I had to REALLY detach and just "do my thing" today as roommates meet with HOPEFULLY her next landlord got postponed....so I am still "wearing her" but I am keeping cordial distance, not engaging her, not inviting another cycle of drama and chaos....shes telling me "i was crying because she had a meet and could not meet with me" I just said "oh, sorry, better luck tomorrow" and I really kept it generic.....
I just do NOT respond with any emotion or anything that can feed her need for drama and chaos.....i find detachment, being "too busy taking care of me" my best defense....not "being in her face" so to speak for her to cycle into another drama fest that I know is coming, but next one??? I'll just say "ok" and walk away....or "will pray for you" and walk away/distance....
I told my buddy across the street about her and he winced, said to me "that has to be awful" because even tho I have ptsd and GAD, I am pretty EVEN....Like if I don't want to talk or am overwhelmed and needing my quiet, I SAY SO...nicely, but I SAY SO....I don't expect others to read my mind...I don't expect others to enable me/care take me.......I state my needs/boundaries, etc, and that is that......and if it is "times up" it is "TIMES UP" meaning I want my space/quiet/me time.....
so maybe tomorrow she will meet with her new prospective landlady....she is running out of time....her social worker or councelor is gonna have to step in , pastor Leslie said HE would help...i want her GONE Jun 3rd and she will be GONE!!!! I am ready to move on....
Meantime?? I am just doing me and my life....
Bo said
May 29, 2020
Focus on you...as you have been doing...and...
Do the next right thing in front of you...the next called upon thing in front of you...the next action in front of you.
You got this. You know what to do...Keep up the great work!!!
Temple said
May 30, 2020
Rosie, I think you are handling this in excellent fashion. I am impressed.
So glad the pastor has offered to help. And that you are sticking to your guns.
It's been harder than I can probably imagine and you have learned a lot. And overcome the temptation to spin out in bigger circles around her. Well done! You have to feel good about your progress.
I had to REALLY detach and just "do my thing" today as roommates meet with HOPEFULLY her next landlord got postponed....so I am still "wearing her" but I am keeping cordial distance, not engaging her, not inviting another cycle of drama and chaos....shes telling me "i was crying because she had a meet and could not meet with me" I just said "oh, sorry, better luck tomorrow" and I really kept it generic.....
I just do NOT respond with any emotion or anything that can feed her need for drama and chaos.....i find detachment, being "too busy taking care of me" my best defense....not "being in her face" so to speak for her to cycle into another drama fest that I know is coming, but next one??? I'll just say "ok" and walk away....or "will pray for you" and walk away/distance....
I told my buddy across the street about her and he winced, said to me "that has to be awful" because even tho I have ptsd and GAD, I am pretty EVEN....Like if I don't want to talk or am overwhelmed and needing my quiet, I SAY SO...nicely, but I SAY SO....I don't expect others to read my mind...I don't expect others to enable me/care take me.......I state my needs/boundaries, etc, and that is that......and if it is "times up" it is "TIMES UP" meaning I want my space/quiet/me time.....
so maybe tomorrow she will meet with her new prospective landlady....she is running out of time....her social worker or councelor is gonna have to step in , pastor Leslie said HE would help...i want her GONE Jun 3rd and she will be GONE!!!! I am ready to move on....
Meantime?? I am just doing me and my life....
Do the next right thing in front of you...the next called upon thing in front of you...the next action in front of you.
You got this. You know what to do...Keep up the great work!!!
So glad the pastor has offered to help. And that you are sticking to your guns.
It's been harder than I can probably imagine and you have learned a lot. And overcome the temptation to spin out in bigger circles around her. Well done! You have to feel good about your progress.
As Bo said--you got this.
Bless you!
Temple