I know he has a disease, but the anger, mean behavior. It's so hard not to hate this person!
He says he no longer loves me, hates me, yada, yada
I just want to scream!!
SerenityRUS said
Jul 25, 2019
Welcome back Carla,
Are you still attending meetings and have you gotten a sponsor yet to start working the steps?
I heard a wonderful thing today from an alanon friend. Someone muttered to themselves, .. the program is the steps. I'm not working them. That got my friend motivated enough to start looking deeply into the steps. That's where it stops being about what the A is or isn't doing and starts being about what you are doing.
Are you working with a sponsor? Why not if you aren't, because the program is actual self work and it's a wonderful process.
Hugs S :)
PosiesandPuppies said
Jul 26, 2019
((((Carla))))
Welcome back. Serenity is so correct... the Steps are the Program... the Program helps keep you sane in an insane situation!
The Steps and my sponsor helped me to keep my focus on Me. They both helped me to QTIP (quite taking things personally). Something that was so hard for me, but essential to learn!
Wishing you some peace today!
bud said
Jul 26, 2019
((Carla))
In addition to the great posts... I remember when I was mired in the harsh and hurtful words he said. Working the steps and showing up for myself day after day, I can more easily focus on myself... when someone says harsh and hurtful words, I realize that I don't have to own them - they're not true just because someone says them - they're spoken because of someone else's issues... even when I was told I was no longer loved...
I hope this helps, keep coming back
Iamhere said
Jul 26, 2019
(((Carla))) - sending you tons of positive thoughts and energy! I too remember how sharp those words flew at me and how I too just felt like it was so unfair, unnecessary and hurtful. I too, like those above, found my worth and esteem through recovery. Today, I don't take things personally and have found healthier ways to process/respond - and often, the best response to insanity is no response at all. I am forever tied to preferring to be happy/serene over being right - and loved when I first heard that what others think/say about me is not my business and how others act/speak has no reflection on me, but rather on them.
Keep coming back - you are worth it!
bud said
Jul 26, 2019
IAH: LOVE this- the best response to insanity is no response at all
Are you still attending meetings and have you gotten a sponsor yet to start working the steps?
I heard a wonderful thing today from an alanon friend. Someone muttered to themselves, .. the program is the steps. I'm not working them. That got my friend motivated enough to start looking deeply into the steps. That's where it stops being about what the A is or isn't doing and starts being about what you are doing.
Are you working with a sponsor? Why not if you aren't, because the program is actual self work and it's a wonderful process.
Hugs S :)
Welcome back. Serenity is so correct... the Steps are the Program... the Program helps keep you sane in an insane situation!
The Steps and my sponsor helped me to keep my focus on Me. They both helped me to QTIP (quite taking things personally). Something that was so hard for me, but essential to learn!
Wishing you some peace today!
In addition to the great posts... I remember when I was mired in the harsh and hurtful words he said. Working the steps and showing up for myself day after day, I can more easily focus on myself... when someone says harsh and hurtful words, I realize that I don't have to own them - they're not true just because someone says them - they're spoken because of someone else's issues... even when I was told I was no longer loved...
I hope this helps, keep coming back
Keep coming back - you are worth it!