This time I worked through Christmas and New Year- up on the mountain maintaining an old mining race- which is used, today, for irrigation.

     I know when to quit- unlike other times in my life. I am 68 now- and had a lifetime of strenuous work. I need to relax now; potter around and keep fit- and make the best of my remaining years.

I said "ramble" on my header here. I am chairing a F2F meeting next Monday- and i do want to demonstrate some good Alanon principals. There may be a visitor there- at they time of the year- summer holidays- ... ...or a newcomer, just maybe, weighed down with the festive season!

I see clearly where groups need structure. The rituals and routines of reading the steps, and the traditions help build trust. In my first ten years there was no sponsorship really. And we all seemed to sponsor each other within the group. Loads and loads of ESH!

I miss that in some ways. I recognise today that people need boundaries too. It is a balance.

In my country people do not have access to therapy nearly so much- as in the USA. So groups, here, may have to fill in some of that gap. Not with actual therapy, of course! But with ESH.

We are close here to our longest day. Our summer here has been wet and cold. Our neighbouring country- to the west of here- has been having record high temperatures- and bush fires.

We had a pre-Christmas get-together last night, since da. hubby and kids are going to the other grandparents for Christmas dinner...

I am suffering badly from the cold, at the moment. Some of it may be imaginary... since, as a kid, I suffered badly from neglect. But even imaginary pain is pain. I went out for a bike ride before; rode up the the roundabout at the end of the street, and rode back. It was just so cold. This time of the year, usually people are out swimming!!!

I thinks it important to measure carefully what is said in groups- depending on who is present. Too much ESH can be off-putting. But we do need to touch on our life experience too- so that we all identify.

This group here- is a really good template... a great example of what we can, and cannot do at meetings. This has been a preoccupation for me this year. In many of our homes the boundaries are unclear, constantly breached, or not even there. In this group, especially I might test a boundary- but very very gently. I watch what others do and say.

Last night our local choir went out to the book and bric a brac shop to sing Christmas carols. Two assistants, 3 shoppers, and a smattering of family supporters were there. But the point was the choir itself- and the bond we created with rehearsing. Our next gig will be on ANZAC day- which is our veterans day in Australia and NZ... but that is not until April.

I am of to the city later today- just for an overnighter. To check on my sheep and 2 lambs. And take a present to a tenant.

Just looking up at my header... ...I used to say that the trauma never takes a holiday. Right now I need to think about this- maybe the other way round. That a holiday break may help break the trauma. As it is there is much much less anxiety. I am able to live in the present- most of the time... ...and the anxiety I do have is helpful and fruitful- enables me to get things done... ...to remember things... ...to breathe... ...to be open and accepting to my higher power... ...to maintain contact with other people, regularly...

...and to write in to my Alanon family...

  Thanks for being here...  ...  ...  ...  ...  ...

Thank you David, for your share! Not rambling.....very interesting.  Personally, I think alanon is its own brand of therapy.....and in some ways better than any of the other type I have tipped my toe in over the years.  The principles, steps and others who walk our walk have helped me tremendously more than one on one dialogue.....or perhaps alanon has been the perfect companion and has moved me along quicker.

Anyway, thank you for another thoughtful and heartfelt share!

Ellen