Would love to hear how it is working out with the new GF, should you decide to share.
You are able to sit up and type, so I am encouraged. Well that was pretty snarky, wasn't it. You've been forgiving me for a long time,and I hope you continue.
And I really do want you to be happy. Just have my Spidey instincts aroused.
Hugs,
Temple
canadianguy said
Jan 8, 2019
Hehe..... yeah, I hear you..... :)
I am still friendly with S, but no longer dating..... she simply has too many outside issues, and is not yet at a point where she wants to address her drinking. She believes she is an alcoholic, but is still at that place where she thinks she can manage/control her drinking....
Life really is NOT an equal playing field. Her father died of alcoholism. Her mother was never nurturing, and is now suffering from dementia, and is likely an alcoholic herself. Her brother is an alcoholic/addict, and his wife of 30yrs, who suffers from the same disease, took her own life on Christmas evening....
Long story short - we are no longer dating, but I continue to be her friend, occasional confidante, and available to her as needed. I'm hopeful that she chooses a better outcome for herself, but (similar to Jerry F's post about his kids) - I am powerless.
Thanks for asking
Tom
mamalioness said
Jan 8, 2019
Dear Canadian guy: I hope it is not impertinent of me to say that I think it is wonderful that #1, you are aware of this lady's issues, and #2, you have compassion AND the desire/willingness to be her friend and confident...now THAT is Al-anon in action...Thank you for sharing this and Thanks to Temple for triggering this great post....
Temple said
Jan 8, 2019
Tom--
I feel as if a stone just rolled off me. Still a tad co-dependent? You could say that.
Boy--you are so healthy you could probably bite people and heal them. Because look at all the reasons you could be pleated up (my family say that) over her and trying to fix her
and while you were up all of her family, too.
And instead, you are her friend--and not throwing yourself under the bus for her. Just there when you can be of real help.
Did we run you off? Because I loved it when you posted about every day. And it's okay if you are in a different space now. I'm just greedy.
Thanks for answering.
Hugs,
Temple
andromeda said
Jan 8, 2019
Good to hear Tom. I have found that healthy boundaries are something that comes with time through working our program of recovery. It sounds so healthy and self aware. Hugs and lots of program support to you!
Tom--
So glad to see you on the board.
Would love to hear how it is working out with the new GF, should you decide to share.
You are able to sit up and type, so I am encouraged. Well that was pretty snarky, wasn't it. You've been forgiving me for a long time,and I hope you continue.
And I really do want you to be happy. Just have my Spidey instincts aroused.
Hugs,
Temple
Hehe..... yeah, I hear you..... :)
I am still friendly with S, but no longer dating..... she simply has too many outside issues, and is not yet at a point where she wants to address her drinking. She believes she is an alcoholic, but is still at that place where she thinks she can manage/control her drinking....
Life really is NOT an equal playing field. Her father died of alcoholism. Her mother was never nurturing, and is now suffering from dementia, and is likely an alcoholic herself. Her brother is an alcoholic/addict, and his wife of 30yrs, who suffers from the same disease, took her own life on Christmas evening....
Long story short - we are no longer dating, but I continue to be her friend, occasional confidante, and available to her as needed. I'm hopeful that she chooses a better outcome for herself, but (similar to Jerry F's post about his kids) - I am powerless.
Thanks for asking
Tom
I feel as if a stone just rolled off me. Still a tad co-dependent? You could say that.
Boy--you are so healthy you could probably bite people and heal them. Because look at all the reasons you could be pleated up (my family say that) over her and trying to fix her
and while you were up all of her family, too.
And instead, you are her friend--and not throwing yourself under the bus for her. Just there when you can be of real help.
Did we run you off? Because I loved it when you posted about every day. And it's okay if you are in a different space now. I'm just greedy.
Thanks for answering.
Hugs,
Temple