Today's reading discusses the benefits gained by learning the facts about alcoholism.  The writer recognizes that alcoholism is a disease, and its sufferers are sick people, not bad people. With this knowledge, we can have realistic expectations and not set ourselves up for disappointment.

Knowledge about alcoholism has replaced fear, and has made room for compassion and humility.

Reminder: Learning about the disease of alcoholism can help me become more realistic about a loved one's illness, and thus to make better choices for myself.

Quote from Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism, "I have learned techniques for dealing with the alcoholic, so that I can develop a relationship with the person behind the disease."

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This topic has been so important for my recovery. When my husband was alive and his health affected by this disease, I did not really understand the facts and did not have the time or clarity to learn about them.  I was still in survival mode, but surviving a lot better with the help of Al-Anon and my newly discovered higher powers. A dear friend that I confided in would tell me, "It's not his fault, he is sick, the way his brain works is causing this compulsive behavior."  I did not want to hear it at that time. I was too angry and stressed.

After my husband passed away, I had the time to read what scientists have learned about this disease.  It opened my eyes, and now I felt I understood what had been so baffling.  I read the research that supported what my friend.had been trying to tell me. This knowledge has helped me to forgive, to understand that he was a good person with a bad disease.  Now I am not consumed by anger about the past, but I feel the peace of understanding.

Good Morning Freetime thank you for sharing on this important topic. Accepting the basic fact that alcoholism is a disease helped me to stop judging the alcoholic in my life and become more supportive and compassionate. I have alanon ,my sponsor and meetings to thank for that change in attitude.

Thank you for your service, Freetime!!

This subject is near and dear to my heart as my educational background is in science/medicine and I love to "ferret out" facts. Honestly, it is my go-to when my faith falters.
However, I must say I received some flack about "wanting to know" from Al-Anon members. Their view (which they had no problem reminding me), was that the "whys" did not matter. I did try "their way" at first. However, it just didn't sit well with me. I was in such turmoil, and it seemed to fuel my bitterness, despite my efforts on working on Me.

So I finally followed my own mind, and began reading all the NEW information from medical/psychology journals and other medical opinions. What were the latest scientific ideas of how the chemistry of the brain is altered by alcohol and drugs? Finding the newest theories is the key here. With this knowledge, I was able to understand my AH's crazy behavior... as well as his lack of motivation for wanting change. I mean, he lost EVERYTHING... who would logically allow this to happen in their lives? Someone who's brain has been altered by addiction, that's who! As I became stronger, I was able to tell those naysayers "This is how I process. This is what works for me," and hold firm to my convictions. This knowledge has brought me out of the depths of despair/self-blame/bitterness. It has also made me much smarter about the disease and helped me to decide what I could deal with moving forward. It has also allowed me to have some compassion where before there was only anger.

Aloha - what you said about "forgetting the alcoholic was sick," really hit a nerve for me. I completely understand. When Addiction first became known in my family, I too did not know and therefore kept "forgetting" that the disease is ever present. I did not learn enough about the disease at that time, and therefore when my spouse was finished with his 90-day rehab, I thought all would be well and we would get back to our normal. 
Well, the next 7 years ended up being hellish... fueled by my denial, lack of knowledge about Addiction, and my unwillingness to Accept Things As They Are.

Now I see the bigger picture. It includes many ideas and modalities to heal. I see Addiction as a disease that alters the chemistry of the brain - sometimes permanently. I believe as science proves more about these chemical changes, the prevailing beliefs long held about this condition will change from disgust and condemnation, to understanding and compassion - much like Type 2 Diabetes.  It has already begun.

As it has been often said, Knowledge is Power.

I am grateful that today if Friday! Make it a good one, everybody!

To answer Aloha's question, I learned the most about alcoholism from the book Beyond the Influence by Katherine Ketcham and William Asbury (2000). It summarizes a lot of scientific research, and though it is not CAL, I find it very consistent and supportive of our program.  It gave me the hard facts behind the spiritual approach that our program takes.

I also read, Beyond the Influence. It was very enlightening and one can't help but feel compassion after reading it.  However, that being said.....I still get so angry at times because there IS help and treatment!  I then have to remind myself like many mental illnesses......addiction is a disease that doesn't want to be treated.  It will cling to its hold and survival. The disease itself prevents the person from seeking help....especially if that person hasn't suffered dire consequences from it.   I can clearly see the impact on my husband's physical health, cognition and social interactions.  He can't see them though because he hasn't even come close to a rock bottom.  I think his disease would still make excuses and point the blame elsewhere even if he reached it. So, I accept things as they are and leave it up to HP. 

Good people with a bad disease.

Happy Easter weekend to those who celebrate!

Ellen

Thanks for your service freetime. This is really a great reading. Understanding alcoholism as an illness is such a gift for working the steps of the program. It's helped me to come to terms with what is and isn't my responsibility and the impact of my words, thoughts and actions. Yes, I'm affected by another's drinking but I also have free will.

I especially like this part of the reading... "Alanon has dispersed many of my fears and made room for a new found compassion. I see that I am not the only one with good ideas, valid criticisms and noble motives." This quote reminds me that there is a person under the disease of alcoholism, a person for whom I can find compassion because they are suffering from an illness in as much as I would find compassion for anyone suffering from any illness. If I cross over from compassion to pity I'm out of my program, out of a place of humility in a place of self righteousness, smugness, superiority. From this place, I can no longer see the alcoholics in my life as people but as something to be dealt with. In the past fear and resentment blocked validation of alcoholics and closed my mind to any possibility that they could possibly have "good ideas, valid criticisms and noble motives."  Thankfully, knowledge is power. Working the steps of Alanon, putting the Alanon traditions into action in the home and with extended family has created more harmony based on acceptance rather than tolerance and expectations. I'm glad I put the pedestal curbside a long time ago. It's especially difficult to watch the disease of alcoholism progress in my loved ones but I don't love them any less and am trying one day at a time to focus more on the loved one under the illness. In life, I am as fragile and imperfect therefore I am no one to discredit or dismiss their humanity. Thanks for sharing about the concept of alcoholism as a disease. It's an important topic and continues to be relevant to my progress one day at a time. ((hugs))) TT