- and she and i have met and are talking a lot together.
My goal was to be a part of a group- as an old timer... and it makes a lot of sense to get to know people first.
And as far as 'a local group' goes apply the serenity prayer.
In my life and world there were a lot of pluses. But- the reason why I came in the first place- the bads overshadowed that a lot.
Awful bads.
I had trouble figuring out what reality was. Some vital boundaries were lost, smashed, or non-existent.
Inside of Alanon- along with AA, NA members, OA, SLAA, "XA" I an still learning a lot- and actually learning fast.
A recovery friend once told me that i had the ability to sum a lot of things up.
At my age this is a lot of material- but I find that I am sifting through it all!
...
Norms is something that Alanon has given me. Some really strong essential givens. Some things that are negotiable.
But this group here is a great place to test these boundaries, because we are an independent group.
I find that in this group conscience issues just arise- from time to time.
I find that members just close ranks a little... almost unconsciously... and we all do seem to get the picture.
I must admit I am always a little scared of Traditions one and two... they trigger me some.
But today I see this more as a gentle challenge, rather than a threat!
Often my mind goes back to the two last meeting I attended in the US. In Rapid City SD. Two different meetings. And before that a meeting with Betty where I was an honoured guest.
I wanted to grab the essence of what worked best in Alanon.
This is emphasised and underlined right here- nearly every day for me- in this group!
... 
... 
...
I grabbed onto the shirt-tails of this group, and it carried me along- for quite along time!
...
Thanks... deep and grateful thanks...
i think that most of us realise- that we sometimes deal with life and death issues.
I think that this thought, more than anything, give us a deep indelible bond.
Oh gosh! There... !!!
That you are a wise, loving, supportive member of our program is a given David. Your mana`o, your ESH keeps me coming back with interest and love...((((hugs))))
Besides, I love hearing about your world there in NZ!!
In my FOO I had an abusive older brother, with no protection from parents. The confusing part there was that when he was not in his anger mood, he was very nice to me. He recently told me a lie in a text, but since program I now know what the truth is. He has his problems but he doesn't see it.
The other confusing part of life for me was my first alcoholic husband and now my alcoholic wife. They could both lie to my face and think nothing of it. I knew my present spouse was drinking one Thanksgiving and told her so. She said I was crazy. I took her drink and took a taste --of course it was alcohol. But having been beaten up most of my life in one way or another, I just didn't know how to trust myself and my instincts.
Program has given me the courage to listen to me, and even if wrong, that's OK. I can make amends and promptly admit it. My tools for a good life come from alanon. Grateful member, Lyne