I've been in a bit of a rut lately with service work in Alanon. Our program suggests rotation of service responsibilities so that no one person dominates a particular service position and others can then volunteer and continue to grow. I'm seeing how applying this principle to my own recovery is beneficial for my growth and progress. Although I don't tend to want to dominate any one service position, I do tend to pick and choose my preferences rather than volunteering where there is a need. I'm trying to change that.
This week I chose to once again lead beginners after not doing that for a long time. Basically, I'd gotten a bit lazy and hadn't wanted to give up my time to chair this additional meeting. We often talk about the rewards of Alanon service and this week again I found that to be so very true. Sponsoring one to one is a wonderful experience yet walking into a room of a handful of new people can bring with it so many opportunities to be an example of the program in action.
I can say with gratitude that I no longer live from crisis to crisis in the home. Next month, I'll celebrate my Alanon anniversary and am thankful for all of the help and hope that has been gifted me through others in the program and my higher power. I know today that it's not important that my service in Alanon is done in a way that meets the expectations of any other member in my group who has done it before me. It's important that I just take the risk to fill a service position, bring my own Alanon recovery and keep growing and progressing in my program. My tendency has been to either not want to fill positions that I don't particularly enjoy for whatever reason or avoid positions where others are tending to dominate, control and advise others filling those roles of the "right and wrong way" to perform that service. It isn't that I'm unable to confront politely but I have just gotten into the f' its and thought I'll keep my serenity rather than have a tug of war with you. Of course this actually ends up being a disservice to my group. Rotation is all positions add a little different flavor, perspective, personality to my meetings and I know that I need to be a part of that.
When chairing the beginners meeting, my greatest take away was simple. It was when a newcomer told me she was just glad that someone was here. I remember feeling the same when I walked into my first Alanon meeting. As a newcomer, to know that I now had somewhere to go where I could be welcomed and understood was so important. I was also doing service with another member. We have a different perspective concerning remembering the Traditions in an Alanon meeting. That's fine. Years ago, I believed if we presented anything incorrectly, gave an "wrong" impression, a newcomer might not return. Believing hp is at the center of all experiences, hp will be guiding the newcomer's decision not a perfected first meeting. Listening, presenting some basic information and a short version of what got me here and what Alanon has brought to my life seemed enough. My co chair shared her history and that was well received. The new people related as did I.
So right now I guess I'm focusing on "a changed attitude can aid recovery." I'm trying to take responsibility to be more a part of my groups in all areas on a rotating basis. This is important because it gives me more of an inclination to volunteer in other areas of my life and just take things as they come, situations, personalities, change in plan. I want to embrace all of this as opportunity and even a bit of an adventure in a way :)
Thanks for letting me share. TT
Aloha said
Jul 17, 2019
Love this. Thank you for sharing TT.
Service is definitely a huge part of my recovery. I'm grateful to have a sponsor who told me if I wanted to work with her, I needed to do service. She was more specific, too, in that it wasn't meaning occasionally put out chairs. She wanted me committing to something.
Of course what ended up happening was my first official service position ended up being GR for one of my groups. Talk about being thrown into service - attending district meetings, assemblies, etc. But it was something I needed to do. It built confidence in me, especially where my full-time job was concerned. And it also took my mind off the alcoholic and his problems.
I've since held an area web coordinator position, district secretary, and have held treasurer for several groups, as well as group secretary and ambassador.
You're right there are things I am far more comfortable doing than others. But in the end I just love giving back to my groups. And there's special camaraderie that occurs between myself and the other members who actively participate in group business meetings. It's sad others miss out because they somehow feel service isn't part of their recovery.
Last night we had a tradition meeting and we discussed Tradition 7. Service work definitely falls under having our groups being fully self-supporting. And I'm so grateful for those who do show up to make sure the doors are open, the rent is paid, the literature is available, etc. If none of that happened, then there wouldn't be any meetings and no place for me to go when I need help.
Freetime said
Jul 17, 2019
TT and Aloha, thank you for sharing -- and for your service! I too have found service an essential part of my recovery, and have gained much more than I have given.
Aloha, I am grateful for your perspective that a meeting does not have to be perfect for a newcomer to benefit from it. I often feel worried about the newcomer, that they might feel uncomfortable if there are a few moments of silence in the sharing part of the meeting. So when we have a newcomer, I sometimes share to fill the silence, even if I don't have much to say! I will work on remembering that the newcomer has their own higher power -- and it isn't me! And that "doing nothing" (silence) can be an important recovery tool.
From service, I have also learned about letting go. I have some great service roles now, and I've planned what I would like my next role to be when my current service term is over. But whenever I hear that there is a service role not being filled, I have to restrain myself from volunteering. If I take on all the jobs, I am stealing someone else's opportunity to reap the benefits of service, and I am also not letting natural consequences take their course. Sometimes a meeting might fold due to lack of service, but that is the cycle of life.
hotrod said
Jul 17, 2019
Great Topic TT . I have found that service in my alanon meting ceratinly does help me o grow and view program in a new light. Thanks foropeniong his topic
Hi Everyone,
I've been in a bit of a rut lately with service work in Alanon. Our program suggests rotation of service responsibilities so that no one person dominates a particular service position and others can then volunteer and continue to grow. I'm seeing how applying this principle to my own recovery is beneficial for my growth and progress. Although I don't tend to want to dominate any one service position, I do tend to pick and choose my preferences rather than volunteering where there is a need. I'm trying to change that.
This week I chose to once again lead beginners after not doing that for a long time. Basically, I'd gotten a bit lazy and hadn't wanted to give up my time to chair this additional meeting. We often talk about the rewards of Alanon service and this week again I found that to be so very true. Sponsoring one to one is a wonderful experience yet walking into a room of a handful of new people can bring with it so many opportunities to be an example of the program in action.
I can say with gratitude that I no longer live from crisis to crisis in the home. Next month, I'll celebrate my Alanon anniversary and am thankful for all of the help and hope that has been gifted me through others in the program and my higher power. I know today that it's not important that my service in Alanon is done in a way that meets the expectations of any other member in my group who has done it before me. It's important that I just take the risk to fill a service position, bring my own Alanon recovery and keep growing and progressing in my program. My tendency has been to either not want to fill positions that I don't particularly enjoy for whatever reason or avoid positions where others are tending to dominate, control and advise others filling those roles of the "right and wrong way" to perform that service. It isn't that I'm unable to confront politely but I have just gotten into the f' its and thought I'll keep my serenity rather than have a tug of war with you. Of course this actually ends up being a disservice to my group. Rotation is all positions add a little different flavor, perspective, personality to my meetings and I know that I need to be a part of that.
When chairing the beginners meeting, my greatest take away was simple. It was when a newcomer told me she was just glad that someone was here. I remember feeling the same when I walked into my first Alanon meeting. As a newcomer, to know that I now had somewhere to go where I could be welcomed and understood was so important. I was also doing service with another member. We have a different perspective concerning remembering the Traditions in an Alanon meeting. That's fine. Years ago, I believed if we presented anything incorrectly, gave an "wrong" impression, a newcomer might not return. Believing hp is at the center of all experiences, hp will be guiding the newcomer's decision not a perfected first meeting. Listening, presenting some basic information and a short version of what got me here and what Alanon has brought to my life seemed enough. My co chair shared her history and that was well received. The new people related as did I.
So right now I guess I'm focusing on "a changed attitude can aid recovery." I'm trying to take responsibility to be more a part of my groups in all areas on a rotating basis. This is important because it gives me more of an inclination to volunteer in other areas of my life and just take things as they come, situations, personalities, change in plan. I want to embrace all of this as opportunity and even a bit of an adventure in a way :)
Thanks for letting me share. TT
Service is definitely a huge part of my recovery. I'm grateful to have a sponsor who told me if I wanted to work with her, I needed to do service. She was more specific, too, in that it wasn't meaning occasionally put out chairs. She wanted me committing to something.
Of course what ended up happening was my first official service position ended up being GR for one of my groups. Talk about being thrown into service - attending district meetings, assemblies, etc. But it was something I needed to do. It built confidence in me, especially where my full-time job was concerned. And it also took my mind off the alcoholic and his problems.
I've since held an area web coordinator position, district secretary, and have held treasurer for several groups, as well as group secretary and ambassador.
You're right there are things I am far more comfortable doing than others. But in the end I just love giving back to my groups. And there's special camaraderie that occurs between myself and the other members who actively participate in group business meetings. It's sad others miss out because they somehow feel service isn't part of their recovery.
Last night we had a tradition meeting and we discussed Tradition 7. Service work definitely falls under having our groups being fully self-supporting. And I'm so grateful for those who do show up to make sure the doors are open, the rent is paid, the literature is available, etc. If none of that happened, then there wouldn't be any meetings and no place for me to go when I need help.
Aloha, I am grateful for your perspective that a meeting does not have to be perfect for a newcomer to benefit from it. I often feel worried about the newcomer, that they might feel uncomfortable if there are a few moments of silence in the sharing part of the meeting. So when we have a newcomer, I sometimes share to fill the silence, even if I don't have much to say! I will work on remembering that the newcomer has their own higher power -- and it isn't me! And that "doing nothing" (silence) can be an important recovery tool.
From service, I have also learned about letting go. I have some great service roles now, and I've planned what I would like my next role to be when my current service term is over. But whenever I hear that there is a service role not being filled, I have to restrain myself from volunteering. If I take on all the jobs, I am stealing someone else's opportunity to reap the benefits of service, and I am also not letting natural consequences take their course. Sometimes a meeting might fold due to lack of service, but that is the cycle of life.