Today's topic is about Enjoyment and is taken from The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beattie.
She mentions, "Life is not to be endured; life is to be enjoyed and embraced."
She goes on to say that many of us were raised with the belief that we 'square our shoulders and get through a meager, deprived existence for far-off "rewards" in Heaven.' She suggests that belief, is a codependent belief. There are many times when life will be stressful and challenge our endurance skills. But in Recovery, we're learning to live, to enjoy our life, and handle situations as they come.She opines that the survival skills we develop have served us well in the past. They have gotten us through difficult times -- as children, as adults. The ability to freeze feelings, deny problems, deprive ourselves, and cope with stress has helped us get where we are today. (In Program) you are safe now. We are learning to do more than survive. We can let go of unhealthy behaviors. Each day we are learning new, better ways to protect and care for ourselves. We are free to open up and come alive!
Quote of the day: "Today I will let go of my unhealthy endurance and survival skills.I will choose a new mode of living, one that allows me to be alive and enjoy the adventure."
Well, how appropriate for right now. huh? We are all "hunkered down" trying to just endure this time until a vaccine for the virus is found. I have seen that it can allow for some survival skills to return. My goal is to not let them gain a foothold. No need for denial. Every need to keep taking care of my needs. I really enjoy the feeling I get when anyone refers to Life as an "Adventure." I think because it suggests that there is more than whatever negative I am experiencing right now... and you know what? That is a correct statement! It is all in how you look at your life... something good and miraculous could be just around the corner!!
So I say, "How are you going to enjoy this weekend?" What type of Enjoyment are you going to seek out and hopefully embrace? Shares welcomed.
&
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 23rd of May 2020 12:10:28 PM
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 23rd of May 2020 12:11:16 PM
mamalioness said
May 23, 2020
((((((((PnP)))))))))))))
Thank you oh so much for this post. I really needed to see this one LOL my mantra of old was that life stinks and then you die. I had the most horrible attitude because I had a very horrible childhood and I drug my demons into my adult life with my sick beliefs about myself and about my future and about God and everything. I cannot believe the person I was back then.
I had no good examples all Of my life to show me any different. So I drug my self through life with self-medicating and fantasy and just dissociation from my own self, I, too, believed that the only peace and happiness I would find would be when I passed on so I looked forward to dying. Thats all I wanted to do was wait until I died. It makes me sad to think that that was all I had to look forward to was my death and my release
I had no idea about these 12 step programs that have given me life and hope and new skills with which to take care of myself. Even laid up with my back and my butchered little finger, I am healing and I am finding fun little things to do while I take care of me. My survival skills helped me in the past survive the trauma But I do not need them anymore so I tell them like an old worn out shoe that thank you for your service for me getting me through the darkness but I no longer need you survival skills and so I say goodbye with gratitude. Those old survival skills were necessary at the time. So I say goodbye to them without Rancor or resentment but with A sort of gratitude that they were there when I needed them. My inner children were very creative to have created ways for me to survive
As far as feelings went, the only feeling I could feel and show was anger and it was off the charts and like you say, being hunkered down getting through this virus has created many a gloomy mood but I try to see the positive even in the skin that I have seen lots of love and community caring and sharing in my own neighborhood here where people were forced, sort of, to look at themselves and their lives and to realize that there is nothing more precious than love and kindness and camaraderie, working together and I totally agree with you in that it is all how you look at something that is what is going to create what feelings I have, how I look at something, and therefore I will respond according to the feelings. I have seen a lot of positives in this
I have connected with neighbors that I had not much awareness of before. I value and connect more with my friends and my family of choice and we support each other. Like you said, its all in how I look at it. I dont look at life as a sentence to be served, I see it as life: the ups and the downs and program never promised me a rose garden but it did promise me how to deal with the not so happy moments and even the happy moments to not get so overly attached because they too will pass
I am on my microphone so I hope this post made sense. I really loved what you said here, thank you so much not just for the post but for existing in my life as a fellow recovery mate that I treasure very much
Iamhere said
May 23, 2020
Thanks PnP for your service and the daily! As I sit her in my quarantine, I must admit I'm getting edgy to get out and about! A part of me is equating this suggested quarantine as an equal to being grounded as a teenager, so the deep-seated rebellious, self-absorbed teen in me is trying to rise to the surface!
Needing a good distraction, I began the task of sanding a dresser I'm going to refinish/repurpose. That worked quite well as I began to think what I want it to look like and what I'll need to finish the project. Sometimes, all it really takes is me finding a distraction to reset my mind/thoughts. Projects like this also give me pause as I am reminded of who I was when I got here, where I am today and how far I've come!
I make it a point to reach out to 10 + people every day....it's not as fun as random acts of kindness because I kind of have to plan, but it always makes me feel good when I am of service to others. While I was out of town, 3 of my gal pals were planting herbs and veggies and I was jealous as I love digging in the dirt and really love fresh, home-grown veggies and herbs! We do have tomatoes in the ground and have added blueberries this year so I'll just have to get herbs from my gal pals.
I was not a fan of my life and myself when I was in 'survival mode'. I like me way more today as I thrive instead. I so enjoy new things and living a grateful life, full of service to self and others. I don't know where I'd be without this program and all who lift me up and support me in it and beyond!
Sorry about the late post, folks!
Today's topic is about Enjoyment and is taken from The Language of Letting Go by Melodie Beattie.
She mentions, "Life is not to be endured; life is to be enjoyed and embraced."
She goes on to say that many of us were raised with the belief that we 'square our shoulders and get through a meager, deprived existence for far-off "rewards" in Heaven.' She suggests that belief, is a codependent belief. There are many times when life will be stressful and challenge our endurance skills. But in Recovery, we're learning to live, to enjoy our life, and handle situations as they come.She opines that the survival skills we develop have served us well in the past. They have gotten us through difficult times -- as children, as adults. The ability to freeze feelings, deny problems, deprive ourselves, and cope with stress has helped us get where we are today. (In Program) you are safe now. We are learning to do more than survive. We can let go of unhealthy behaviors. Each day we are learning new, better ways to protect and care for ourselves. We are free to open up and come alive!
Quote of the day: "Today I will let go of my unhealthy endurance and survival skills.I will choose a new mode of living, one that allows me to be alive and enjoy the adventure."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, how appropriate for right now. huh? We are all "hunkered down" trying to just endure this time until a vaccine for the virus is found. I have seen that it can allow for some survival skills to return. My goal is to not let them gain a foothold. No need for denial. Every need to keep taking care of my needs. I really enjoy the feeling I get when anyone refers to Life as an "Adventure." I think because it suggests that there is more than whatever negative I am experiencing right now... and you know what? That is a correct statement! It is all in how you look at your life... something good and miraculous could be just around the corner!!
So I say, "How are you going to enjoy this weekend?" What type of Enjoyment are you going to seek out and hopefully embrace? Shares welcomed.
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 23rd of May 2020 12:10:28 PM
-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Saturday 23rd of May 2020 12:11:16 PM
Thank you oh so much for this post. I really needed to see this one LOL my mantra of old was that life stinks and then you die. I had the most horrible attitude because I had a very horrible childhood and I drug my demons into my adult life with my sick beliefs about myself and about my future and about God and everything. I cannot believe the person I was back then.
I had no good examples all Of my life to show me any different. So I drug my self through life with self-medicating and fantasy and just dissociation from my own self, I, too, believed that the only peace and happiness I would find would be when I passed on so I looked forward to dying. Thats all I wanted to do was wait until I died. It makes me sad to think that that was all I had to look forward to was my death and my release
I had no idea about these 12 step programs that have given me life and hope and new skills with which to take care of myself. Even laid up with my back and my butchered little finger, I am healing and I am finding fun little things to do while I take care of me. My survival skills helped me in the past survive the trauma But I do not need them anymore so I tell them like an old worn out shoe that thank you for your service for me getting me through the darkness but I no longer need you survival skills and so I say goodbye with gratitude. Those old survival skills were necessary at the time. So I say goodbye to them without Rancor or resentment but with A sort of gratitude that they were there when I needed them. My inner children were very creative to have created ways for me to survive
As far as feelings went, the only feeling I could feel and show was anger and it was off the charts and like you say, being hunkered down getting through this virus has created many a gloomy mood but I try to see the positive even in the skin that I have seen lots of love and community caring and sharing in my own neighborhood here where people were forced, sort of, to look at themselves and their lives and to realize that there is nothing more precious than love and kindness and camaraderie, working together and I totally agree with you in that it is all how you look at something that is what is going to create what feelings I have, how I look at something, and therefore I will respond according to the feelings. I have seen a lot of positives in this
I have connected with neighbors that I had not much awareness of before. I value and connect more with my friends and my family of choice and we support each other. Like you said, its all in how I look at it. I dont look at life as a sentence to be served, I see it as life: the ups and the downs and program never promised me a rose garden but it did promise me how to deal with the not so happy moments and even the happy moments to not get so overly attached because they too will pass
I am on my microphone so I hope this post made sense. I really loved what you said here, thank you so much not just for the post but for existing in my life as a fellow recovery mate that I treasure very much
Needing a good distraction, I began the task of sanding a dresser I'm going to refinish/repurpose. That worked quite well as I began to think what I want it to look like and what I'll need to finish the project. Sometimes, all it really takes is me finding a distraction to reset my mind/thoughts. Projects like this also give me pause as I am reminded of who I was when I got here, where I am today and how far I've come!
I make it a point to reach out to 10 + people every day....it's not as fun as random acts of kindness because I kind of have to plan, but it always makes me feel good when I am of service to others. While I was out of town, 3 of my gal pals were planting herbs and veggies and I was jealous as I love digging in the dirt and really love fresh, home-grown veggies and herbs! We do have tomatoes in the ground and have added blueberries this year so I'll just have to get herbs from my gal pals.
I was not a fan of my life and myself when I was in 'survival mode'. I like me way more today as I thrive instead. I so enjoy new things and living a grateful life, full of service to self and others. I don't know where I'd be without this program and all who lift me up and support me in it and beyond!
Happy Saturday to all - hope it was a great day!