Posting for tomorrow as I've got early plans! The reading is about Fear and how Al-Anon gives us tools to respond differently when fear crops up. The writer shares that fear was a daily part of her experience with alcoholism and some of her coping mechanisms were not healthy for her. She found her best alternative to her long-standing ways of coping was to admit that she's got a problem, accept her reactions and turn them over to her HP. Courage is fear that has said its prayers. We must recognize our fear, we must say those prayers and we must have faith as we wait for healing.
Al-Anon helps us learn how to respond instead of react and respond with love, care and respect for self - even when we are fearful, confused and/or angry.
Reminder: Today I'll try to become more aware of alternatives that I haven't yet recognized.
Quote from . . . In All Our Affairs: " . . . Al-Anon helped me to accept the fact that, although I have no control over other people's reactions or thoughts, I can change the way I react."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prior to recovery, FEAR was a huge part of my existence. I made decisions based on fear, I planned fearful of being right and wrong and trusting in a HP seemed silly and pointless. I had walked away from any concept of God many years previous, and truly tried to live my life with me in charge.
In reality, that ended in a train-wreck for me. I did very well in many areas of my life - job, finances, educations, etc. yet I had a huge void in my heart, soul and daily life and did not even realize how controlled by fear I was. While I had been able to find success in many, many things, this disease and my being raised in the disease truly left me feeling as a failure, with the lowest self esteem possible and no faith at all.
Working this program to the best of my ability helped me discover new ways to think, act, feel and believe. I still have fear at times yet I also have a huge tool kit and amazing support through my sponsor and tribe to get through it. I do not have irrational fears like before; today much of the fear I feel is fact-based and I do have faith in a God of my understanding and prayer has been beyond useful - it's been life changing. For so many years, when 'life' happened, I felt there was no way out and no solution. Today, when I have no idea what to do or how to proceed, pausing long even to pray before I proceed gives an immediate sense of calm, followed by a deep knowing I am not alone no matter what is happening.
I am grateful fear no longer dominates my life/days. I am grateful to have a HP and to be restored to more sanity than before. I am grateful for those who came before me in recovery and all our tools. I am grateful for my MIP family who share ESH and not advice. Happy Thursday to one and all - enjoy your day!
DavidG said
Jun 19, 2019
Hope your day went well... and your morning is fresh and new, Iam... ...
Fear was my greatest enemy- and I always said that fear and anger were two sides of the same coin. False evidence appearing real? Well my fears were real and the threats to my security well founded. That is deep down in my experience. Tp get past this I turned my fear-word into what it was- terror. I was terrified. And the anger word i turned to rage. I was twisted up with all this.
I am so grateful I came into the rooms of Alanon... it was a start. It was not a quick fix. It did save my marriage, at one stage. The mere fact of bothering to go.
We were all in it together... close knit... we knew each others hearts- fears and anger. It calmed us to find that we were no longer alone. And those moments of calm, grew slowly into the serenity we were seeking. ...
signs of change began with the ability to express gratitude... very timid at first- but it was nurtured and washed in the tears we all shared- both inwardly, and outwardly... ... so glad I started the journey... an article of faith...
T h a n k s . . . ...
Skorpi said
Jun 20, 2019
Good morning MIP! and thanks for the shares IaH and DavidG!
FEAR. One of my main character defects. Prior to working the program, and even now at times, FEAR dictates what I am and am not willing to do. My life was out of control, and I was AFRAID that things were going to fall apart. I was fragile, and was AFRAID any little thing would break me. Thanks to the AlAnon program, I have more control over my life. I no longer live in fear of the power being cut off, or of being evicted and being homeless. I do not live in FEAR or not having enough to eat. My program work, learning that it was ok to have boundaries, and learning to enforce them changed my reality - I take care of myself and I don't have to fear loosing the basics for survival.
Fear still pops up. I dislike rage, yelling, verbal attacks, and sometimes, I make decisions that will avoid triggering these. I'm working out exactly where the balance is there - it isn't healthy for me to be around the raging yelling, and I don't need to provoke it, but sometimes I avoid talking about important things or sharing about my day because I am trying to avoid triggering the raging. Like I said, I'm still trying to find the balance with that. As much as I am not responsible for AW's actions, I don't want to ruin MY day by being around it. OF course, there is a real impact on our relationship because of this - I'm not sharing openly and honestly, and I sometimes feel like everything I say is calculated in advance for how AW is likely to react. But, I know from AlAnon that it is about progress, not perfection. And I'll hand this issue over to my HP, and let them sort it out.
I hope you make today a great day!
Lyne said
Jun 20, 2019
Thanks IAH for your service and your share. I think I could have written your share! Fear was given to me in childhood and thrived into my adult life. No self-esteem and no hope for happiness. Guilt, self-degradation, oh what a mess.
Program has given me a new life complete with tools, coping mechanisms, a deeper relationship with HP, and new people that care and help me along my journey. I still have fear but the part it plays in my life has shrunken. More positive emotions dominate now such as pride, faith, feeling strong some days, being able to take action, happiness, gratitude, and courage, hence, the courage to change, Lyne
Posting for tomorrow as I've got early plans! The reading is about Fear and how Al-Anon gives us tools to respond differently when fear crops up. The writer shares that fear was a daily part of her experience with alcoholism and some of her coping mechanisms were not healthy for her. She found her best alternative to her long-standing ways of coping was to admit that she's got a problem, accept her reactions and turn them over to her HP. Courage is fear that has said its prayers. We must recognize our fear, we must say those prayers and we must have faith as we wait for healing.
Al-Anon helps us learn how to respond instead of react and respond with love, care and respect for self - even when we are fearful, confused and/or angry.
Reminder: Today I'll try to become more aware of alternatives that I haven't yet recognized.
Quote from . . . In All Our Affairs: " . . . Al-Anon helped me to accept the fact that, although I have no control over other people's reactions or thoughts, I can change the way I react."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prior to recovery, FEAR was a huge part of my existence. I made decisions based on fear, I planned fearful of being right and wrong and trusting in a HP seemed silly and pointless. I had walked away from any concept of God many years previous, and truly tried to live my life with me in charge.
In reality, that ended in a train-wreck for me. I did very well in many areas of my life - job, finances, educations, etc. yet I had a huge void in my heart, soul and daily life and did not even realize how controlled by fear I was. While I had been able to find success in many, many things, this disease and my being raised in the disease truly left me feeling as a failure, with the lowest self esteem possible and no faith at all.
Working this program to the best of my ability helped me discover new ways to think, act, feel and believe. I still have fear at times yet I also have a huge tool kit and amazing support through my sponsor and tribe to get through it. I do not have irrational fears like before; today much of the fear I feel is fact-based and I do have faith in a God of my understanding and prayer has been beyond useful - it's been life changing. For so many years, when 'life' happened, I felt there was no way out and no solution. Today, when I have no idea what to do or how to proceed, pausing long even to pray before I proceed gives an immediate sense of calm, followed by a deep knowing I am not alone no matter what is happening.
I am grateful fear no longer dominates my life/days. I am grateful to have a HP and to be restored to more sanity than before. I am grateful for those who came before me in recovery and all our tools. I am grateful for my MIP family who share ESH and not advice. Happy Thursday to one and all - enjoy your day!
Hope your day went well... and your morning is fresh and new, Iam...
...
Fear was my greatest enemy- and I always said that fear and anger were two sides of the same coin. False evidence appearing real? Well my fears were real and the threats to my security well founded. That is deep down in my experience. Tp get past this I turned my fear-word into what it was- terror. I was terrified. And the anger word i turned to rage. I was twisted up with all this.
I am so grateful I came into the rooms of Alanon... it was a start. It was not a quick fix. It did save my marriage, at one stage. The mere fact of bothering to go.
We were all in it together... close knit... we knew each others hearts- fears and anger. It calmed us to find that we were no longer alone. And those moments of calm, grew slowly into the serenity we were seeking.
...
signs of change began with the ability to express gratitude... very timid at first- but it was nurtured and washed in the tears we all shared- both inwardly, and outwardly... ... so glad I started the journey... an article of faith...
T h a n k s . . .
...
FEAR. One of my main character defects. Prior to working the program, and even now at times, FEAR dictates what I am and am not willing to do. My life was out of control, and I was AFRAID that things were going to fall apart. I was fragile, and was AFRAID any little thing would break me. Thanks to the AlAnon program, I have more control over my life. I no longer live in fear of the power being cut off, or of being evicted and being homeless. I do not live in FEAR or not having enough to eat. My program work, learning that it was ok to have boundaries, and learning to enforce them changed my reality - I take care of myself and I don't have to fear loosing the basics for survival.
Fear still pops up. I dislike rage, yelling, verbal attacks, and sometimes, I make decisions that will avoid triggering these. I'm working out exactly where the balance is there - it isn't healthy for me to be around the raging yelling, and I don't need to provoke it, but sometimes I avoid talking about important things or sharing about my day because I am trying to avoid triggering the raging. Like I said, I'm still trying to find the balance with that. As much as I am not responsible for AW's actions, I don't want to ruin MY day by being around it. OF course, there is a real impact on our relationship because of this - I'm not sharing openly and honestly, and I sometimes feel like everything I say is calculated in advance for how AW is likely to react. But, I know from AlAnon that it is about progress, not perfection. And I'll hand this issue over to my HP, and let them sort it out.
I hope you make today a great day!
Program has given me a new life complete with tools, coping mechanisms, a deeper relationship with HP, and new people that care and help me along my journey. I still have fear but the part it plays in my life has shrunken. More positive emotions dominate now such as pride, faith, feeling strong some days, being able to take action, happiness, gratitude, and courage, hence, the courage to change, Lyne