A journey begins- with the first step... ...may seem like a cliche... but it is true for me.
First meeting- this member stabs the air with her finger... when you are point the finger- there are three pointing right back at you... ...
also from the same person- she had a battered ODAT in her possession- the spine was falling off the the pages falling out. I thought- that is someone working the programme!
And thirdly- at that same meeting was talk about emotions. This word left an indelible impression- it still does... ...
hotrod said
Nov 21, 2018
Hi David you hve a great memory I was probably in too much distress to remember anything about my first meeting--- except that when I left I felt better.
Emotions are tricky and often difficult to handle. i am sure you have many after your loss .
Please share your emotions as that is how we grow
Iamhere said
Nov 21, 2018
I recall my first meeting - I was not open, I did not want to be there, and as such - ignored the kindness, messages, etc. I returned to try and control, change, cure the chaos in my life for a bit before I got the gift of great desperation and returned to a different group.
I have no doubt the first group was kind, gentle, loving and welcoming....I just didn't 'see' it that way with my own ego/self-serving attitude of the time. I am grateful for a patient, gentle sponsor who gently nudged me to go again, and possibly try a different meeting!
I so agree that emotions are tricky and at times, for me, hard to identify. My go to is 'self-righteous anger' - the only emotion I knew before recovery. Today, when I feel the rise in my body, I do all that I can to pause and consider what am I really feeling. More often than not, it's disappointment, sadness, regret, etc. and not anger at all.
Take good care of you - grieve as you need to and know you are not alone!
Hi y'all...
A journey begins- with the first step... ...may seem like a cliche... but it is true for me.
First meeting- this member stabs the air with her finger... when you are point the finger- there are three pointing right back at you...
...
also from the same person- she had a battered ODAT in her possession- the spine was falling off the the pages falling out. I thought- that is someone working the programme!
And thirdly- at that same meeting was talk about emotions. This word left an indelible impression- it still does...
...
Hi David you hve a great memory I was probably in too much distress to remember anything about my first meeting--- except that when I left I felt better.
Emotions are tricky and often difficult to handle. i am sure you have many after your loss .
Please share your emotions as that is how we grow
I have no doubt the first group was kind, gentle, loving and welcoming....I just didn't 'see' it that way with my own ego/self-serving attitude of the time. I am grateful for a patient, gentle sponsor who gently nudged me to go again, and possibly try a different meeting!
I so agree that emotions are tricky and at times, for me, hard to identify. My go to is 'self-righteous anger' - the only emotion I knew before recovery. Today, when I feel the rise in my body, I do all that I can to pause and consider what am I really feeling. More often than not, it's disappointment, sadness, regret, etc. and not anger at all.
Take good care of you - grieve as you need to and know you are not alone!