Keep It Simple

Don't give your advice before you are called upon. Desiderius Erasmus

Hi everyone!!! in this daily, the author stresses the point to NOT give advice..If someone wants the advice?? They will ask for it..Thats is why in 12 steps, we don't go around trying to solicit other folks to join us...We draw by attraction..People see what we have and they want it as well..However, people will, at times ask for advice

They will see we've changed..They will want to "be where we are at" and all we have to do is tell them where we found it and how we work the steps, et al but we don't tell them what to do..We don't "push the program" on to them...We share our stories, what it was like, what happened and where we are now..Thats it...Then we can INVITE them to join us..

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me carry the healing message of the program to these who ask for advice.
Action for the Day: I'll make a decision to spend time with the next person who ask for my help.

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Boy can I relate to this daily...I don't think I want to know how many older folks on this board I owe amends to for my being so aggressive, "know it all"  "my way or the highway" attitude towards one struggling with their active alcoholic..Like I "knew" EXACTLY what was best for them...Good thing this is online because I am sure many of you older folks would like to strangle me..So I will say "I'm sorry...I've changed..I've learned to live and let live, give my ESH and then DROP it...I am a sincere work in progress"

Now I tell my story and I say "this is what I did' or maybe I'll say "have you thought about???"  but I am veeeery careful not to "hard sell" the steps or the program or the meetings...I suggest...then LET GO!!! Send them peace and a hug and LET GO!!

Its taken me 15 years to change, but change I have..and I got the greatest reward!!!  My younger daughter saw me changing and she wanted to be better off...OMG, I wanted so bad for my child who was married to an abusive alcoholic who was so abusive to her, I even told him one evening if he ever puts his hands on my baby, I''ll kill him an do my time in prison, but my girl will be free...

well , she was tough like me and she left him...I was so glad she was safe!!!   I was the first to get into 12 steps...She watched me change...She watched me go from this aggressive , "sticking my nose into everyone's business, control freak, know it all, nuisance" to someone who lives and lets live..I tell my ESH and let it go and send the person love and healing energy in my prayers...even my own children now!!  I had to let my younger one decide and let HER ask ME, those golden words---"Mama will you guide and help me??? I want to get better, like you are"

ahhh those golden words, but I had to be careful..Not to get too pushy, so I sent her boxes of stuff that I downloaded and printed out re: the steps, Melodie Beattie, I sent her courage to change, ODAT in Alanon, From survival to recovery...I mean the works!!!!

In addition to my guiding her with the steps, She found a face to face meeting near her home....and she STILL attends, we share our steps and our growth together, but again, I have to watch me all the time to "easy does it"  Shes a big kid now, old enough to run her own life,  but I'm here ANY time night or day if she has ??? or needs clarification on something.

My older girl had to do time in jail, a year and a half to get into NA..When she got out, she quit her program!!!  I had to cry and let go!! As far as I know , she is still sober, but no program...I can't control her!! She is her own captain of her own ship...

Younger daughter is flourishing..Making friends in Alanon, hanging out with healthy girls her age and doing great..

BYW,  She is the one who calls me her "mamalioness"  when I asked her, one day,  why she calls me that, she said that a mother lion will risk her own life to protect the lives of her cubs, and yet she knows when to let the cub mess up and so they learn how to be GOOD hunters, etc.,  (She referred to my promise to her EX AH that he would be meeting his creator if he ever lays a hand on my baby)   I had to laugh..

And so THAT is how I got my name and to honor her, when I came back here to MIP, a bit wiser and OH so grateful that I was welcomed back by so many people,  I named me "mamalioness"  

Anyway, you all have a great weekend!!!  

  Thanks Rosie... you too this weekend... ...

 Our rellies from the USA arrived yesterday... with two friends... One rellie in recent recovery- and the two friends years away- by the look of it!

 But that's life...  ...

So nice to here the story- of the origins of your new nym... ...a treat to hear, my friend...  ...