Dear Rosie,

I am so, so sorry. There's nothing quite like the bond between a human and a loving animal. They are so pure.

((((rose)))) Sending loving comforting thoughts in your time of heartbreak. She was really lucky to have had such a loving human.

Oh my dear

Sending you comfort at this difficult time. This is your time to grieve. What love you describe!
Take care

I lost all my pets in the space of just over a year. I am so sorry for your loss. I still miss those pets I have one dog now and I am devoted to him Please take care of yourself through these hard times. Sometimes it is one minute at a time Maresie

(((rose))) I am so very sorry for your loss.

when our kitty was hit by a car, I let myself cry buckets. then something in me needed to write... like a letter to him, but partly to Higher Power.. thanking them BOTH for the happiness we brought to each other...

It was a comfort for me to hold the belief that Garfield had merely returned to the Creator for a space of joy, and I felt him purring in peace.


Take good care of yourself, keep reaching out... Love is still all around.. to your right and your left, above and below, inside and out... (((peace)))

So very, very sorry for your loss...may you find peace in knowing that any/all pain and suffering is now gone. RIP puppy!

Please let us know how you are doing Sending you much love and kindness My dog threw up yesterday and zi thought if you. There are some things he should not eat. He tends to gobble down his food because he was a rescue Like your dog he is doted on hand a n.v d foot by me!!! Your dogs never went without anything not for one second Maresie

((((((((((((Everyone!!!))))))))))))))))) ALL of you have made me "tear up" as I read this beautiful thread.........ohhhh I loved her with all my heart...I retired her favorite toy......today, I brought a donation to "habitat for animals" thrift shop and they let me do it in her name....so "Sipsie" has a gift to the animals.....things I know that the thrift shop could use to help other animals....My two youngsters and giving me so much love and cuddles and I can't even go to the restroom w/out them wanting to hug me as I sit on the "throne" ...I have to laugh...I shower and I see a black or a brown snout pushing the shower curtain aside to visit with me...Sipsie taught them all they know and they are both very good watchdogs for "kids" that are so young

I told the intake lady who accepted my donation that to have a bond like Sipsie and I had was the next thing to sitting in God's lap being hugged by the Creator...

She was a big gorgeous black lab and half pit bull...a beauty who LOVED to eat...I mean the only way you could turn that dog's stomache would be to move her own bowl behind her....and mention the word "biscuit" and she was all attention and happy...Even on her last day, paralyzed, she wanted her good bye biscuit, lying on the floor, unable to move her back legs anymore, she enjoyed her biscuit....She was protective of me but knew that if I let someone in my house, then they were "cool" she would go grab her latest toy that she hadn't ripped apart yet and "do a show and tell" with my guest

Bath and nail trimming time was a bit of a challenge...she just hated being bathed, but I would bribe her with a biscuit topped with her favorite peanut butter....nail trimming was even a more challenge....I would lie her down....rub her belly and tell her that "we got to do this" (once when I took her to groomer they clipped her nails really bad and she never forgot it) I was a better groomer, but she had that "thing" about her nails...She just never got over her hate for nail trimming.....Hell!! I could brush her teeth with her toothpaste (she LOVED Colgate: nothing else was acceptable) and I would put a bit of peroxide in it and of course the baking soda...really shines up their teeth....Pups had to learn to like Colgate because "the boss" was #1...anyway, I could brush her teeth and she would sit there with white foam all over, trying to lick me, but to do her nails, I had to really pull out the bribery

she was the BEST alarm clock...she would go to the edge of my bed and rub her snout on me and tail would be wagging, banging into the nite stand, for sure I was not going to sleep thru that...

until she had the first stroke, we would "do laps" around the yard....and OMG....if I went to goodwill??? She would be at the door, nosing through my bags, hunting for that new stuff toy which of course I would have...THREE stuffed toys for her and my two other fur kids....Tuesdays is senior day, 25% off and she KNEW when I was going to GW and when it was just a boring jaunt to the grocery....

she always slept near me...on her favorite beach towel, next to the couch if I was there or next to my bed, and of course she wanted her favorite beach towel...the big fluffy blue one...she loved that towel....i retired it...

Before I "helped her go home" I clipped her nails and it made me cry because she did not fight me...she didn't have the energy to....and I clipped some of her wavy, black shiny fur, retired her collar and put the fur, collar and nails in a big baggy and I keep it in my special dresser....


To ((Jerry)) thank you for your gentle kindness, brother and yes..I did big time surrender to my HP because HP gave me this lovely gift, and it was the right thing to give her back so she no longer would suffer...I do try to give peace and comfort, and now, this lovely thread with all of you is my peace and comfort

to ((Temple)) Our bond was something that you see on the other side, it was that special..I loved her with all my heart..Will never 100% get over her, but I can and will move on to rescue more lovelies when my heart stops bleeding

to ((a41)) I was the lucky one to have her...She made me a better, healthier person...

to ((Betty)) That poor officer, I must have freaked him out as I just did a thermal meltdown...I bent over and not only cried as she struggled in her cage, wanting me, but I screamed...howled....he told me that he finally had to take her so he could sedate her for her euthanasia and he hated to leave me but if he did not, he would cry....

to ((Jill)) Yes, indeed!!! I am not isolating, but I am resting, being with my grief, my feelings , you are so right about that..Instead of "busyness" which some I did, I also cried as needed and rested as needed...

to ((TT)) the ONE thing I can take comfort in is that she had a great life with me..I rescued her as a puppy, only owner..her only house was this, I spoiled her rotten and had no shame about it...

to ((PNP))Sipsie and Gidget are together now in the happy place, cheering us on in OUR recovery and glad that we are sharing our journey together...RIP, Gidget...We will see them again

to ((Maresie)) OMG..so sorry you lost your babies in such a short span of time..Bless your heart...sending you comfort hugs..and I can only imagine the fear you felt when your baby threw up..sending peace and love to you and your baby

to ((2HP)) so sorry about your kitty..deaths that are unexpected are the worst...I absolutely LOVE your idea of writing the letter.....

to ((Iamhere)) thank you for your kind words..I , in my time of sobbing, said "I WANT HER BACK" but then I caught myself and said to my HP, that I was glad I could NOT have her back: suffering, unable to walk and play, I have learned that sometimes the greatest demonstration of true love is to know when to give them back to Creator..


I just had to list you lovely spirits ALL by name because of the deep gratitude I have for your support and love during my time of grief...I was browsing in the thrift shop after I donated Sipsie's love gift and I saw this toy I KNEW she would love...I had to deep breath so as to not cry in the place...I made an appointment with myself to cry later as needed when we got home...

I am very very touched by all of you!! I wish "fat girl" could see how many people stopped by our thread to give her and me some love....My two other children are crashed out on this big pink beach towel I got for them...I am soooo grateful that I have these two youngsters whom Sipsie helped me raise.....

Dear, Dear Rosie,

Thank you for the lovely stories about your Sipsie. She was special, all right.

Hugs,
Temple

I was.not worried when my dog threw up. He eats too.fast. I am so glad you have wonderful memories of your dog I only one.ine.dog now (he is over.a.hundred.pounds) my life.revolves around him and his needs. Maresie

Dear Maresie...glad he just ate too fast....I only have 2 now and I think I'll keep it at that and do volunteering at the shelter.....and yep...my life revolves around my fur children.....

You know?? ((Temple)),

she KNEW...she knew her time was close, like about a few months ago because that is when she began to "turn the reins over to the puppies" when it came to who slept closest to me....she never stopped being the brave guard dog that she was, and still was up to a game of "tug o war" with an old torn toy that she ruined, LOL, but she was detaching, distancing, preparing us all to let her go...More and more she would sleep by my bed on her favorite towel till she thought I was ready for sleep , then she would give up her spot to one of the younger ones and she would go into the guest room....They know when its time to ease away, let go..its we humans that can't let go, but she eased me into it...less play...less following me into the restroom, less hogging the best sleeping spot next to me.....on her last day, I spent all my day, loving and comforting her, and I shared my anti-anxiety meds with her to keep her calm, and comfy...I think she was , too because she napped here and there , when I would visit her , her tail would thump against the bed she was next to in Guest room and she would rub her greying snout on me and do her little soft "i love you" grunt and she let me know how happy she was to have spent all her life with me.....

I can take comfort in that I spoiled her rotten and gave her a hell of a good life....I do a lot of the vet tech stuff on my pets because I researched on how to do stuff and I am good friends with my vet who taught me enough that I could be a real vet tech if I wanted to...I gave them all their booster shots, did their dental work and they have the beautiful teeth to show for it..I know how to remove plaque and tarter from them and did their dental cleanings as needed.......I kept their nails trimmed, even tho I had to bribe Sipsie because of the bad experience she had with groomer....I can reflect on her life and I know she was happy!!!

the only amends I may have owed her was giving in and letting her have too many biscuits and thus causing her to be not bad, but a bit overweight....now the puppies are my focus and they are doing a GREAT job helping me with my grief....I tell them that too........I'll get you some more vids on them when I feel better...Working Friday, so today and tomorrow its EASY DOES IT and luckily I work (2x per mo) for a lovely guy who treats me great!!!! It might feel good, getting out of the house and working....youngsters have each other and their toys to keep them occupied till I get home....

Wishing you ALL peace and love---

Thank you Rose for that beautiful look into Sipsie's world! So much of the emotion you have shared I can relate with!

Yesterday I was able to clear out "G's kitchen drawer, and I donated a few things (including goodies) to my co-worker who just adopted a PittieXLab pup. It did my heart good to do this... it felt like an honor given for my pooch... so I can really feel your emotion at donating at the thrift shop.

Sipsie had a wonderful life!

Glad you have your other two kids to give your love to!

&

(((((((((((((((((((PNP)))))))))))))))))))))) I swear!!! Sipsie was with me at the thrift shop and she was happy that I did that...Your Gidget was happy , too, with what you did...They truly watch over us, I believe and they want us to be happy....Sipsie taught these puppies well...I see her traits in them, especially lil miss pit bull as Sipsie was 1/2 lab 1/2 pit....she loved this puppy very very much to put up with her "roudy" s**t, jumping all over her, etc., trying to snatch her toys, Sipsie was so patient with her...And the little black one.........their names are Sara and Sofie "Sofs" is the pittie.....I had to laugh..last night I was in mood for a bath and so I'm in the tub, soap all over me and THESE 2 , of course they gotta "help me with my shower/bath) they shove the curtain aside with their snouts and they want to lick the soap off my arms, legs, I had to close the curtain so as to get my bath done and they sat, patiently outside that curtain, noses pressed against it, waiting for me to come out.....

Well its been one week...my life fell apart, last Friday evening...I dunno if I did the right thing, but I watched our "good bye" videos tonight....I swear!!! my puppies could hear the vid and they HEARD her soft grunts as I stroked her fur and cuddled with her....I miss her sooooo bad, but I'm grateful I have these youngsters...when they heard the video, they watched the TV screen and listened to her sounds and they were kinda perplexed that they could not find her in the house.....they have settled down now, I took them outside and let them run, then I gave them a nice biscuit....so all is quiet now....SLOGAN: ONE DAY AT A TIME and also for me till I feel better (stress adn grief make me tired) EASY DOES IT

When my pets died the others did miss them terribly. Animals do grieve I did the best I could Right now I have to work more than I normally do because I have some expenses coming up. I am going to work it so I have at least bvb two days off a week. I am glad you have space and time to grieve your loss. I hope next year I will have more time to be with my dog. I am going to set up.some time to be focused on him Maresie

I hear ya Maresie, but I NEED more work and ya know?? I worry, just how much longer I WILL be able to work with growing older and PTSD/GAD draining me...I have time to grieve, but its forced upon me..yes, the first week, YES, but I NEED the $$ to take care of me better....ONE day a week , the "girls" can do w/out me...I'm doing short jaunts to gym, groceries, etc., to get them used to being the TWO, now, rulers of the roost.......

Keep on keeping on, Rose. The "S" sisters love and need you... they are some lucky pups!

Wishing you peace this weekend, and always.
***********************************************************************

(((((((((PNP))))))))))) oh yea, the shower/bath is a ritual now..Like the restroom...one time I shut the door to restroom and I am sitting and I see FOUR front feet...2 black...2 brown...under the door and I hear the squeeking and calling out to me, "OPEN the door" I finally gave in and let them in.....geeeez going to the loo is a lesson in keeping the head down, so they can't jump in my lap.....yea, the "good bye" vids, I am not going to watch again for another while...too sad...cleaned up the yard today and thought "gee, it seems I am cleaning her out of my life" first vacuuming the floors as I had to, sweeping up any remnents of her shedded fur, then the yard cleanup, washing the clothes I was last in when hugging her goodbye....I did retire her toy and her collar and I had some of her fur I clipped on good bye day, also her nails so I do have "some of her" in my big baggie in my dresser......there are days that I am sorta "ok" then I feel "pregnant" with this grief that is deeeeep into my spirit.....lost a job I loved....lost a friend I loved much more.....I am barely hanging on with this drastic loss of income and my beloved Sipsie gone.....and thank you for the "peace this weekend" wishes....I feel the same about you.....you have grown SO MUCH being here in Alanon....WOW!!! you're a living example of Alanon's powerful transformation of souls who really want recovery.....Keep up the fantastic work...You're an inspiration!!!!!! and hugs.....your friend!!!!

Some times in life it is really hard to get up and keep at it. I understand the issue of having a job that works for you. I had a job for 2 years that worked for me. Then the company folded out of the blue. There was not even a hint that was coming. Two or three jobs later here we are! Nevertheless with all we have survived we are resilient beings very very resilient beings. I try not to get too far ahead to the future because after all there are so many factors at play. Getting the right job is hard sometimes we have to have near misses along the way. I was talking to a friend last night about job searches talk about a marathon play! Right now I have more expenses coming down the line. I have to work more to deal with that. Where I work is not ideal and there are many many changes. Getting a job is tine consuming. Very very tine consuming. I have another part time job. I have to spend a couple of hours tomorrow to do with the onboarding. That is the just the tedious parts. Then there us the wait for the check (two to three weeks). I prefer to get paid weekly. Nevertheless I know that I am so far down the road from where I was. When I came I to al anon.I was in deep deep despair. I had nowhere to turn. I didnt even have an income at all. I was down to holding on by my finger nails. Finding the energy to push past those obstacles is so hard but it is possible. And we are all here cheering you on every step of the way. Nevertheless I know it is really worth it In a few months I will be past this temporary move out. I will be onto other goals better goals more rewarding goals. Getting some more work is just one of the obstacles you have. You have conquered so many insurmountable barriers. This is just another one along the way Maresie

(((((((Maresie)))))))))) you are one BRAVE and GRACIOUS lady!!!! and yea, I can relate to the "hanging on by my fingernails" , been there..done that....so far, I am Ok, like as "OK" as I can be, been doing some handylady stuff around the house...updated my guest restroom for real cheap, had most of the materials out in the garage (wood for molding, caulking, paints, etc) and so I've been just tidying up the house...LOTS of hugging and play with the pups as I know they miss her too, and also lots of meditating...trying to raise my vibrations....its all about connecting to the abundant part of me that is buried under all this fear, but I do hope to be past this "being in the hallway of life" soon....sending you positive energy and its a joy chatting back n forth with you.....you have so much to offer life.......

I have real time crunches with working more than one job. I am so relieved to ge out of the way of living in FEAR. I.most certainly.have apprehension. I am very grateful I.no longer rely on people who.are inherently unreliable. Repeating that pattern over and over is so decimating I am also of course working to.make sure I do not encounter problems Dodging them is like playing dodge ball. I start a new (albeit part time) job this week. The onboarding is super tedious and real difficult to fit in. I never really thought of doing dodge ball before I watched others do it. I felt I had to be like the bull in the china shop with everything bulldozed in front of me Now I.dont There are times still when I.want to go confront some alcoholic addict. The thoughts still cross my mind daily LOL. I still even now entertain them! Maresie

Hey Maresie, I hear ya about relying on people who are not reliable...I have this client, bless his heart, hes my ONLY remaining larger one, my now largest source of work income besides my SS which does NOT do anymore than the basic survival....anyway, he would cancel me, always as soon as he knew he had to, but it was a cancel , nonetheless and I had to reeeeely work my butt off to get his income taxes out the door on time.....I told him, I loved working for him, hes great to me, but I HAVE to have at LEAST 2x per month (as we had discussed) or, if I can't rely on that, i am gonna just have to see about signing up for temp work (with PTSD/GAD I could never work more then 2-3 half days max) but It told him if I go that route then I would have to give him notice as I would not be able to do his work anymore.....so he told me "no PLEASE don't leave me" and I said I did not want to, but I have GOT to have him and find ONE more weekly client to make this freelancing stuff work...other wise its part time with a regular job and I don't , honestly, know if I could keep up as I age and the PTSD tires me out more, it would be awful....I am doing meditations and visuals of my needs already met to keep the fear away and I'm not doing really badly, but I have my moments........

I have been that Road with asking people to give me a minimum. My rent is going to go up.not too dramatically but #up# I anticipate that will be by the end of the year I try to keep it down to one month or so.at a time. I know what it is to go low on funds. When I cancelled one of my.jobs because they didnt pay me in a timely manner my funds went low. I gave that company too many chances and it cost me I am certainly stressed by this situation but I keep the metaphor of swimming through it. I make contingency plans these days and one of them is not to exhaust myself Maresie

hey Maresie, I like the "contingency plans" yep...I always say if plan A doesn't work, best to have a #B AND #C.....one thing the offender taught me that was good.......BE PREPARED....like when you go out in your car, make sure you got your jumper cables, water, etc., as to the job thing, WHILE i had the big job, I did stuff for the car (2 tires, battery, brakes, filters, etc) while I had the money, also some stuff in the house...(new garage door as mine was thrashed, new clothes washer b4 mine totally bellied up , now the fridge, on the 18th Oct. because my 14 yr. old one was slowly giving out) didn't want to do the fridge with NO job yet, but they were on sale at lowes, and frigidair is a decent model, life expectency 12 years or so, if you keep it clean which I do......so yea, I try to think of contingencies and be prepared as much as I can.....that really is awful, not paying you in timely manner...I'm sure they wanted the WORK in a timely manner....best to walk away then to beat your head against the wall on unreliable people ...I'm working tomorrow, so I can pay down this CCard, electric company just debited it...trying to keep it low, using space heaters on low setting and so far its ok...electric blanket at night now that its getting colder.....its amazing...the stuff you take for granted when you got the $$ to spend...this will leave an indelible mark on me re: necessary spending vs just blowing money, however that said, I DO deserve some "wants" but right now, I guess I will have to be content with my videos vast library of movies and docus to watch, working out at home when I don't feel like going to gym.......I'm doing visuals and affirms for more income.....Hope your rent doesn't go up bad....

Right now I am putting in the effort. I start s new part time.job. This job.is just to.tide me over through the move Long term I have other plans Certainly I lived on nothing for years after I left the now exA We can all live on nothing for a while. I had a hard time after I left that one job because they would not pay me on time. I thought the transition would be easier Then there are always Bill's that come out of nowhere My rent is not going up thst much Some if my former co workers has rent increases that were 100% I have major health issues that are not being addressed right now Every day is a challenge. These days I am working towards making my life easier. I hope I luck out and get a job with a decent supervisor. For the next month or so.I have to put up with the alcoholic supervisor I am not happy about that. Next week I have to commute to a job that is further than I.want yo go.as well. Right now I.do not have a balance. Maybe it will be bect year before I.find one Maresie

Hey Maresie, I hear ya about stuff coming out of nowhere and stuff/expenses going up....my health issue is the PTSD and GAD which exhaust me when I do too much "mental stuff" psysically, I can go all day, but mental stimulation?? I can only do so much, then I must shut down and rest.....I am considering finding a PT job, but the ones I am finding want more than I can give and the money stinks...I get enough "peopling" working 2-6 hr days..thats my MAX....and I know what you mean on living on nothing because thats where I am at...My largest client is as responsible as a 5 year old...I go in on Fri, looking to make my electric bill and the groceries I bought and he didn't have my work for me...I show up..spend an hour and I left...nothing to do other than update the 3rd Q payroll entries.....I was P***ed to say the least...I told him that this isn't going to work for me...and trust me, he is not going to find anyone who did the good job I did and put up with all the last minutes changes, his being late on everything, sloppiness with this paper work....so essentially I got NOBODY but Soc. Security and that is just not enough...no way....luckily I am frugal and I have not had to dip into my savings, but I am so sick of this....and I, too, do NOT have any balance in my life....I am going to just work on my step 4, inner child work and literally WALK AWAY from this livelihood search...the stress is making me sick........hopefully our karma will get better.....Cheers!!!