In my journey through the steps- 6 or 8 times... I have moved away from the black and white thinking of my family. "my way or the doorway!"
I am sure there are regular visitors here- in this forum. Newcomers come here and are received and supported.
I regard myself as a group member. I have always wanted to be a member here- and not a leader. Recognise a number of people as leaders- and support them all.
The Courage to Change reading for today contains a quote from Lao Tse. A week ago I saw a quote- in someone's posting- from Joel Osteen. I see this as consistent with Alanon policy and principals...
...although this forum is not registered with Alanon WSO, I see it as a good model of modern Alanon policy and principals. I see this as the third element of Step 12.
I don't see a great gulf between face to face meetings- and attending a meeting right here. Both have their place.
A see the development of a group conscience- especially since John passed away. I see us as building on the legacy that John left us.
This is our new year...
...a great time to move forwards, and grow... ...
canadianguy said
Jan 3, 2020
Well said David....
I concur wholly with your comments.... We are not perfect, but we ARE very functional.....
I don't think we need to tweak all that much, if anything..... We are a prime example of life itself..... we are "grey", as in....
Some want the world to be black & white, therefore we need to be boxed into specifics, rules, and follow strict guidelines....
In my 59+ years of experience, the world is seldom 'black & white', and in fact, is most often grey, so there are very few de facto absolute right answers. Healthy debate is never a bad thing, as long as we are all keeping in mind our #1 focus - learning, growth, and recovery for ourselves.
Supportive environment, with no definitive right or wrong options, and open discussion on a wide variety of subjects - works for me!
Hugs
Tom
PosiesandPuppies said
Jan 4, 2020
Thank you David and Tom for your shares on this topic!
I have been to many F2F meetings.
Some fit my personality, some did not. Some were the right time slot, some I never could get to. Some brought healing to the forefront, while others kept me in sadness.
What I do know, is that for ME. this forum... these wonderful people... are consistently here. I can consistently access this site. And while occasionally I did not agree with a post or poster, I have felt welcomed and supported.
I LOVE the color grey. And I have always lived with the knowledge that the world around me is not black & white... but various shades of grey. Because of the "no cross-talk" principle of F2F meetings, I find those meetings to be more on the "black & white" side of things... that is why I love this forum... shades of grey w/all the lovely variations of that color! It is also why I now consider this my "Home Group."
However, I feel it is very important when greeting a newcomer on this site to remind them of the "Take what you want and leave the rest" slogan - which I see many members do. Knowing this is what kept me here even in times where I thought (right or wrong) I was being told I wasn't working the program "correctly."
I wish I could've known John. But when people speak of him and what he has built here, I am connected.
I am looking forward to not only my progress in 2020, but the growth and progress of this site as well!
Please know that you all are loved and appreciated by me!
&
Bo said
Jan 4, 2020
Thanks David. Very good points, and thank you for sharing you thoughts, feelings, and insight.
In my journey through the steps- 6 or 8 times... I have moved away from the black and white thinking of my family. "my way or the doorway!"
I am sure there are regular visitors here- in this forum. Newcomers come here and are received and supported.
I regard myself as a group member. I have always wanted to be a member here- and not a leader. Recognise a number of people as leaders- and support them all.
The Courage to Change reading for today contains a quote from Lao Tse. A week ago I saw a quote- in someone's posting- from Joel Osteen. I see this as consistent with Alanon policy and principals...
...although this forum is not registered with Alanon WSO, I see it as a good model of modern Alanon policy and principals. I see this as the third element of Step 12.
I don't see a great gulf between face to face meetings- and attending a meeting right here. Both have their place.
A see the development of a group conscience- especially since John passed away. I see us as building on the legacy that John left us.
This is our new year...
...a great time to move forwards, and grow...
...
Well said David....
I concur wholly with your comments.... We are not perfect, but we ARE very functional.....
I don't think we need to tweak all that much, if anything..... We are a prime example of life itself..... we are "grey", as in....
Some want the world to be black & white, therefore we need to be boxed into specifics, rules, and follow strict guidelines....
In my 59+ years of experience, the world is seldom 'black & white', and in fact, is most often grey, so there are very few de facto absolute right answers. Healthy debate is never a bad thing, as long as we are all keeping in mind our #1 focus - learning, growth, and recovery for ourselves.
Supportive environment, with no definitive right or wrong options, and open discussion on a wide variety of subjects - works for me!
Hugs
Tom
Thank you David and Tom for your shares on this topic!
I have been to many F2F meetings.
Some fit my personality, some did not.
Some were the right time slot, some I never could get to.
Some brought healing to the forefront, while others kept me in sadness.
What I do know, is that for ME. this forum... these wonderful people... are consistently here. I can consistently access this site. And while occasionally I did not agree with a post or poster, I have felt welcomed and supported.
I LOVE the color grey. And I have always lived with the knowledge that the world around me is not black & white... but various shades of grey. Because of the "no cross-talk" principle of F2F meetings, I find those meetings to be more on the "black & white" side of things... that is why I love this forum... shades of grey w/all the lovely variations of that color! It is also why I now consider this my "Home Group."
However, I feel it is very important when greeting a newcomer on this site to remind them of the "Take what you want and leave the rest" slogan - which I see many members do. Knowing this is what kept me here even in times where I thought (right or wrong) I was being told I wasn't working the program "correctly."
I wish I could've known John. But when people speak of him and what he has built here, I am connected.
I am looking forward to not only my progress in 2020, but the growth and progress of this site as well!
Please know that you all are loved and appreciated by me!