Can you relate to the place you find yourself in recovery when things go pretty well and you feel strong, but that nagging unsettled feeling persists? You do all of the program things, gratitude list, serenity prayer, but thats feeling sits like a monkey on your back? You dont even know what to call it, but its there. Im knowing that feeling tonight. Maybe its a reminder the disease never stops giving to those effected, maybe im just in a bad mood? I dont know, but maybe I dont have to. Maybe its hps plan and I just have to just sit with it. Maybe im okay even with a feeling that isnt comfortable for a small while. Maybe its a lot of feelings I havent allowed myself to feel that are protruding like a bump on the surface. Maybe im just tired. Maybe its a sign I have finally had it with all of the bs and there is so much bs! Im likely responsible for half of it. All I know for sure is, I need to be here in the company of all of you who get it. This too shall pass.
Iamhere said
Oct 10, 2019
(((sunmustshine))) - All I know is that whenever I am restless, irritable or discontent, talking it out with another certainly helps bring me calm. It doesn't always bring me the black/white knowing of what's nagging at me, but it does help remind me that I am not alone, life is messy and yet I can still survive and thrive no matter what's going on! Your last sentence has been especially helpful and true in my experience - that This too shall pass, as it always does. Keep doing you and your program - as your name suggests, the sun must shine! (((Hugs)))
SerenityRUS said
Oct 10, 2019
I wanted to share that being in a "new phase" of healing can create those feelings too. It's different behavior and it feels weird not to go back to old behaviors. You are right as you create your new norm this too shall pass. Keep working your program!!!
2HP said
Oct 10, 2019
Yes! I recognize this as mind always becomes confused while attempting new habits, yet the job of the brain is to re"mind" us of stuff and so the old tapes still play. until we become aware.
for me, when "unmanageability" starts creeping in, I recognize it as the turning point. Then I have a decision to make, clear on what I need... more peace or more stress? I get to decide and am constantly choosing one or the other with my thoughts.
My ESH is reading up on STEP 3 because that always helps me live in the discomfort of not knowing outcomes. invites me to practice FAITH, -- the necessary ingredient if I want to be in a relationship with Spirit. Step 3 is living in confidence of my step 2 beliefs. and staying in the presence of a power GREATER than all the BS.
LOVE your title... "Knowing the Need"......perfect!!
-- Edited by 2HP on Thursday 10th of October 2019 10:03:02 AM
PosiesandPuppies said
Oct 11, 2019
Thank you for this post SMS, as the responses you received helped me!
I absolutely love 2HP's "...and staying in the presence of a power GREATER than all the BS."
Brilliant!
I hope that you have found tools to help you get back to serenity. Have a great weekend!
& :love:
Maresie888 said
Oct 12, 2019
Most of my life there have been huge places if unmet needs
Most of the time I.keep those clamped down
I dont think it is unreasonable to become aware of them
One of the reasons I.coukd not let myself know them was because zi had no idea how to meet them
Maresie
Yes! I recognize this as mind always becomes confused while attempting new habits, yet the job of the brain is to re"mind" us of stuff and so the old tapes still play. until we become aware.
for me, when "unmanageability" starts creeping in, I recognize it as the turning point. Then I have a decision to make, clear on what I need... more peace or more stress? I get to decide and am constantly choosing one or the other with my thoughts.
My ESH is reading up on STEP 3 because that always helps me live in the discomfort of not knowing outcomes. invites me to practice FAITH, -- the necessary ingredient if I want to be in a relationship with Spirit. Step 3 is living in confidence of my step 2 beliefs. and staying in the presence of a power GREATER than all the BS.
LOVE your title... "Knowing the Need"......perfect!!
-- Edited by 2HP on Thursday 10th of October 2019 10:03:02 AM
I absolutely love 2HP's "...and staying in the presence of a power GREATER than all the BS."
Brilliant!
I hope that you have found tools to help you get back to serenity. Have a great weekend!