Thank you, Lyne for this Daily reading and sharing your thoughts. I often wondered, reading the steps, why we need several steps to get rid of our character defects. Not only do we have to list them, we also have to admit them to others outside of ourselves, become entirely ready, and then humbly ask for our defects to be removed ... and after all that, we get into amends. Why does it take so many steps?

One reason, I think, is that my defects are coping mechanisms taken too far. They are meant for self-protection -- which is fine, but behaviors used to excess or used on the wrong target are harmful to me. And yet, what am I going to replace them with? If I give up worry, control, self-denial, denial of problems that exist ... how will I keep myself safe? It's a difficult problem. I think that's why it takes time.

For me, I think the solution is in the amends ... and of course Step 10 to keep up with self-awareness. To me, amends means change -- a change in my thinking and behavior. I have to make those changes, and I may need support and care from higher powers to be able to change, to act with understanding instead of "thinking about how to punish others,"to know that I don't have to bear all burdens alone, to know that others have a higher power and it isn't me.

I appreciate how the steps are "baby steps" ... little by little, allowing defects to be removed so I can be improved.

Thank you Lyne for your service and the Daily. I have often admired your diligence to your program!

Freetime - I too appreciate how this program is designed with "baby steps."

I hope you both have a great Monday!
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Thank you Lyne for the daily and your service. Thanks to all for the shares above me. I can admit to pleasure in my defects before recovery and even for a while after starting. I took great pleasure in plotting revenge, being right, telling others how right I was (and how wrong they were), etc. I could be selfish, self-centered and had opinions, direction and more for anyone - asked or not! So, those defects worked for me for a while, until they did not!

I can't tell you when that happened and why it happened but the displeasure of being 'like that' was great enough that I truly began to be very mindful of pausing and considering my response. As with all things, practice and more practice has helped. I still to this day can tell you my 'first thought' when faced with adversity, chaos, drama, discontent and my chosen response are often vastly different. At some point, I just no longer desired to invest in the negative energy of before and welcomed any alternative that appeared/sounded more healthy.

I've always considered my defects as assets exploited. We all have unique talents, provided at creation, with an intended purpose. It was my will, ego and fear that led me to exploit them for self preservation. I believe a big factor and turning point for me was learning how to forgive myself and others, and as suggested above, going through the amends process. What I have learned about my journey is just like in life, everything unfolds on God's timetable - not mine. Those silly suggestions, such as gratitude and asset lists, being of service to others, being open/willing for whatever comes next, etc. all taught me to just try and stay present and focused on me as best I can, one day at a time.

Happy Monday all! I (not fond of heights and scared of birds) ended up in our cherry tree in 100 degree temps. for hours battling birds for enough cherries to make cherry crisp! It was (as with most things) not as bad as I expected but those darn birds think they own that tree! I barely cleared two lower branches - got so many more to go! It was part of my plan for today so it was worth it...love and light all!

I hated the gratitude list when I was asked to make it. Three things every day It was a real struggle to make it. Of course one of my gratitudes was never my health i never felt gratitude for my health. I took it for granted Some of my charactor defects have been lifted immeasurably by al anon. One of them was my acting on impulse. I could list long and hard the ways that defect cost me. My inclination to be angry at others has also been affected. Of course I used to have blazing rows. The kind of day long week long sagas I had were incredible with the qualifier. They were wholly destructive The company I currently work with refused to pay me any sick time. I had not been there 90 days. I resolved to leave the company when they did that. I found away to leave. I kept giving loyalty to people who showed me nothing in return. I invested over and over in people who were incredibly destructive to my life. Prior to the time I was ill I was a real team player for the company. I put in plenty of hours. I was not rewarded. Time to go. Nevertheless I am going on my own terms. I am looking for every day ways to make my life better. I need a respite after what I have endured this year. I have had many many difficult years. My time with my qualifier led me to new lows. I was severely tested then and had to dive into al anon to get some respite. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to reflect on I have come a long way in this program. Maresie