The reading for Monday, 7/22, discusses placing principles above personalities. The author says that each meeting can be an opportunity to practice this concept. We dont have to like the personalities of the people in our meetings, but we can remember that we all need each other in order to recover. Because we come together due to a common interest, a common belief, and a common goal, our meeting can be a resource for strength instead of a target for negative thinking.
Reminder: I will keep an open mind toward each person I encounter today. If I am ready to learn, anyone can be my teacher.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
My sponsor used to talk a lot about putting principles above personalities, but it took me awhile to fully understand how this was useful to me. Eventually I came to grasp the idea from my sponsor and the above writer. Now matter how someone comes into the room dressed, or how they speak, or even if I have core differences with them, we have all suffered from the effects of alcoholism. And in each person, if I listen closely, I see myself, and can hear new ways of coping and regaining health. Its all good, Lyne
hotrod said
Jul 22, 2019
Good MOrning Lyne I truly love this basic principle and use it in all my interactions in the world. I first identify my principles and then place them high in my mind and refuse to let gossip, judgement or criticism interfere
Thanks for your service
PosiesandPuppies said
Jul 22, 2019
Thank you Lyne for your service and your share. I am with Betty here... if you keep this principle in mind, then it is hard to allow judgement to enter your head!
As I age, I am finding there is much truth in this statement: "If I am ready to learn, anyone can be my teacher." Again, back to the ability to be open-hearted and willing!
Enjoy your Monday, MIP!
IamLynn said
Jul 22, 2019
This is a good one for me and took me back to my first F to F meetings when I was so worried that I would belong, that I wouldn't be judged, that my shares were acceptable, that other's at the meeting would accept me. This inward battle that I belonged was something I fought at each meeting before and after. Now that I am growing I now know that what I expect from others, I should expect from myself. Even if I don't feel accepted I can turn that around and accept others, listen and learn. Thanks.
El said
Jul 22, 2019
Thank you Lyne and MIP family.
At my home meeting, we have an occasional member who walks in late and then proceeds to rummage through a huge bag to get her crochet project going. I mean, this is a big disruption....lol...and I feel badly for who ever is speaking, because everyone is drawn to her fumbling. Arrggghhh, right? Well....when this woman speaks, her ESH is phenomenal. She has so much to offer! So while I may not like all the distraction she brings to the meeting, she is a valuable member, as we all are. We are different, our stories are different, yet we all similar in our unique situations. We are one.
Happy Monday! Heat wave has broken.....only up to 70 degrees today here.
Ellen
Aloha said
Jul 22, 2019
My sponsor mentions this tactic a lot, too. And I know I certainly benefit practicing it. For me, this takes me over to the "QTIP" acronym of "Quit Taking It Personal". When I focus on the subject at hand and drop all issues with personality conflicts, we can come together and discuss solutions about the actual issue instead of someone having to be right or better than the other, putting the issue secondary.
Iamhere said
Jul 22, 2019
Greetings MIP family! Thanks to all for the shares and ESH and thank you Lyne for your service and the daily. I have always loved that we come in at different times, with different stories and different issues yet can find common ground in our recovery! This tradition and the others help keep a group healthy and keep members who want to recover coming back.
My sponsor has really pushed me to listen to everyone with an open mind, focused on content vs. intent. Even those who I struggle to relate to at the basic level can and do teach me lots when I remain open. I use this all the time beyond recovery also - it does really work when we work it. I had to carry a Q-Tip in my pocket for almost 2 years (sponsor's suggestion) to learn that how other people act, speak, react, etc. is not about me - it's about them! Giving my positive attitude, joy, serenity, power away to another because they're having a bad day is no longer a part of my experience!
Happy Monday all - we golfed this Morning in lovely, moderate temperatures with low humidity - a gift in my part of the world for July! I'm headed out soon for great food and fellowship with my program taco team! It's a mix of AA and Al-Anon women and we do a meeting if one needs or we just roll with whatever topic comes up! I love Mondays!!! (((Hugs)))
DavidG said
Jul 22, 2019
Thanks, Lyne and group... ...
I heard about principles first- in relation to principles and practise. That is about having dreams and goals; and being able to test these with real life action. Also some teaching about principalities creeps in here- in the higher power arena. I heard about this- and much prefer to think about simple shame- than thinking about powers and principalities. ...
...so when it got down to personalities and principles- this was in the arena of the Alanon Traditions... and how these play out- in practise. I felt sometimes that some Alanon practises were temporary- and a means to an end. And that group wisdom, or group conscience, would take out the wrinkles. Sometimes this was about my own beliefs and attitudes. But being i the rooms with a group of healthy people helped me to take out these wrinkles. And to discern what was actual group business, and my own personal stuff.
This sums it up, really- for me. A freezing cold day here- and grey-grey-grey outside... going to go shopping soon.
canadianguy said
Jul 22, 2019
This one really resonates with me.... When I first entered the doors of Al-Anon, I was pretty full of myself (yes, even more than now, lol). I thought I knew better than those in the room, and I would (quietly and to myself) "solve" their problems while they were sharing..... My wise old sponsor called me on this issue, as it was certainly one where my arrogance, not to mention my façade of control - was getting in the way of MY recovery.
With time, I quickly realized that when I opened my mind and heart to it, I could learn from every single person in those meetings. Honestly didn't matter if they were "best friend material" or if their personality rubbed me the wrong way, and that truth still holds today, whether here on MIP, in Al-Anon meetings, and even in daily life..... If my mind, ears, and heart remain open - there is no telling of how much I might learn.
The reading for Monday, 7/22, discusses placing principles above personalities. The author says that each meeting can be an opportunity to practice this concept. We dont have to like the personalities of the people in our meetings, but we can remember that we all need each other in order to recover. Because we come together due to a common interest, a common belief, and a common goal, our meeting can be a resource for strength instead of a target for negative thinking.
Reminder: I will keep an open mind toward each person I encounter today. If I am ready to learn, anyone can be my teacher.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
My sponsor used to talk a lot about putting principles above personalities, but it took me awhile to fully understand how this was useful to me. Eventually I came to grasp the idea from my sponsor and the above writer. Now matter how someone comes into the room dressed, or how they speak, or even if I have core differences with them, we have all suffered from the effects of alcoholism. And in each person, if I listen closely, I see myself, and can hear new ways of coping and regaining health. Its all good, Lyne
Thanks for your service
As I age, I am finding there is much truth in this statement: "If I am ready to learn, anyone can be my teacher." Again, back to the ability to be open-hearted and willing!
Enjoy your Monday, MIP!
Thank you Lyne and MIP family.
At my home meeting, we have an occasional member who walks in late and then proceeds to rummage through a huge bag to get her crochet project going. I mean, this is a big disruption....lol...and I feel badly for who ever is speaking, because everyone is drawn to her fumbling. Arrggghhh, right? Well....when this woman speaks, her ESH is phenomenal. She has so much to offer! So while I may not like all the distraction she brings to the meeting, she is a valuable member, as we all are. We are different, our stories are different, yet we all similar in our unique situations. We are one.
Happy Monday! Heat wave has broken.....only up to 70 degrees today here.
Ellen
My sponsor has really pushed me to listen to everyone with an open mind, focused on content vs. intent. Even those who I struggle to relate to at the basic level can and do teach me lots when I remain open. I use this all the time beyond recovery also - it does really work when we work it. I had to carry a Q-Tip in my pocket for almost 2 years (sponsor's suggestion) to learn that how other people act, speak, react, etc. is not about me - it's about them! Giving my positive attitude, joy, serenity, power away to another because they're having a bad day is no longer a part of my experience!
Happy Monday all - we golfed this Morning in lovely, moderate temperatures with low humidity - a gift in my part of the world for July! I'm headed out soon for great food and fellowship with my program taco team! It's a mix of AA and Al-Anon women and we do a meeting if one needs or we just roll with whatever topic comes up! I love Mondays!!! (((Hugs)))
Thanks, Lyne and group...
...
I heard about principles first- in relation to principles and practise. That is about having dreams and goals; and being able to test these with real life action. Also some teaching about principalities creeps in here- in the higher power arena. I heard about this- and much prefer to think about simple shame- than thinking about powers and principalities.
...
...so when it got down to personalities and principles- this was in the arena of the Alanon Traditions... and how these play out- in practise. I felt sometimes that some Alanon practises were temporary- and a means to an end. And that group wisdom, or group conscience, would take out the wrinkles. Sometimes this was about my own beliefs and attitudes. But being i the rooms with a group of healthy people helped me to take out these wrinkles. And to discern what was actual group business, and my own personal stuff.
This sums it up, really- for me. A freezing cold day here- and grey-grey-grey outside... going to go shopping soon.
This one really resonates with me.... When I first entered the doors of Al-Anon, I was pretty full of myself (yes, even more than now, lol). I thought I knew better than those in the room, and I would (quietly and to myself) "solve" their problems while they were sharing..... My wise old sponsor called me on this issue, as it was certainly one where my arrogance, not to mention my façade of control - was getting in the way of MY recovery.
With time, I quickly realized that when I opened my mind and heart to it, I could learn from every single person in those meetings. Honestly didn't matter if they were "best friend material" or if their personality rubbed me the wrong way, and that truth still holds today, whether here on MIP, in Al-Anon meetings, and even in daily life..... If my mind, ears, and heart remain open - there is no telling of how much I might learn.
Thanks Lyne
Tom