Accepting Change Is Not Something I'm Good At, But I'm Adapting
Wolfie55 said
Mar 20, 2020
There have been a lot of changes in the way we do things since the outbreak began. And not just here. It's a global thing. I know that. Up until yesterday, I was an Attendant in a home for men in recovery. Due to circumstances I have no control over, I don't have that job anymore. Certain things about that suck, and other things seem to be part of a plan that my higher power had for me all along. Income won't be a big problem. I live in Canada. We get paid for not having jobs as long as we lose them through no fault of our own. If things go my way, I'll have those checks until I'm 65 and if I haven't found something else by then, maybe I'll just retire. I remarked on social media earlier that all I have to do now is make the transtion back to where I was before this job interrupted me. One of those things I was doing was a meeting in my home (I been doing that in one form or another for 19 years) But, all the 12-step meetings in this city are closed now. That includes the one I was doing. Many of the groups switched to online formats. Mine did too. I'm not a big fan of change. But, I'm adapting. We have to during this crisis.
Sometimes I find solutions to problems in the strangest places. Things are never where you look, they're where you find them. Nancy, my wife, wakes up at 430 am to go do a shift at a seniors place. I wanted to cook her breakfast because my sponsor used to say if you want to express gratitude or let someone know you love them, don't tell them. Show them. it's 230 am now. If I go to bed now, i will sleep until well past noon. So, I am going to stay up and start cooking at 4 so that breakfast will be ready when she wakes up.
PS.......If anyone has ever read our story, you know the one I'm talking about, the story of our first date, the anniversary of that first date is this coming Monday. 22 years. But I digress. Everybody play safe and stay safe.
-- Edited by Wolfie55 on Friday 20th of March 2020 12:49:50 AM
Iamhere said
Mar 20, 2020
Hey Wolfie - great share....early congrats. for your upcoming anniversary! Super, super cool!
I have been processing my 'new or modified' normal all week. Beyond the changes that we are all experiencing because of the virus, I also lost my side-kick, my sweet, lovely and loving geriatric dog last Saturday. Working on acceptance and grief, and trying to be present and mindful, I am simply amazed at how many times a day I look for her, go to let her in/out, head towards the bowl for feeding, etc. Clearly, there are routines I have that are so automatic, it's difficult to modify.
I don't really dislike change - it's just so not easy when you're used to doing something, a certain way, every day/week/etc. I love that part of your adapting is to be of service to your wife - super cool! For me, finding a way to be of service helps me recenter and recognize how fortunate I really am. I've heard before that the only thing constant in life is change and as I age, seems to be true! Adapt away - at your pace, your way...that's my plan!
mamalioness said
Mar 20, 2020
Iamhere. I am sorry you lost your dog. I am still getting over my girl passing on in October. They are our children.
Wolfe. I love your attitude about the job and yeah if you can retire, I hope you can go for it and have a good life. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. Always glad to hear from you
Lyne said
Mar 21, 2020
Hi folks. This is such a great topic for me at this moment in time. I have a second home near my son. I'm leaving today as I do every Sat. to return to my primary residence with my A. I feel a profound sense of loss that I may not be allowed to go back and forth to check on things here. I don't know how to find out the "rules." Not doing well with all these changes. Lyne
Bo said
Mar 21, 2020
"Accepting Change Is Not Something I'm Good At, But I'm Adapting"
Progress...not perfection. And you're doing it!!! Very inspiring. Thank you!!!
Maresie888 said
Mar 24, 2020
Sorry to hear about the loss of your dog
I lost one of my jobs too. I had to scramble to get another. I live in the USA. Basically you are on your own here no safety net
Thank you for cooking breakfast for your wife. That was a really nice gesture
Maresie
Luv2Roam said
Mar 27, 2020
Nice post. You're a good husband. I'm new. My husband drinks too much...he has for last couple of years. But this past week he amped up his drinking to the point of staggering and falling and sleeping all day. Took him to ER today because he looked disoriented. Doctor said blood work was fine except for elevated liver enzymes which he said were not drastic. Husband looked so much better after getting IV fluids. He said he felt better. Dr told him to not drink excessively. I wish he would have told him to stop completely. I asked my husband to please go to rehab but he says 3-4 days of excessive drinking does not make him an alcoholic. He only promised to cut back so he won't get drunk. I'm praying hard. He apologized for letting me down and confided that the reason he drank so much this past week was because of stress and anxiety over coronavirus. He said its really spooked him. I'm spooked too but I'm not drinking! But anyway. I'm trying to be supportive. I know it wasn't easy for him to admit because he really doesn't like to show his weaknesses. He's the strong man in our relationship...and I didn't like the role reversal this past week. Please say a prayer for us. God bless.
tiredtonite said
Mar 27, 2020
Just wanted to welcome you Luv2roam. Sorry for what you're going through. It's hard enough with the virus but when you add dealing with someone's alcoholism it's a bit of a double whammy. I hope you'll keep coming back to share. There's help and hope with the Alanon program and fellowship. There are online Alanon meetings here at this site. If you'd like to attend one, the meeting days and times are listed in the second "sticky" post from the top on this board or to the far left on the red banner "Meeting/Chat Room Info." Especially at this time when many of us can't get to in person Alanon meetings, these online meetings can help us feel less alone. A few other members here have also listed online meeting resources so there are a variety of choices :)
If you are entirely new to Alanon, there's great information at the official Alanon website. You'll also be able to find location information for in person Alanon meetings.
https://al-anon.org/
Take good care of yourself and keep coming back for support. ((hugs))) TT
There have been a lot of changes in the way we do things since the outbreak began. And not just here. It's a global thing. I know that. Up until yesterday, I was an Attendant in a home for men in recovery. Due to circumstances I have no control over, I don't have that job anymore. Certain things about that suck, and other things seem to be part of a plan that my higher power had for me all along. Income won't be a big problem. I live in Canada. We get paid for not having jobs as long as we lose them through no fault of our own. If things go my way, I'll have those checks until I'm 65 and if I haven't found something else by then, maybe I'll just retire. I remarked on social media earlier that all I have to do now is make the transtion back to where I was before this job interrupted me. One of those things I was doing was a meeting in my home (I been doing that in one form or another for 19 years) But, all the 12-step meetings in this city are closed now. That includes the one I was doing. Many of the groups switched to online formats. Mine did too. I'm not a big fan of change. But, I'm adapting. We have to during this crisis.
Sometimes I find solutions to problems in the strangest places. Things are never where you look, they're where you find them. Nancy, my wife, wakes up at 430 am to go do a shift at a seniors place. I wanted to cook her breakfast because my sponsor used to say if you want to express gratitude or let someone know you love them, don't tell them. Show them. it's 230 am now. If I go to bed now, i will sleep until well past noon. So, I am going to stay up and start cooking at 4 so that breakfast will be ready when she wakes up.
PS.......If anyone has ever read our story, you know the one I'm talking about, the story of our first date, the anniversary of that first date is this coming Monday. 22 years. But I digress. Everybody play safe and stay safe.
-- Edited by Wolfie55 on Friday 20th of March 2020 12:49:50 AM
I have been processing my 'new or modified' normal all week. Beyond the changes that we are all experiencing because of the virus, I also lost my side-kick, my sweet, lovely and loving geriatric dog last Saturday. Working on acceptance and grief, and trying to be present and mindful, I am simply amazed at how many times a day I look for her, go to let her in/out, head towards the bowl for feeding, etc. Clearly, there are routines I have that are so automatic, it's difficult to modify.
I don't really dislike change - it's just so not easy when you're used to doing something, a certain way, every day/week/etc. I love that part of your adapting is to be of service to your wife - super cool! For me, finding a way to be of service helps me recenter and recognize how fortunate I really am. I've heard before that the only thing constant in life is change and as I age, seems to be true! Adapt away - at your pace, your way...that's my plan!
Wolfe. I love your attitude about the job and yeah if you can retire, I hope you can go for it and have a good life. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. Always glad to hear from you
Progress...not perfection. And you're doing it!!! Very inspiring. Thank you!!!
Just wanted to welcome you Luv2roam. Sorry for what you're going through. It's hard enough with the virus but when you add dealing with someone's alcoholism it's a bit of a double whammy. I hope you'll keep coming back to share. There's help and hope with the Alanon program and fellowship. There are online Alanon meetings here at this site. If you'd like to attend one, the meeting days and times are listed in the second "sticky" post from the top on this board or to the far left on the red banner "Meeting/Chat Room Info." Especially at this time when many of us can't get to in person Alanon meetings, these online meetings can help us feel less alone. A few other members here have also listed online meeting resources so there are a variety of choices :)
If you are entirely new to Alanon, there's great information at the official Alanon website. You'll also be able to find location information for in person Alanon meetings.
https://al-anon.org/
Take good care of yourself and keep coming back for support. ((hugs))) TT