Well, today, i stood to the original eviction notice and she, of course, pleaded and promised change and I just gently said, "no, I am sorry, but I am not doing this merry go round anymore...I wish you the best, honestly I do, but you must leave by Jun 3rd as per original eviction notice given to you 2 weeks ago"
she cried and argued and I just gently said "NOPE...No more chances....I need to take care of myself and this is not healthy for me"
she cried and yea, I felt badly for her, but for ONCE I put my needs and my serenity and my welfare FIRST
later, tonight when she came home, we had a nice chat...i told her that she has sooo many good points and that I was sorry things did not work out, but I must take care of me, i am older and I am going to have my serenity no matter the cost (she had said that I might regret this because of the rent money I am giving up) and I admitted that it was hard , giving up that income, but necessary for my health....Just going to trust in HP to carry me to another place where there is less stress
I told her that there were fun times we had and I wanted to part friends and remember only the good laughs we had and not focus on the negative....it was a good talk, I told her I didn't hate or resent her , nor did I think she was a bad person, just not a fit for me...
yes, there are consequences for our actions....She loses her home because of unwillingness to follow simple rules/boundaries and I give up the rent money by evicting her, but I think I walk away with a great lesson.....
I learned so MUCH about ME......GOOD stuff...Like I am not that angry, resentful, revengeful, hateful little ball of anger anymore....I saw goodness, patience, willingness to learn, kindness, honesty and openness and also good values in me....GOOD stuff....This experience, was a HUGE growth spurt for me...I saw my program really in action over this....and it was evident in our talk tonight..We actually laughed and shared some good stories together, we agreed to keep in touch, I told her i wanted to know she was doing OK and to drop me a text now and again letting me know she is happy and well....the lady is NOT bad spirited, she is NOT a rotten jerk, just major issues, I am not a psychiatrist, but I think her mom enabled her and just unleashed this untrained lady into the world with all these issues....she is a drama queen and I believe that chaos and drama "feed her" and i want no part of it....she has no clue about boundaries, but hopefully this experience taught her some good stuff....She did promise me she would get back, working on her Overeaters anon program and work her steps, et al,. I hope so...
as to will I roommate again??? NOT for a while, perhaps a LONG while...this experience wore me out, stresswise....but MAYBE another senior who is quiet and wants a nice little clean home to share and who has a clue about boundaries and is better trained.....NOT gonna think about that for a long time....I will just have to trust in HP for my financial support....I know he will provide...I WILL be ok....I AM OK
tiredtonite said
May 14, 2020
Wonderful share ((Rose))) This really shows the program in action for me. You sound at peace with your decision. I like the way you thought about and acknowledged your progress. People come into our life for a reason, a season or lifetime. With the help of our higher power, we figure out which. I also like your choice to give yourself alone time after she leaves and your willingness to have a connection with her based on your comfort. Keep taking good care of yourself. ((hugs)) TT
mamalioness said
May 14, 2020
hey ((((((TT)))))) Yea, i was pretty "OK" with me, she could not manipulate with tears and promises.....and OH YEA, when shes gone, i am going to get my guestroom back the way it SHOULD be and REST!!!!! NO roommates....not now, not for a long time, perhaps...AND IF I do , it will be a senior like me...but not even thinking about it now.....and I explained to roommate that HP brought us together for a very good reason....a lesson for both of us that we can "run with" and be blessed with or not...our choice....I learned so much about me I am really happy about that......so hows it going with you, my friend?????
this program is my miracle...I NEVER would have imagined how much I've healed and grown had I not had this roommate to illustrate for me...yea, I am not where I want to be, but I am a hell of a ways away from what I used to be......yaaaaaay PROGRAM and yaaaaaay to HP.....
Maresie888 said
May 14, 2020
I am sorry to.hear this did not work out.
I know the extra money made a huge difference to you.
I am not working right now for health reasons but I have a saving that will back me up. That is not a normal place for ne to be.
I have some time to breathe now but I have to have medical tests so I am grateful to have insurance.
mamalioness said
May 14, 2020
hey Maresie, I had to choose...her and the $$$ OR my serenity/sanity......Door #2 won....now THAT is recovery that I didn't used to embrace or trust.....I'll be OK..Hp will find a better path for me.....Just have to trust , (hard, but essential) I do hope your medical tests come out ok.....
Well, today, i stood to the original eviction notice and she, of course, pleaded and promised change and I just gently said, "no, I am sorry, but I am not doing this merry go round anymore...I wish you the best, honestly I do, but you must leave by Jun 3rd as per original eviction notice given to you 2 weeks ago"
she cried and argued and I just gently said "NOPE...No more chances....I need to take care of myself and this is not healthy for me"
she cried and yea, I felt badly for her, but for ONCE I put my needs and my serenity and my welfare FIRST
later, tonight when she came home, we had a nice chat...i told her that she has sooo many good points and that I was sorry things did not work out, but I must take care of me, i am older and I am going to have my serenity no matter the cost (she had said that I might regret this because of the rent money I am giving up) and I admitted that it was hard , giving up that income, but necessary for my health....Just going to trust in HP to carry me to another place where there is less stress
I told her that there were fun times we had and I wanted to part friends and remember only the good laughs we had and not focus on the negative....it was a good talk, I told her I didn't hate or resent her , nor did I think she was a bad person, just not a fit for me...
yes, there are consequences for our actions....She loses her home because of unwillingness to follow simple rules/boundaries and I give up the rent money by evicting her, but I think I walk away with a great lesson.....
I learned so MUCH about ME......GOOD stuff...Like I am not that angry, resentful, revengeful, hateful little ball of anger anymore....I saw goodness, patience, willingness to learn, kindness, honesty and openness and also good values in me....GOOD stuff....This experience, was a HUGE growth spurt for me...I saw my program really in action over this....and it was evident in our talk tonight..We actually laughed and shared some good stories together, we agreed to keep in touch, I told her i wanted to know she was doing OK and to drop me a text now and again letting me know she is happy and well....the lady is NOT bad spirited, she is NOT a rotten jerk, just major issues, I am not a psychiatrist, but I think her mom enabled her and just unleashed this untrained lady into the world with all these issues....she is a drama queen and I believe that chaos and drama "feed her" and i want no part of it....she has no clue about boundaries, but hopefully this experience taught her some good stuff....She did promise me she would get back, working on her Overeaters anon program and work her steps, et al,. I hope so...
as to will I roommate again??? NOT for a while, perhaps a LONG while...this experience wore me out, stresswise....but MAYBE another senior who is quiet and wants a nice little clean home to share and who has a clue about boundaries and is better trained.....NOT gonna think about that for a long time....I will just have to trust in HP for my financial support....I know he will provide...I WILL be ok....I AM OK
this program is my miracle...I NEVER would have imagined how much I've healed and grown had I not had this roommate to illustrate for me...yea, I am not where I want to be, but I am a hell of a ways away from what I used to be......yaaaaaay PROGRAM and yaaaaaay to HP.....