Is there a length limit to a thread I start and can I insert a link to something?  Thought I'd ask first. 

Thank you, Aloha.  Sometimes to explain things, it takes a bit.

Hi Wildflower, just a suggestion, if you are planning a really long post, write it in a word processing program on your local computer first and save periodically, and then paste it into a MIP post. This way if there is a computer or network glitch while you are writing, you won't lose what you have typed so far.

Thanks, Freetime.  I actually have something really long already written.  I just need to adapt it for this venue and orientation.  And I think I need to shorten it, but I'm not sure by how much.

Thanks, hotrod.  I was thinking of linking to an article on my website.  I wrote the article.  It's about what the crimes my brother committed under the influence, did to our loving parent, his children, his wife, my sister and me.  It's fairly lengthy.  He murdered four of his neighbors, blaming them for his family leaving him after he threatened to kill his wife.

Actually I wrote a book about it too.  The book is free in digital format.  The message is more important than the money. 

Wow... heady stuff Wildflower, and tons of stuff to deal with for you and your family, I am sure.  Glad you have found us, and hope you keep posting here - MIP is a good place.

Tom

Hi Wildflower,

                      I have watched this thread, with interest. [And i am not all all concerned!]

It Is a group conscience issue [but no big deal!] Tradition 4. About group autonomy.

I stick closely as I can to Alanon principals. I observe that others don't- quite so much. I am not a mod. or an admin.

The principal- "How important is it?" Seems to apply. From the group long timers and mods. If a person is caring and participating [for me] that is the,most important thing.

We have a white board- and personal message facility here- a good way to have a quiet word with people!

I have always only seen greetings and such there. Not one piece of gossip or criticism!

This is a lovely place to be, and to share. For me this is my home group. So what i am saying here- I am speaking as a regular member.

The love and peace of the programme... keep speaking and keep asking questions...  ...

Hi from the cold cold South...

Y'all come back now!  

DavidG.

Thank you, canadianguy aka Tom.  Yes, it was heady.  It totally changed the focus of my life.  It changed who I was, but because I chose to face it head on, and learn all I could, I am a far better person than I would otherwise have been.  I'm need to get my thoughts together on how best to post it here.

Thank you all for being here.

WIldflower I am so sorry to read of the dreadful issues that alcoholism has bought to your family. Looking forward to your link and please do keep coming back

Hi DavidG, thanks for the nice welcome and reassurances.  Most of my family is gone now.  The ones who aren't turned away when I needed them most.  They had the form of religion, but not the spirit behind it.  In my opinion, the best stuff in the Bible, which I was raised to believe in, is I Corinthians, chapter 13.  It's the love chapter.  'Love is patient and kind...."   In general it's the way I try to live my life.  It's a work in progress.  Grin.

hotrod, thanks so much.  It wasn't just alcohol, it was prescription drugs too.  Instead of helping my brother, they prescribed six horrible drugs....Stelazine, Thorazine, Lithium, Librium, Valium and on others I can't remember right now.  He was taking them all at the same time - he got them from two doctors.  It fried his brain.  It happened in 1980.  My momma cried off and on for the rest of her life.  My dad had a heart attack and died.

 Yes...When Bill W. went for his final treatment- where he got better he was drinking and taking "goofballs".

           I think that was some sort of amphetamine... I think in Alanon our primary focus is on alcoholism- however, today this is often combined with a whole raft of addictions!

AA, in our neck of the woods is strictly alcoholism only. Tradition 4. Not quite sure where Alanon sits. But some years ago I saw a member 'shown the door' for mentioning codependency.

Today I think we leave people to finish their share- so we can hear the full context. Pretty sure if someone bought a different philosophy into a meeting- week after week- that that would have to be dealt with. ...

But sometimes, especially early on, some groups insist on impossible and sometimes arbitrary standards.

I am strong on this- because This happened in my home group here- which is now in recess.  ...

Let there be no gossip or criticism of each other... this is an oft-quoted ending to many of our meetings...

and- How Important Is It?

                     ...

Thank you Iamhere and DavidG.  I signed up for this group because I was trying to learn how better to cope with my alcoholic step-daughter.  But she also does opioids.