In today's reading in Courage to Change, the author shares about the fourth step topic of self-worth. The author, while working through Blueprint for Progress, noticed that they had always judged themselves on the basis of their accomplishments or on what other people said about them. Thanks to working step four, the author realized that part of their self-worth can be based on loving other people, saying a kind word, writing a considerate letter, or just taking time out of the day to appreciate someone else. The author realized that they have the power to feel good about themself, regardless of achievements, and whether or not other people validated their worthiness.
Today's Reminder: Let me look for appropriate opportunities to share my love with people around me. In this way I celebrate one of my most positive traits without expecting anything in return. Paying someone a compliment that comes from the heart, or thanking them sincerely for their kindness, may be the nicest thing I can do for myself today.
Today's Quote: "It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him." Abraham Lincoln
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I like the reminder in today's reading that the fourth step isn't about beating myself up for my character defects, but rather an opportunity to identify my strengths and cultivate strengths I might not have been aware of. It's been a bit of a rough few months, and thanks to my work in the program, especially on step 4, I've been able to come through the difficulties more-or-less in a way that I like. I've been able to reach out to others, to ask for support, and to not take myself or my situation too seriously. The author's suggestion of taking time to say a kind word to someone or appreciate someone else has been very important to me. I've been making an effort to do those things, and I notice it always makes my day better.
For those of you in the northern hemisphere, happy first day of spring! And for those of you in the southern hemisphere, happy first day of fall! (My favorite season)
I hope you make today a great day!
Lyne said
Mar 20, 2019
Thanks Scorpi for your service. I spent many years having no self-worth, and craving positive feedback from others. I took negative feedback to heart and could stew about it for days. It was quite a miserable existence. I am currently working the steps with my sponsor for the second time around, and I am on step 4. She taught me how to recognize my assets, and I am ready to tackle the defects. I dont feel afraid of them for I am willing to see reality and I know I can change the things I dont like about myself. I have been asking HP for the ability to forgive my A. Step 4 is really awesome, Lyne
PosiesandPuppies said
Mar 20, 2019
Thank you Skorpi, for your service today. Lyne is so right when she says, "Step 4 is really awesome."
It sounds so serious... take a serious, moral inventory of ourselves. And in the end, what comes out of it, is pretty important - so it is important to "do it" seriously and with strong intent. But I found that some of my greatest strengths can be weaknesses, that some behaviors no longer served a good purpose for me, and I learned not to take myself too seriously.
It DID allow me to identify my strengths, and why they were strengths for me!
I especially like the Reminder today...each day is more lovely when we share the joy that is in our hearts with others! It could be something as simple as a smile!
Well, I am off to do my annual sitting an egg on it's point - vernal equinox ya know!
hotrod said
Mar 20, 2019
Skorpi Thank you for your service. The 4th Step is a powerful reminder to me as to how i unthinkingly hurt myself----Great tool
inhealinghands said
Mar 20, 2019
When I first heard about this step during my brief foray into Alanon several years ago, it sounded so terrifying. I am so relieved to find that I am not nearly as terrified of it this time.
Courage to Change was so helpful today. While I'm more comfortable now accepting the idea of my 'defects of character,' my 'assets' seem so blah and burned out. My life spiraled into such a dismal state through this disease... and I went from Ivy League education and a Masters degree, to working dead-end jobs that used zero brain power and left me barely able to take care of my basic needs. Only because I had NO bandwidth to work a challenging job when I was so ground down by the insecurity of life with my ex-partner. It's so helpful to hear that there's more to my worth. Even if I never get out of this current career cul de sac, and live paycheck to paycheck with no savings or retirement, it has no bearing on whether or not I have good aspects and am important and worthy. I try to help people as much as I can, and that alone is something that matters. Thanks for the reminder of the morning reading.
Iamhere said
Mar 20, 2019
Thank you Skorpi for the daily and your service. Thanks to everyone above me for your ESH and shares. I too feared Step 4 and thought it would be a detailed 'confession of all my sins' and painful and ...... What I experienced instead was a loving sponsor who helped me see that who I was is not who I am and each day, I can be a better version of me! I have more confidence than before because I can own my strengths as well as my weaknesses. Step 4 taught me that I am not expected to be or do perfect and that's one of many reasons we have other imperfect humans in our lives - to ask for help when needed.
I make it a point to do at least 3 random acts of kindness each day incognito. It's usually more but if I get to bed time, I can't remember if I did or not, I will send a 'thinking of you text' to someone suffering. There is always a spirit that can use a kind word and I do believe I feel better than they when all is said and done.
I also am one who believes that our 'defects' are merely assets that we've exploited because of FOO, this disease, other life events. We are imperfectly perfect as designed, and Step 4 helped me refocus my energy and resources in a more balanced way than before.
Happy Hump Day all - I am giddy as a small child - spring has arrived and I spent the afternoon golfing with gal pals. Softball starts tomorrow night - so happy to be outside and physical!! (((Hugs))) to all.
Hello MIP!
In today's reading in Courage to Change, the author shares about the fourth step topic of self-worth. The author, while working through Blueprint for Progress, noticed that they had always judged themselves on the basis of their accomplishments or on what other people said about them. Thanks to working step four, the author realized that part of their self-worth can be based on loving other people, saying a kind word, writing a considerate letter, or just taking time out of the day to appreciate someone else. The author realized that they have the power to feel good about themself, regardless of achievements, and whether or not other people validated their worthiness.
Today's Reminder: Let me look for appropriate opportunities to share my love with people around me. In this way I celebrate one of my most positive traits without expecting anything in return. Paying someone a compliment that comes from the heart, or thanking them sincerely for their kindness, may be the nicest thing I can do for myself today.
Today's Quote: "It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him." Abraham Lincoln
-----------------------
I like the reminder in today's reading that the fourth step isn't about beating myself up for my character defects, but rather an opportunity to identify my strengths and cultivate strengths I might not have been aware of. It's been a bit of a rough few months, and thanks to my work in the program, especially on step 4, I've been able to come through the difficulties more-or-less in a way that I like. I've been able to reach out to others, to ask for support, and to not take myself or my situation too seriously. The author's suggestion of taking time to say a kind word to someone or appreciate someone else has been very important to me. I've been making an effort to do those things, and I notice it always makes my day better.
For those of you in the northern hemisphere, happy first day of spring! And for those of you in the southern hemisphere, happy first day of fall! (My favorite season)
I hope you make today a great day!
It sounds so serious... take a serious, moral inventory of ourselves. And in the end, what comes out of it, is pretty important - so it is important to "do it" seriously and with strong intent. But I found that some of my greatest strengths can be weaknesses, that some behaviors no longer served a good purpose for me, and I learned not to take myself too seriously.
It DID allow me to identify my strengths, and why they were strengths for me!
I especially like the Reminder today...each day is more lovely when we share the joy that is in our hearts with others! It could be something as simple as a smile!
Well, I am off to do my annual sitting an egg on it's point - vernal equinox ya know!
Skorpi Thank you for your service.
The 4th Step is a powerful reminder to me as to how i unthinkingly hurt myself----Great tool
When I first heard about this step during my brief foray into Alanon several years ago, it sounded so terrifying. I am so relieved to find that I am not nearly as terrified of it this time.
Courage to Change was so helpful today. While I'm more comfortable now accepting the idea of my 'defects of character,' my 'assets' seem so blah and burned out. My life spiraled into such a dismal state through this disease... and I went from Ivy League education and a Masters degree, to working dead-end jobs that used zero brain power and left me barely able to take care of my basic needs. Only because I had NO bandwidth to work a challenging job when I was so ground down by the insecurity of life with my ex-partner. It's so helpful to hear that there's more to my worth. Even if I never get out of this current career cul de sac, and live paycheck to paycheck with no savings or retirement, it has no bearing on whether or not I have good aspects and am important and worthy. I try to help people as much as I can, and that alone is something that matters. Thanks for the reminder of the morning reading.
I make it a point to do at least 3 random acts of kindness each day incognito. It's usually more but if I get to bed time, I can't remember if I did or not, I will send a 'thinking of you text' to someone suffering. There is always a spirit that can use a kind word and I do believe I feel better than they when all is said and done.
I also am one who believes that our 'defects' are merely assets that we've exploited because of FOO, this disease, other life events. We are imperfectly perfect as designed, and Step 4 helped me refocus my energy and resources in a more balanced way than before.
Happy Hump Day all - I am giddy as a small child - spring has arrived and I spent the afternoon golfing with gal pals. Softball starts tomorrow night - so happy to be outside and physical!! (((Hugs))) to all.