Years ago- when ah were in Alanon, they had a conscience meeting [I wasn't there] and they allocated me a sponsor. Looking back- I think there was a 'wicked plan' behind that!
Sponsors hubby was in AA- and he started an open sharing meeting- and we went through the Alanon and AA green 12x 12 books together. Several times actually.
When I started with this MIP Alanon and ACA combined I found, along with the steps, I knew the traditions inside out.
What I found, both here in NZ, and also online people used to get stuck with the middle steps. Groups would get bogged down with just about everyone manifesting the old behaviours for the alcoholic homes. People were bossy boots, or whimps, and sometimes both!
It just seemed impossible and chaotic. But deep down it was meant to be... sometimes groups would make up random rules and try and make everyone stick to them. But i had learned- what was permissible, and what was possible, and just weaved through all that.
We do have to maintain safe flexible ad workable boundaries.
I found the easiest way to go- was to just demonstrate what I knew. I will always make mistakes- something NOT allowed in my Foo!!!
But I found it was okay to stumble around in the dark... and try to figure things out!
We have the right to be wrong, was my mantra, for a long time!
Otherwise how were we ever going to learn?
...
hotrod said
Jun 25, 2019
Hi David Great topic. I am pleased that you attended the meeting in NY that i support as it is a step and tradition meeting. We embrace both tools equally and I feel that the traditions are golden. They are simple guidelines that keep the rooms safe and members growing. It is up to each individual member to follow the suggestions and any meeting i attended did just that If a member feels the meeting is going off principles they can call a discussion and review the tradition that is not being honored
DavidG said
Jun 27, 2019
Betty... thanks...
,..when I came along here my goal-set was on Concept 4. "Participation is the key to harmony".
Groups- where everyone gets to play their part. For our group here- we have a business board, if needed... ... and an MIP business board too. Almost completely devoted to organise our Tradition 7 giving- once a year.
The safeguards are there- but we seldom seem to need them... ...
hotrod said
Jun 29, 2019
David I love the simple saying:" We are all here because we are not all there " :) So I believe that " participation" is extremely important
Lyne said
Jun 29, 2019
Interesting shares David and Betty. The steps make complete sense to me and I embrace them. In my F2F meeting we are trying to follow a format where we do a tradition each month. They seem logical but I am having trouble embracing them the way I do the steps. I guess we need the traditions to keep our meetings on course. I hope in time I will see them through a more important light. Lyne
DavidG said
Jun 29, 2019
Lyn... ...seeing the traditions- working in practise is helpful... in this group there are 5 or 6 people, maybe more, who are confident with the traditions...
...and the group conscience expresses itself well. ... Reason being that we do attract motivated members, all of whom have a wealth of experience, ...
This is something I have never done before- and strongly avoided.
To post the same share, to two different groups. Stateside, I was alway impressed with the AA clubhouse concept- where everyone is together.
last year I was in such a place in Eastern Texas... and also been to meetings in Rapid City, New York, Atlanta, and Florida.
As I write this out- Irealise that I am not sitting here- with the seat out of my pants, and holes in my shoes. I have grown up!
I am much less than wise- I am relaxed and enjoying life, mostly.
Th family is around me is okay. To them I must seem wise, considerate and urbane...
...if they only knew what was going on in this pinhead head of mind!
But I have been going to to a place where this was okay- and where I learned to be okay!
Th heard way- it took time- but it has worked out!
...
So, below, tis is what I wrote- maybe it applies to any 12 step group-
I do know it does apply to me, personally!!!
...
So, this is what ah wrote:
*******************************************************************************************************
Sponsors hubby was in AA- and he started an open sharing meeting- and we went through the Alanon and AA green 12x 12 books together. Several times actually.
When I started with this MIP Alanon and ACA combined I found, along with the steps, I knew the traditions inside out.
What I found, both here in NZ, and also online people used to get stuck with the middle steps. Groups would get bogged down with just about everyone manifesting the old behaviours for the alcoholic homes. People were bossy boots, or whimps, and sometimes both!
It just seemed impossible and chaotic. But deep down it was meant to be... sometimes groups would make up random rules and try and make everyone stick to them. But i had learned- what was permissible, and what was possible, and just weaved through all that.
We do have to maintain safe flexible ad workable boundaries.
I found the easiest way to go- was to just demonstrate what I knew. I will always make mistakes- something NOT allowed in my Foo!!!
But I found it was okay to stumble around in the dark... and try to figure things out!
We have the right to be wrong, was my mantra, for a long time!
Otherwise how were we ever going to learn?
Hi David Great topic. I am pleased that you attended the meeting in NY that i support as it is a step and tradition meeting. We embrace both tools equally and I feel that the traditions are golden. They are simple guidelines that keep the rooms safe and members growing. It is up to each individual member to follow the suggestions and any meeting i attended did just that If a member feels the meeting is going off principles they can call a discussion and review the tradition that is not being honored
,..when I came along here my goal-set was on Concept 4. "Participation is the key to harmony".
Groups- where everyone gets to play their part. For our group here- we have a business board, if needed... ... and an MIP business board too. Almost completely devoted to organise our Tradition 7 giving- once a year.
The safeguards are there- but we seldom seem to need them...
...
...and the group conscience expresses itself well.
... Reason being that we do attract motivated members, all of whom have a wealth of experience, 
...