Now is the time to focus on me & my needs. I am embarking on a new adventure. Facing my mom again at the assisted care center. It has been over 6 mos.since I saw her last. I am very anxious about it. I guess I will be OK because her birthday is on Sunday & I am going to try to have a mini party for her if they will let me. We are bringing the cake & I think we will play games if they will let us. She recently had a decline in her health. I think I mentioned this in a previous post. I just hope that I can carry God w/me through the whole ordeal. It is the best idea I have had lately. I know that she can be mean-spirited. The truth is I am trying to give her something to get excited about & something to put myself into. I have been planning this for a long time. Talk about not living one day at a time. I also am celebrating a miracle. I will be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary w/ my AH in July. I guess I am jumping the gun a little but I am so excited about the fact that we have been through so much in the last 20 years. He is a miracle & so am I. The program has served us well. We are both long-standing members of the program. Some people don't get it when I say I have been in the program for all this time. I guess it doesn't show on my bad days. But then, I have the program every day if I just allow it to filter through me.\
So, again I go on w/ life trying to stay positive. Maybe I will do some affirmations. Some people say as if. Some people say fake it till you make it. I am counting on the first one. I have a lot of opportunities to focus on me. I am the only me that I will ever have!
I am waiting for another major transformation. I am hoping that I can spread my wings & carry myself through recovery.
Thanks for all your support at the difficult & the times I have had to feel that I can give back. I guess doing this is my service for the day!
Kathleen
On a side note: God is our filter.
DavidG said
May 17, 2019
Kathleen...
in our special groups we begin to see things- from the inside out... the surface features blur... and we feel emotion, rather than see it.
And the spiritual seems much more relevant. Rites of passage seem much more relevant- and they have their own tensions, and release. Anniversaries- of all kinds. And finding a springboard for further growth... yes!!! ...
DavidG.
Iamhere said
May 17, 2019
Kathleen - your plan sounds lovely! Enjoy yourself whether your momma does or not! You are worthy of joy and happiness no matter what anyone else is doing/feeling. You got this! Congrats. on the upcoming anniversary - we celebrated 28 years in April. It's been far from perfect yet I wouldn't change anything if I could. All that we have now and all that we have been through has made us who we are today and that's a great thing!
So, so glad you are here @ MIP and a part of my journey!! (((Hugs)))
Lyne said
May 18, 2019
{{{Kathleen}}} You are acting in a mature, kind way, and probably 20 years of program has something to do with that! What others think, phooey to them! Today my goal is having no expectations with my A, while I detach with love. It's a tall order, but I shall try, Lyne
PosiesandPuppies said
May 18, 2019
((((Kathleen))))
Congrats on 20 years, on your good work through program! Enjoy the miracles!
Hoot Nanny said
May 18, 2019
Just to clarify: I have 33 years in the program. Almost 20 years of marriage.
Now is the time to focus on me & my needs. I am embarking on a new adventure. Facing my mom again at the assisted care center. It has been over 6 mos.since I saw her last. I am very anxious about it. I guess I will be OK because her birthday is on Sunday & I am going to try to have a mini party for her if they will let me. We are bringing the cake & I think we will play games if they will let us. She recently had a decline in her health. I think I mentioned this in a previous post. I just hope that I can carry God w/me through the whole ordeal. It is the best idea I have had lately. I know that she can be mean-spirited. The truth is I am trying to give her something to get excited about & something to put myself into. I have been planning this for a long time. Talk about not living one day at a time. I also am celebrating a miracle. I will be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary w/ my AH in July. I guess I am jumping the gun a little but I am so excited about the fact that we have been through so much in the last 20 years. He is a miracle & so am I. The program has served us well. We are both long-standing members of the program. Some people don't get it when I say I have been in the program for all this time. I guess it doesn't show on my bad days. But then, I have the program every day if I just allow it to filter through me.\
So, again I go on w/ life trying to stay positive. Maybe I will do some affirmations. Some people say as if. Some people say fake it till you make it. I am counting on the first one. I have a lot of opportunities to focus on me. I am the only me that I will ever have!
I am waiting for another major transformation. I am hoping that I can spread my wings & carry myself through recovery.
Thanks for all your support at the difficult & the times I have had to feel that I can give back. I guess doing this is my service for the day!
Kathleen
On a side note: God is our filter.
in our special groups we begin to see things- from the inside out... the surface features blur... and we feel emotion, rather than see it.
And the spiritual seems much more relevant. Rites of passage seem much more relevant- and they have their own tensions, and release. Anniversaries- of all kinds. And finding a springboard for further growth... yes!!!
...
DavidG.
So, so glad you are here @ MIP and a part of my journey!! (((Hugs)))
Congrats on 20 years, on your good work through program! Enjoy the miracles!