Hello everyone, Sometimes that's been troubling me for a while in Al-Anon meetings is the chant at the end. Is this normal? I love saying the serenity prayer after meetings, I find that really peaceful and will always have a special place for me. But then after the serenity prayer, in the meetings that I go to, everyone seems to chant - keep coming back, or keep coming back it works if you work it, or keep coming back it works if you work it if you work it it works etc etc. I find that just really creepy and it makes me feel uncomfortable. It seems cult-like. I'm happy to decide myself what works for me and I don't like to be chanted at. I do keep going back to meetings, but in spite of the chant, not because of it. Is it just me? Am I missing something with this? Thank you for reading.

Hey Lil99 - most, if not all meetings do it. It's also done on the AA side - just a reminder that everyone is welcome back at any time for any reason for the common purpose of the group. I found it kind of silly at first but it grew on me.

I have close friends who do not participate in the closing prayer (sometimes it's the Our Father, other times it's the Serenity Prayer and still other times it another....) as they are Agnostic atheists. The closing phrase or chant gives them an opportunity to be part of the unity without praying.

HTH!!!

The very first time I participated in a group meeting was right here on this site (I have never been to a face to face meeting). I was very uneasy at that first online meeting, not knowing what to expect. I decided to "put up my hand" and share with the others.
After I finished, someone said "Keep Coming Back".
I felt so welcomed when I heard that. I felt completed accepted. Those words told me that if I kept coming back, I might find some serenity.

Take what you like, and leave the rest. That is one "slogan" in the alanon program. It doesn't matter what they do in other 12-step fellowships. That doesn't make it "right" so to speak, nor does it make it the norm...because alanon is its own program. It has a different perspective, and yes, a different approach, to recovery. People who walk into alanon, walk into the rooms, and are looking to address a certain issue. Yes, many may be looking to find out how to make the alcoholic stop drinking -- but as we all know -- that is not what alanon is about, nor is that what alanon does. People who walk into AA walk in for another reason, are there to address another issue, and while they are looking for recovery, it is a different outcome for an issue. Alanon solves a different "problem" than the so called problem, issue, or whatever you want to call it that other 12-step fellowships do.

Semantics or not, it is what it is. That said, if the closing of the meeting makes you feel uncomfortable, find a way that it can be comfortable for you. Don't participat, don't chant, whatever it is. Do that for you. One meeting I go to closes with the Our Father prayer. I join hands, but I do not recite the prayer. I wait until it's done, and then participate in the chant as you call it -- keep coming back, it works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it. That's just me. You just do what's you.

Greetings Lil-I like the slogan, take what you like and leave the rest, because we cannot always accept or relate to all aspects of alanon, but perhaps there are parts of alanon that can help you. You are welcome to be silent when the keep coming back is said and/or say something quietly to yourself that matters to you. I appreciate your honesty. When I was new to F2F meetings, I found all the slogans silly and also the steps. After over 5 years in program, many things have taken on a different meeting for me. I used to think the 12 step meetings were all kind of cult-like, but what I have learned in alanon is that I am encouraged to be my own person, and to listen to myself. Lyne

I hear you. I don't like it either and find it rather cheesy lol. That being said, I simply join hands in solidarity with the other members as we gather in a circle and remain silent with words but present in mind and body. Our group also has a strange routine of having attendees sign in. I dislike this as well, so I first questioned the rationale for it, it was brought forward at a business meeting, and it continues to this day. I accept that and simply pass the book to the next person and I don't "sign in". Our group is quite small, they know I don't sign in, call me the "rebel" laugh and move on.

Thank you so much everyone for your views. It's really helpful to hear other perspectives. I guess this is something that I can leave for now, and still join in with the rest of the meeting that I do value. Serenity47 - your story about not signing in particularly made me smile, thank you for sharing