Al-Anon Family Group

HELLO Everyone!!! Its been a long time!!!

mamalioness said
Sep 9, 2019

Hi Everyone!!!

Wish I had good news on my part, but last week I lost 1/2 of my income , losing my largest client.

I am clinging to my program and my HP and a few trusted recovery mates and close family/friends , doing affirmations, yoga, casting burden to my HP within me, I'm doing it ALL to fight off the fear..

Working out, trying to take care of me while I do the steps 1, 2, and 3.

Went to Doctor on Friday and my heart rate was up and she had known I lost my job and she said that under the horrid circumstances, she expected me to be a disaster, but she said I was in excellent shape, 20 to 25 years younger than I really am so I can be grateful for that

TODAY I am OK and thats all I got..so literally its ODAT..Easy does it...KISS for my mantras among others..

Some of you I formed bonds with and I am so sorry, I just disappeare, but we knew this was coming a couple to 3 months before, so I began doing my advertising, preparing for the worst, hoping for the best, trying to keep the fear at bay, and when it came close and did happen (our closing up) I literally was in a fetal position, crying and wanting to just give up on my life...

I am doing these affirms night and day to CHANGE ME....CHANGE MY LIFE....My sub-conscious mind had been the enemy with beliefs that I am not good enough..don't deserve, failure, cursed with bad karma, etc., he literally programmed me to self destruct..I was , per law of attraction, bringing upon me negative karma

sooo, I am working night and day with affirmations (and its hard when you don't buy it, but they say repetition even to a non -believer will sink in) night and day I am doing affirms...even during my sleep to change my mind and change my life

I do see SOME areas of progress..I'm not as hard/critical to me..When critical voice rears her ugly head, i tell her to SHUT UP or prove to me...

the self saboteur who likes to cause an accident out of NOT paying attention/being mindful has to stand still and pause and breath till she is willing to slow down and pay attention...

I used to think there was his horrid diety in the sky with this white robe, a saber at his side and a long beard just WAITING for the chance to sabotage/Squash me.....OR, a figure in a red suit with a huge pitchfork, just WAITING on the OTHER end to thrash my efforts to bring good and plenty to me

NOW I see that the enemy is not those 2 figures, but it has been ME!!! Shock theatre!!! When I reeeeeely accepted this and , yea, saw it as true, I had to grieve that...and it was hard..I sat on my couch and I wept...that I, me, Rosie was my OWN worst enemy.

So the affirmations to change me/ change my karma..I started these things on Aug 17th...It may take some time to re-program a mind that was shattered and destroyed by evil, but oh well, I think constant hearing these audios that I made in MY VOICE listening to them while asleep, they can get by the barriers that my sub-c mind has and these truths about me can seep into the sub-conscious mind that is power w/out direction...it only manefests what it has been fed and programmed to think.... so repetition is my key!!!!

OK..that out of the way, I hope all of you are doing fine and finding hope and progress in these great 12 steps forums...

OH YES!!! I DO have some great news!!!!!

Thanks to al-anon seeping into my brain, I FINALLY came to love and forgive my alcoholic mother for being drunk and letting me down, not protecting me from the beast, and now I see her as his victim too..How could she save me when she could not even save herself???? I actually remember the GOOD and the LOVE we shared together..I know she loved me dearly..she was just sick..he broke her, drove her to drink her sorrows away and she became addicted, probably not long after I was born...So I hear, anyway...What she did to me (not protecting me, neglecting me to the drink) was WRONG!!! yes, she was WRONG!!! But she was not evil..I am sure in her private times , reflecting, because she was instrinsicly honest, I am sure she grieved over her horrid neglect of her own children..I know she suffered for her sins and as far as I am concerned, I forgave her, yes, she was wrong, but not willful evil like he was..She paid for her mistake of marrying him with her life..I can now think and reflect upon her with love and compassion...

AND because of that, I have softened..I am more willing to "look through the other person's telescope of life" and not jump to judgement..

So yea, its been a horrible last 2 years, really, with loss of my job the "topper" so life HAS to get better..These affirms that I made in my own voice I have them almost memorized...and I , when I am listening, I say "YEP, THAT is the truth about me"

Anyway, I just wanted to stop by and say hello to my "other home" and wish all of you continued progress and hope and healthy love of self...

Thanks for reading me

Rosie

Bo said
Sep 9, 2019

Hi Rosie!!!

hotrod said
Sep 10, 2019

((HI )Rose )))) missed you. Glad to hear that you t are using your tools - Always remember that HP is with you

PosiesandPuppies said
Sep 10, 2019

Hi Rose! So glad to see you back on these boards!!

Yes, you are having it rough. Understatement of the year!
BUT...

Your doctor said you are 20-25 years younger than your chronological age!! That is freakin' AMAZING!!!
I am experiencing both my parents declining at an incredible rate (almost lost my father a couple months ago) and to be in that good of health is truly a blessing!!

You are working the affirmations... good job! I have heard it told that you attract what you put out. Not sure if I am a true believer yet, but I have had some instances that have convinced me to keep working in that positive direction!

You made a great leap forward with the forgiveness of your mother... amazing work on you!!

Maresie888 said
Sep 10, 2019

So sorry you lost your job. I have been at job recently where the payroll is immensely messed up.so I know there is tremendous demand for your services You are an incredibly resourceful person and I have faith in you Loss is a big one for us August was a tough month for me multiple triggers I am back to focusing on self care It is an incredible achievement you are in great ohysucal.shaoe. Remember your achievements and how resourceful you are You are a great onspiration.for many of is Maresie

mamalioness said
Sep 10, 2019

(((((((((((((((Betty, Bo, Posies and Maresie))))))))))))) Bless you all for welcoming me back...I literally had to cling to my sponsor/BFF who has been comforting me, also my program AND my HP within me....there were days, I would just cry and need to sleep all day....we knew we were going down, like in May but we kept hoping for that miracle that just did not happen...meantime i am getting my ads out but just haven't yet found suitable replacement...I tell me "I am OK today" and thats it..doing my yoga and meditations and affirmations help, along with the steps, slogans, anything that kept me from "what if'ing" and my critical inner voice saying "see I told you you were a loser, like your sire said" I tell her to either shut up for prove it to me...PROVE to me I am a loser, you can't because I am a success and I AM overcoming......

Bookkeepers, even certified ones like me are now a dime a dozen...too many of us, mostly not as good, but they are "out there" and businesses are less...i am older with GAD and PTSD so I can only do 2 days per week..then I get "peopled" out and have to have my quiet time..so yea, I am limited....But I just KNOW...there HAS to be, because I put out much better energy, an even better place for me.....one of my bosses opened a small pool cleaning service and i will do his books /taxes, etc., but they are still tiny, and with THEM on unemployment that I verified for them, yea, they need every penny they can make, so I most likely won't make any $$ of them for a while...but at least I get to keep the bossman and his wife (our off. mgr) in my life....and they are GREAT people..their oldest son works with them....

I cycle between grief, fear, anger at the unfairness of it all, then I get "sane" again, but life is fluid, never static, so I just keep putting out the best energy I can and say "THANK YOU HP for my prosperity now, as it is mine by divine right and it comes to me under grace and in perfect ways.."

I think, gratitude, (even said through my angry, gritted teeth) is positive energy and HP brings about more to be grateful for....I am finding love and support in the strangest places and its very appreciated....

I know I was AWOL from here for a LONG time, but My thoughts were with many of you whom I formed some bonds with....I know that sounds like BS, but it is the truth....I just, for a long time had zero petrol in my "emotional" tank to give, I had to just hunker down...get back to basics...make my life SIMPLE as can be...so much for food, this much for auto gas, got to keep electric under $100, and so on....I had to really KISS my life...and the stress and crying, grieving, I just crawled into a hole and had to grieve this out...AND other stuff that is another story, LOL

Maresie888 said
Sep 17, 2019

Hope you are holding up I have been struggling with my own issues with work Know it is uphill sometimes Some places are incredibly sticky Maresie

Jozie said
Sep 17, 2019

(((Rosie))))

Sending my Love your Way Little Lady... Glad you are Still Making it Happen with your Program, Sorry for your Struggles, but I know you are Strong Enough for what ever is Thrown your way, you've proved it time and again :)

Much Love, & Hugs

Jozie

mamalioness said
Sep 17, 2019

thank you Maresie...so nice of you to stop by and wish me well....Its literally step 3 and ODAT for me.....

and hey there (((((Jozie)))) hows it goin lady??? long time....Dunno if I am strong anymore, but I keep just going one day at a time...I hope life is kissing your prayers....GREAT to see you!!!! xoxo

Maresie888 said
Sep 17, 2019

Step 3 is a good metaphor for me. I am incredibly frustrated My naivete in thinking a new job would be better left me without a plan b. I dont want to be po pessimistic but when you hit.a disaster you start thinking why did I think it would be better? Now I am stuck waiting I am in far stronger place than I have been in the past but talk about stumble I keep thinking about what others share about kero swimming I feel like I.am dog paddling to nowhere I also feel like I.di not have enough time to breathe and recoup Normally the resentment would be crippling me but I.am trying to make it not personal I am really in a hard place so.I.relate. Know you have a lot of people willing you along Maresie

mamalioness said
Sep 17, 2019

((((((((((((((((((Maresie))))))))))))))) omg, can I ever relate to your post....WW!!! I feel stuck waiting in the hallway of life AGAIN, no bites on my ads, no referrals, ZERO...but here I am, and I am NOT stronger then I was when the last disaster hit, I am tired!!!! but I keep thinking that if I can TAKE my hands OFF, MAYBE universe/HP can bring about energy where I can get back on my feet.......and yea, I feel like I am dog paddling, kinda moving, but not moving......I really appreciate your post, here...It meant a lot to read your share, and I am sending YOU loving energy for your issue.....you know?? it is so weird...I always had trouble deep breathing, like I hold my breath...forget to breathe...

so I made up this "4 point" self care thingy to help me be mindful by breathing first..deep breathing and ASKING me "ok, what are you doing with your hands"??? so as to not do something mindless with my hands, like mis place another thing....Sometimes I have to narrate to me what I am doing...positive self talk..."good job---yea, you are doing it well"

then the 2nd point is I am WILLING and READY to cast this burden of fear onto my HP within and the universe and I am READY for my good and plenty NOW and it comes under grace and perfect ways...........and I visualize myself blowing out fear, lack, etc, and they are in these white bubbles, going out of me and into universe....good power in visuals, I hear..

point #3 I do the self talk , saying that I am WILLING and READY to treat me with loving kindness (not brutalizing me for every mistake---telling critical voice to shut up) and I do self talk to that affect, praising me for the good...and saying "ok, you had a slip, forgot so and so, but you DID eventually sort it out" just encouragement, rather than put downs and insults.....

and point #4, I am WILLING and READY to go with the flow and give life NON-resistance..........and BOY is it hard, but it really is KIS when I think of.it....and stuff will pop up to "fight and resist me" and I have to force me to step back..breathe...pause and maybe try another door/approach...but DON'T fight it head on....go around...come back later..or simply walk away...."how important is this???" has been in my language a lot lately......and it is helping when I can DO it, LOL

I made posters and pinned them all over the house and when I wake up and am going to bed, I deeeep breathe for a bit, scanning my body, then I breathe OUT in WHITE bubbles, the fear...lack...any resentments.....any negative energies I am harboring.......and I breathe IN the White light of the universe and breathing in the love and light of the universe.........it seems to raise my energy vibrations so MAYBE I'll , under the law of attraction, attract better circumstances....

I do hope this blessed you, ((((Maresie)))) in some way....It IS helping me, I do think....I am working for another client who promised me 2x per month and that will keep my head from sinking under water till I can add to my client base...just ONE more client....easy peasy for HP....dunno what is taking so long, but maybe it takes a bit of time finding the perfect client for me...I can only work 2x per week...with GAD and PTSD, I get tired when around people too much, I need my quiet time....but oh well...MAYBE i can save enough to retire SOME day!!! Social security, I can exist and thats about it........I am SO glad I took care of some things when I was working....new front doors for house...new garage door an opener, Car updates....did some stuff because this company going under, we knew it was coming so I began to take care of some things that needed care.....NOW , hopefully I can "coast" till my next new client comes.....

HUGS and good energy to you.....

Maresie888 said
Sep 23, 2019

I am not exactly under the wire But there are a lot of feelings for me in being treated with indifference. There are a record amount if you wage theft claims un the part of the country I live in. I can also cut back in fact I have made moves in that direction I am glad you are holding up For me it was my choice to leave I am.so glad I am at a point in my life where I am able to say #no# No wasn't possible for me most of my life I am glad to not be stewing in a place of bitterness I have many many limitations This weekend I got hit by allergies really really hard. I had to take time out to attend to those. I feel so much better as a result of that Please keep us all updated in how you.are doing Maresie

mamalioness said
Sep 26, 2019

I will , Maresie, so far NO bites for new job, but cleint #2 has kept me busy just enough so as to get by THIS month...and it is an ODAT.....and yea, I am, too, glad that I can say "NO" and stick to it...I've had some bites on my ad and they seemed "fishy" so I said "not interested" and one of them tried to pursue me/my services and I said to him, literally "what part of NO do you not understand???? your "offer" sounds fishy/not safe for me, so NO means NO" sometimes I have to wonder how people can be like that..there are these so called "clients" who want you to do "payroll from home" meaning you have to buy materials to do the job, print it out, and you get paid bi-weekly???? I dont' think so and they come out of the woodwork.....so yea, I know what I want..am CLEAR on my ad, and I tell people to "please READ the ad before you contact me" ...as to bitterness, resentment, etc???? I was FULL of that, but ya know ??? I "talk to my defects" as i am sending them back to their source.....I tell my defects that they arose out of necessity and that I am living in the TRUTH now, and "thank you for your services that were needed at the time, but i am living in the truth now and MY truth is peace, plenty, love and healthy self expression" so I nicely but firmly, with kindness tell my defects that they are members of my past, not my future and i am freeing myself of them now as I have moved on.....seems to be working, tho the self sabateur does rear its ugly head and I make the SS, stand still...don't move....keep hands still.....do that until it can behave and be a friend, not an enemy............seems to be working, slowwwwwwly!!!!!!! ...Thanks dear Maresie for your kind responses to me.........take care....

Wolfie55 said
Sep 28, 2019

All things considered, you seem to be doing all the right things. Nice to see you again, by the way.

PosiesandPuppies said
Sep 28, 2019

mamalioness wrote:
I will , Maresie, so far NO bites for new job, but cleint #2 has kept me busy just enough so as to get by THIS month...and it is an ODAT.....and yea, I am, too, glad that I can say "NO" and stick to it...I've had some bites on my ad and they seemed "fishy" so I said "not interested" and one of them tried to pursue me/my services and I said to him, literally "what part of NO do you not understand???? your "offer" sounds fishy/not safe for me, so NO means NO" sometimes I have to wonder how people can be like that..there are these so called "clients" who want you to do "payroll from home" meaning you have to buy materials to do the job, print it out, and you get paid bi-weekly???? I dont' think so and they come out of the woodwork.....so yea, I know what I want..am CLEAR on my ad, and I tell people to "please READ the ad before you contact me" ...as to bitterness, resentment, etc???? I was FULL of that, but ya know ??? I "talk to my defects" as i am sending them back to their source.....I tell my defects that they arose out of necessity and that I am living in the TRUTH now, and "thank you for your services that were needed at the time, but i am living in the truth now and MY truth is peace, plenty, love and healthy self expression" so I nicely but firmly, with kindness tell my defects that they are members of my past, not my future and i am freeing myself of them now as I have moved on.....seems to be working, tho the self sabateur does rear its ugly head and I make the SS, stand still...don't move....keep hands still.....do that until it can behave and be a friend, not an enemy............seems to be working, slowwwwwwly!!!!!!! ...Thanks dear Maresie for your kind responses to me.........take care....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rose, I know you were responding to Maresie here, but WOW! This post was huge for me... the way you worded how you now "talk" and deal with your "defects!" Color me IMPRESSED with your growth!! (Not sure what color that would be, but I am guessing GOLD! LOL!)
As Wolfie mentioned, you seem to be doing all the "right" things on the job level... good luck my friend, I hope something pops for you ASAP!!
Enjoy the weekend!
&

Temple said
Sep 28, 2019

Bless heart, Rosie--

I loved hearing about what your doctor said. Great going and amazing health and fitness!

And also about how you got your ducklings lined up ahead of time, so you'd be in the best shape fiscally when the time came. Smart, she was.

You are an inspiration, with your discipline and your positive actions, as well.

Hugs,
Temple

mamalioness said
Sep 30, 2019

Hey Wolfie, long time no see, good to see ya!!! ....Hows it goin mate????

and PnP so glad my post was a help to you....yea, "talking to" rather than fighting with my defects seems to be progressing..at least they are not as P***ed off at me, LOL...thanks for the well wishes......

and Temple, I just posted on your post...sending you lots of love and healing energy......PLEASE update us when you find out whats goin on with you, lady

thanks everybody for your love and support....GEE I missed you guys!!! I cycle in and out of depression (its hard to stay *up* all the time and i don't pretend) but I rest..take care of me...cutting back on junk/refined sugars is helping....self talk....did a "re-do" of my ad, life HAS to get better...I keep telling myself that...maybe soon, my sub-conscious will give up trying to sabotage me with old patterns of fear and lack and actually draw to me WHAT I DESERVE!!!!!!! lots of love and hugs to all of you supporting me in this horrid time!!! Working Wed. for my one of 2 remaining clients, doing his income taxes and its a doozy with all kinds of schedules...and NOT gonna think when its done, I go back to 2x per mo. work...just NOT gonna go there in fear zone...so meditating like crazy and doing body scans, feeling my breath, connecting with inner HP.....reaching out for support.....

I really appreciate all of you and your support.....HUGS...xoxo

Maresie888 said
Oct 1, 2019

I went for an interview recently. They offered me a job and rescinded the offer I.am glad that I can see the blessing in that It is the end of the year and there is lots of tax work. Why now offer to do incine tax returns. I meet so.many people who.do stuff like H& R Block The people who get the right deductions and the tax returns are those that go through small people like yourself. I have met two people now who.say oh I have this person who does it. They get the gold standard I spent years filling out all those forms a d going for interviews. It is extremely impressive you know what is a #no go# I can still believe anyone who.wants me is a good sign Now that I have left job #1 the supervisor at job #2 is being a real pain. So now it's back to job #3 and beefing my hours up there. Then it is working on balance enough hours to save some but not total work zombie land I know there is a demand for your services and the tax crunch will be here before we know it. Keep on being good to yourself. Balance is a way off for me yet but I am relieved to not be in frustration mode. I.am moving in the better place mode. I am about to trim off another bill too (the cable) Maresie

mamalioness said
Oct 2, 2019

(((((((((((Maresie)))))))))))))))) with GAD and PTSD (and I cannot mention THAT to a potential client) I can only do 1-2 days a week....so it is a limitation...a handicap of sorts, but up until recently, I never had trouble getting a new client when I lost one, but this past 2-3 years has been terrible....I hope there is still a demand for me...geeez I am getting really "down" can't figure out WHY none of my efforts are working....I'm trying to just "coast" and treat me good...I am in frustration mode, I cycle in and out of being either depressed or downright angry/resentful....have to "up" the meditations , calliing upon my Angels to come intervene...my HP within...been doing body scans as i cast the burdens out to the universe....so far the meditations help me relax, but ZERO bites on my ad and its a NICE ad......and I kicked the tv contract to the curb....I just have internet...I need it for business and also when I am home, bummed out, I get on and watch videos, download stuff, etc., so yea, internet stays, but gave up the TV subscription....GOOD for you...Taking care of you and doing the next right thing by you.............its so nice chatting with you....sending you BIG positive energy hugs.....

Maresie888 said
Oct 8, 2019

I am getting ready to give up.cable. That is a really big one I have had to work a lot of extra hours to.make up.for the cash flow issues associated with not being paid I have my own frustrations. I know it is really hard to keep on The company who employed ne us a major multi national company. They just didnt want to put in a lot of effort to fix their payroll. Or should I.say a li end the $$$ to update their payroll system Sometimes things come out of nowhere One day at a time is a good metaphor to live by I am hopeful for you. Remember tax time is coming. This is major detachment practice I have major PTSD issues major medical issues. Major issues all round I have always had major triggers at work Maresie

hotrod said
Oct 9, 2019

Dear Rosie Thanks for being here and sharing your remarkable recovery. Prayers continue for both you and Maresie

PosiesandPuppies said
Oct 9, 2019

Just stopped by to check on you... seems like things aren't happening fast enough. So I will double my prayer efforts... and now include Maresie as well! Hang in there you two!

mamalioness said
Oct 10, 2019

((((((((((((Betty)))))))))))) (((((((((((((((Posies)))))))))))))))) thank you ladies for praying for Maresie and me....Yea, I worked JUST enough this month to keep from drowning...thanks to this HUGE tax return i am doing for my now largest client (only got 3 left and one is so tiny, I won't see them till year end) but anyway, just gotta keep casting burdens,....I watched a Hindu teacher talking about WHY affirms don't work for so many people...they say the WORDS, but they are not seeing themselves THERE, in the desired situation, and lastly, they are not feeling the JOY of being there....ALL 3 have to work together, so needless to say, I am changing my affirms....SO far, i am not drowning...hanging in there............(((((Maresie)))))), My prayers and my deepest positive energy goin out to you too, girl...we just GOT to be OK....why???? WE DESERVE IT!!!!!!

Maresie888 said
Oct 12, 2019

I an getting ready to give up the cable So I.gave up one job.wgere they were not paying me. My.main income comes from.a job where the main supervisor is a raging alcoholic Whoops Well I have come a long way from being paralyzed by depression. Let's not forget I left the now ex alcoholic when I.was unemployed and really seriously depressed Where there is a will there is a way Setting limits us such tricky work. Sometimes we have to stick it out in icky.stiations. i cannot say I.ever got much support in therapy for work situations. That us because I.coukd not own t he triggers Limit setting is so so tricky. I.have walked out on.certain jobs before or sabotaged my way out of them. I just did not know how to work through the triggers I know for me I can certainky live on very very little. I have plenty of practice at doing that. I lived without a TV for years These tines are when we have to practice those al.anon.skills to the hilt. What a great opportunity I.would never have thought when I.came to these rooms I.coukd be happy being single. I.most certainly am i.no longer have that cavernous sense of loneliness. I know there are places where I.belong. This place is one of them Much love yo you in our mutial.swimmimg through these challenging times Maresie

mamalioness said
Oct 12, 2019

((((((((((((((Maresie)))))))))))))))))))) I am practiced on living with very little..the deprivation of my FOO taught me that, but I am no longer content or satisfied that this is "OK" I must be losing my shame, blaming ME for my being victimized by family and then marrying toxic or emotionally unavailable men (alcoholism) NOW I want my birthright to plenty and love and peace...I just have to keep working my program, doing my affirms with SEEING myself in my desired place and FEELING the emotions of joy/gratitude that my good has come...I think, like you, I sabotaged myself alot, deep in my subconscious mind, like I had this sick need to "punish" ME for my FOO and THEIR bad actions on a child...I have carried that shame and self hate long enough...Time for me to give myself what I deserve....You too, Maresie....we BOTH...EVERYONE here deserves to have their needs and even reasonable wants met....I do believe that it is our birthright................and much love and hugs and I am here , any time you need to talk (((((((Maresie))))))))) Please don't give up on you...You are SO worth all your dreams coming true.....

Maresie888 said
Oct 13, 2019

Thank you for the good wishes I have some unexpected expenses coming up next year so I have to save for them I am in a dark better space than ever. Nevertheless life is a challenge For me these days these challenges are blips rather than full scale disasters. I manage to mitigate them. Around an alcoholic or an addict there is no opportunity to do thst because we are completely powerless over them I am so relieved not to be in that space anymore cleaning up.simeone else's mess Now these are my issues. Not someone else's issues that got dumped on me I have the skills and tools to deal with them I am by no means in crisis mode I.am done with the crisis mode bks crisis belongs in the past. Now I have issues and problems but some problems are good ones. I look.forward to having the kind of problems that come with good times!!! This time of year is somewhat busy for me which is a challenge. Nevertheless there is a great incentive to swim through it I am so grateful I found al.anon.and Met so many people who are supportive and kind as you are. I could certainly do with being more frugal. The end of the year comes with certain bills that are a stretch to pay. These days I only have my bills to pay not anyone else's. That is enough Thank you for all your love. Maresie

mamalioness said
Oct 14, 2019

(((((((((((Maresie))))))))))))))) You are such a brave one and also so positive in when you say "blips rather than full scale disasters" and you manage "to mitigate them" Love the attitude...and yea, I know what you mean being with an alcoholic and being completely powerless over them and the messes/disasters they bring into our space....I am more at peace being by myself, tho its tough managing a house on my own, I am becoming quite the DIY'r in that I recaulked my kitchen sink area and am going to retile my restroom floors and put new trim on the bottom....today I was outside caulking and inspecting do I have any bad wood for when I can save up for a good paint job, my little handyman skipped too many places and so i am gonna get a "real" carpenter/painter...minimal wood damage but need new paint so I, too, am saving my money to keep this place up....and I, too am "done with the crisis mode" I have to first....breathe....back off and take a step back when a "hit" comes at me....what options do I have and what is the best thing I can do.....I am grateful for this MIP community and this board, made some friends here and get nice support....my end of year, I have to prep for home/car insurance..that is my big hit..but oh well, i will put on credit card and pay it down.....i am very frugal, so will take care of it and who knows, maybe I'll have a nice new client to add to my week and worries will be over...........and YES....MY bills...NOT sharing with someone (AH #1) who wouldn't even work a lot of times......soooo glad I am done with that.................and I thank YOU for YOUR love and support...We are gonna overcome BIG time because we have the right approach to life now...yea, I get panicky when I am not in control, may never completely get over that, but I'm doing better........progress not perfection......You take care and I love chatting with you....HUGS

Maresie888 said
Oct 15, 2019

I am so glad you.are.keeping us up to.dare with your progress In the next few weeks I get to work far less for the alcoholic supervisor I.am doing so much better around alcoholucs/addicts today than I have in the past. One strategy being to minimize dealing with them. Their lives are always so chaotic. I have had a few lifetimes of chaos Pacing.myself is so key The holidays are a big one for so many.of us. They used to be catastrophic for me. Now they are manageable. That is progress. Going.from abysmal to manageable is a very tangible achievement Maresie

mamalioness said
Oct 23, 2019

Hey Maresie...GOOD choice "minimize dealing with them" and yea, A's have really a lot of self made, of course, chaos and drama in their lives...I do all I can to avoid both...I want peace at any price.....for me holidays are just another day, etc.....

I MAY do the books/taxes, from home for a good friend who is out of state....keeping expectations low, but I am going to send him a copy of my old quickbooks that is still good for companies with no payroll and that way we can "trade" portable versions back n forth over email as I do his books and make adjusting/correcting entries in prepping for 2019 income taxes...he seems to want me to take over his books, so yaaay!!! won't be a lot of $$ but some is better than none and I feel I can take better care of him and for less then his cpa is doing......I'm just trying to move from my grief of losing that big job and checking out new opportunities and putting myself in good places to draw good energy....hang in there lady friend!!! You and I got program....That puts us ahead.....

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Al-Anon Family Group

HELLO Everyone!!! Its been a long time!!!

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