How many years ago was it now? 5 years... our local Alanon group was going well. I had become group rep.- the first time for me.
But then there was a movement around called "Girl Talk". And I know that people went to it. Probably not in accordance with Tradition 10. But that was not a worry for me. I had seen my mum struggle- and hard and she was my role model. And I favoured the changes I saw going on around me.
I would take my Hope For Today with me to meetings. It had the steps and traditions in the back.
I said, at one meeting that It would be good thread from Hope For Today, just once in a while.
I was told that I could not read from it- because it wasn't conference approved.
I did not want to cause a fuss- there and then. I said then maybe we should have a conscience meeting to discuss this.
I thought this was part of the role of a group rep. And part of the role of any member, actually.
Then I was told- that if I called a conscience meeting all the women would vote against me.
I know my Alanon well- and I know that they would be voting against the whole of Alanon as!
Our local group sunk without trace. I like it here because we read here- from ODAT, C2C and Hope for Today. Hurrah! ...
luv123 said
Apr 25, 2020
Yes David--I know what you mean about wanting healthy groups that follow the traditions that have made Al-anon healthy and lasting. That one probably did sink because it was NOT really Al-anon if it operated without respect for the traditions. I am so glad there seem to be more healthy meetings than unhealthy ones---but we all have to do our part, as you attempted to do.
I have found when we read from the traditions during a group conscience it really helps members understand the traditions in action & can sometimes help groups really grow in respect for them. Glad u found MIP. ---Luv
Bo said
Apr 25, 2020
I hear you David. Sometimes it's hard to have a healthy group...when the members of the group aren't healthy!!! So be it.
We have one gentlemen in one of our local groups, who, every month brings up having a group conscience. People ask, about what? He ends up giving some vague, ambiguous commentary about "the meeting" and "how the meeting flows" and that's about it. When asked if he wants to have a group conscience about the "structure" or "format" of the meeting, he says not necessarily. He never has a specific suggestion, recommendation, or proposal on which to have an actual group conscience and resulting vote on, so it never goes anywhere. Rather odd, but so be it. A group conscience can be very healthy...with healthy participants, when it has integrity in the process, and when it is done according to the alanon principles, guidelines, etc.
While I am sorry your meeting "sank" -- it probably had to sink so to speak. It sounds like the alanon principles were completely ignored and neglected. Without recognition, respect, honor, and more, of the alanon program, the principles, the guidelines, etc. -- then, IMO, my experience, that's not alanon. It's subjective alanon. It's selective alanon. It's pick and choose alanon. Simply put, it's not alanon.
We've seen meetings -- that meet in the same church -- both thrive, grow, succeed, and another meeting simply dies. The sum of the parts my friend, the sum of the parts.
DavidG said
Apr 25, 2020
Thanks, Luv, and Bo...
I am all for change, adaptation and evolution. Sometimes things just happen- about of a need- or a whim, sometimes. Our groups have a culture- and a tempo... in line with Alanon groups.
I learned a long time ago- that a word in the corridors, or towards the end of a meeting can be a gift from our higher power. A compromise between rigid routine and protocols- and I definitely think groups need routine and structure- but ESH is the glow in the sky that I look for! ...
DavidG said
Apr 25, 2020
I am no longer bright-eyed and busy-tailed any more- just starting out.
Being in this group- has bought out a lot of memories... ...and some of the old teachings may not have sunk in!
So I can look at the best of this information- and hold it in the cup of my hand. Treasure- precious... ...
I would have come along to this meeting anyway.
How many years ago was it now? 5 years... our local Alanon group was going well. I had become group rep.- the first time for me.
But then there was a movement around called "Girl Talk". And I know that people went to it. Probably not in accordance with Tradition 10. But that was not a worry for me. I had seen my mum struggle- and hard and she was my role model. And I favoured the changes I saw going on around me.
I would take my Hope For Today with me to meetings. It had the steps and traditions in the back.
I said, at one meeting that It would be good thread from Hope For Today, just once in a while.
I was told that I could not read from it- because it wasn't conference approved.
I did not want to cause a fuss- there and then. I said then maybe we should have a conscience meeting to discuss this.
I thought this was part of the role of a group rep. And part of the role of any member, actually.
Then I was told- that if I called a conscience meeting all the women would vote against me.
I know my Alanon well- and I know that they would be voting against the whole of Alanon as!
Our local group sunk without trace. I like it here because we read here- from ODAT, C2C and Hope for Today. Hurrah!
...
I have found when we read from the traditions during a group conscience it really helps members understand the traditions in action & can sometimes help groups really grow in respect for them. Glad u found MIP. ---Luv
We have one gentlemen in one of our local groups, who, every month brings up having a group conscience. People ask, about what? He ends up giving some vague, ambiguous commentary about "the meeting" and "how the meeting flows" and that's about it. When asked if he wants to have a group conscience about the "structure" or "format" of the meeting, he says not necessarily. He never has a specific suggestion, recommendation, or proposal on which to have an actual group conscience and resulting vote on, so it never goes anywhere. Rather odd, but so be it. A group conscience can be very healthy...with healthy participants, when it has integrity in the process, and when it is done according to the alanon principles, guidelines, etc.
While I am sorry your meeting "sank" -- it probably had to sink so to speak. It sounds like the alanon principles were completely ignored and neglected. Without recognition, respect, honor, and more, of the alanon program, the principles, the guidelines, etc. -- then, IMO, my experience, that's not alanon. It's subjective alanon. It's selective alanon. It's pick and choose alanon. Simply put, it's not alanon.
We've seen meetings -- that meet in the same church -- both thrive, grow, succeed, and another meeting simply dies. The sum of the parts my friend, the sum of the parts.
I am all for change, adaptation and evolution. Sometimes things just happen- about of a need- or a whim, sometimes. Our groups have a culture- and a tempo... in line with Alanon groups.
I learned a long time ago- that a word in the corridors, or towards the end of a meeting can be a gift from our higher power. A compromise between rigid routine and protocols- and I definitely think groups need routine and structure- but ESH is the glow in the sky that I look for!
...
Being in this group- has bought out a lot of memories... ...and some of the old teachings may not have sunk in!
So I can look at the best of this information- and hold it in the cup of my hand. Treasure- precious...
...