Aloha Family and good morning. Thank you for allowing me to come and sit and listen and participate in our recovery from the affects of alcoholism and drug addiction in our lives.
Yesterday morning after our morning meeting which is AA founded by several "doubles...Al-Anon's also in AA recovery" I took the opportunity to share with a member who had recently relapsed and restarted. I've known her for a while and respect her recovery spirit. I shared recovery experiences that I learned on my Al-Anon journey which brought her to tears some and while watching her emotional response was reminded of my own as I was learning how devastating this disease is to all who it touches. "It will never be cured...only arrested by total abstinence". She wept as we stood with her reminding her that she isn't a bad person but a sick person taking the treatment to get healthy.
What she cried about was hearing about how horribly I treated my alcoholic/addict wife, the reality of which still causes me to stand very close to my Higher Power.
I am always shocked at how even the deep feelings of guilt and shame at times are not enough to lessen and arrest the insanity of my disease and then the good part is that they keep me in HP's company. (((((Hugs)))))
tiredtonite said
Nov 19, 2018
(((Jerry))) You are absolutely not alone concerning this. So much of my own troubles come from reacting rather than responding to people, places and things. I heard from an oldtimer in the other program once that alcoholics are "sensitive" people. The first things that came to mind were philosophers, nature lovers, poets. But of course he meant nothing of the sort. Although all of those things could be so as well. Perhaps those of us in Alanon too can be regarded as "sensitive" people. For alcoholics and family members there is a sensitivity to alcohol. Both are affected spiritually, physically and mentally whether drinking or not.
I agree, like you, my spiritual condition is what best guides my thoughts and actions. When I begin to think I've got this and forget to check in with hp, I get in trouble. It begins with stinking thinking and progresses to outward action.
I think sometimes what I need if I will just allow it is to go on a mini retreat of sorts with my higher power, surrender my whole day to hp, turn off the technology, read readings, go for a walk, invite my higher power, express to my hp that I need the help only they can provide to be a better person and ask to be guided, also to express gratitude and particulary for all the beauty that is present on that walk. In my saddest, most remourseful moments; I know the god of my understanding is waiting for that invitation and has not abandoned me. I am safe to put all of myself in hp's hands for care.
I hope you will keep sharing your way through this with us and your own higher power. We are always going to be working in progress but hp likes us that way because as you mentioned it draws us to our hp for love and help. ((hugs)) TT
hotrod said
Nov 19, 2018
((( Jerry)) I agree. Processing my experiences using alanon tools such as examining my motives- really helped to shed light on "MY DISEASE. Listening to the ESH of others helped me to develop faith in my HP and alanon and for that I am forever grateful . Thanks for your continued honesty
Iamhere said
Nov 19, 2018
I can remember how angry I was when Al-Anon was suggested.....in my (ego) way of thinking, I was working daily to not drink and to be selfless, of service, etc. --- why on EARTH did I need to do more work on ME???
Fast forward to the present and I truly feel blessed to be a member of both sides of this coin. I learned in AA how very damaging alcohol is, as well as how extremely cunning, baffling, powerful, progressive and patient it is. I also sat with a gal pal who relapsed recently and could physically feel her grief, pain, shame, etc. I believe, for me, it is my Al-Anon program that helps me be patient, compassionate and responsive in a gentle manner for those in need.
With only my AA training, I would have leaned on what I heard - if you don't drink, you won't get drunk. Next time, call someone first. These are all logical responses I've heard for years and years and cross-talk and advice flows much more freely in AA. It is in Al-Anon that I've learned to just listen, ask if I can be of service and offer a prayer or a hug for a better today.
I lost another AA program friend a week ago to suicide. This person was sober when he passed, but his internal pain was so great that his solution for his pain was to jump off a bridge. We are shaken as a group and a family and are grieving greatly as this (again) not someone who showed outwardly this level of pain.
My son is temporarily here while he waits to get back into an Oxford House. It is every tool in Al-Anon that allows me to not take his rants personally and to just bite my tongue. It's what you have taught me that allows me to gently ask what I can do to help. It's what was shown to me in Al-Anon that allows me to walk up, give a hug when he's calling me names and lashing out. My HP is reminding me how painful and insane early recovery is in a variety of ways of late.
And yes - it is only possible for me to enjoy each day in lieu of 'life' and 'others' by aligning myself as best I can with a power greater than I. I'm grateful to both programs for a deep faith in a power I can't see that I know carries me when I am stumbling or falling down.
(((Hugs))) Jerry - speaking only for myself, I guess I need constant reminders of being an imperfect person working to be a better version of me.
mamalioness said
Nov 20, 2018
(((((((((((((Jerry)))))))))))) thanks for the powerful share....when I stray from HP, my disease comes back in
Sunday, I was on the couch ALL day, meditating, surrendering my defects, fears, ego, fighting things, surrendering ME to my HP of my understanding..visualizing it, deep breathing...I did not answer my phone, turn on the telly, I totally had quiet, save for my dogs, letting me know its bathroom break, but I was in total quiet....I needed it...I've had too many stupid, irritating things of late happen to me, the latest of which is a security alert on my credit and now I can't have my potential electric providers check my credit so that means I would have to put up a deposit....i just shut down tonight and SCREAMED......HP, I CANT keep dodging bullets....HELP ME...CLEANSE me of the negative energies......I mean I screamed!!! Called a friend of mine and found out HE is a rep for a a very good company and HE is gonna see what good contract HE can get me on....he thinks he can equal the one I have now, that is running out and will change to THREE CENTS more per kwh if I stay with them.....its true, I screamed....I"VE HAD ENOUGH.....HELP ME.....then I just went to gym and i MADE myself let go....detach....I wrote a letter to Experian telling them to lift this hold..have to do it snail mail, can't do it online, so time is running out, but I'm hoping my friend can help....if not, I'll have to try another way to get my credit available to companies....good thing I found out about this now, as I have 14 days to fix this......anyway, I am going to LEAN on HP a lot more as I am getting worn out of late and i am NOT fighting the stuff, I have, honest, I have been letting go/detaching..seems the more I let go, the more the negatives toss at me to "see" if i am sincere..dunno, but I yelled out loud, tonight, for HP to help me........I don't know how people can live w/out program and a higher power....i just don't know how they can do it......I would go nuts if I didn't have program and my inner HP that connects me to universe......
Lyne said
Nov 20, 2018
Jerry, your share today reminded me of the very first alcoholic I cam into contact with. He was my 6th grade teacher and would act so strangely at times. He could be mean and embarrass students. In the spring he just disappeared without explanation for the last few months of school.
The next alcoholic I had contact with was when I was about 21 in a fancy office setting in Boston. This woman had a brown paper bag in her purse and at times her face would be completely flushed red. She also disappeared one day without explanation .
My FOO gave me an ACOA background, but it was an adult child of anger. That set me up to find drug addicted and alcoholic partners/spouse's for my entire life. It's still a mystery which I kind of get, but then why don't folks want help with their addictions? I certainly want help with my damage , Lyne
Jozie said
Nov 20, 2018
(((Jerry)))
Always Thank you For Coming here and Sharing your Story with us...
I was Looking back on my Addict behaviors as well this week, and one I mastered within my Disease was Manipulation, and being a lady back then meant I could get what ever I wanted, with the right words, actions and attention... It didn't always pan out like I Manipulated it to do, but more then not, I Got what I Wanted, Even if at the time I didn't know... "I Really didn't Want it!" I Just wanted the Attention that Came with Having it!
This Disease is Cunning not just to those Dealing with the Addicts, but Also to US Addicts... When I Look back on how I Used Alcohol to get the Things I Selfishly "Thought" I Wanted, I'm Sickened by the angles I would work... I Used people to fill my emptiness, and sometimes at the expense of Loosing those I Truly Cared about, but never knowing how to "Make the Amends" to them, or Myself...
I Really have to Jump under HP's Wings most days to Stop trying to Manipulate situations and People, to get the Out come "I" Think I should have... Its been hard to Break a habit that has come so Freely to the old me... I'm Grateful for a Program that allows me the decency to accept I'm Human, but also an HP that is of a Kind & Loving God as I Understand...
I guess Being a Black out Drinker Saved me Some Greif as I Don't remember a lot of what I did, but I Could always feel it in my Soul when I Knew I Did something Wrong, but Couldn't know what it was...
Thank you for Sharing your Story not just with me, but with those struggling in finding the light that so many of us have Found, in Support and Love of this Program... I know I Couldn't be Grateful enough to know that there are People that Truly Care, even when I Can't stand myself...
I Can Honestly say, that HERE, at MIP I Have Never Met a Stranger, Nor have I Ever Felt Judged or let down by my Misery, and Self Loathing... I have Experienced Nothing but Love & Understanding...
Forever Grateful Member
Jozie
Bo said
Nov 20, 2018
Jerry, thank you so very much for sharing.
While I am not a "double winner" -- as I've heard so many people refer to it as -- and I am not in AA, I've immersed myself in alanon and recovery for a quarter of a century. In addition, I've also done a great deal of work in the adult education arena, advanced work, education, learning, and the "self help" term, which I am not always a fan of. That said, in my experience, if I had to identify only one thing that most people in alanon either gloss over or miss completely -- and it is not necessarily intentional, conscious, or whatever you want to call it -- is being completely open and honest.
That said, I've always felt that in alanon, it's alanon. In the opening of many meetings I've attended around the country, they say to please focus on the alanon approach, as it is a different approach, with and from a different perspective. They often ask members of other 12-step programs/fellowships, to remain anonymous and limit their sharing to alanon. Be that as it may -- your sharing, and your perspective sounds as if it is so extremely healthy for you and contributes so much to your recovery. You are one of the very few who I feel that about, and I get that when I read your shares and your perspective.
While we in alanon understand how alcoholism is a truly cunning, baffling, insidious, etc., disease -- we do not "analyze" and try to rationalize and justify the alcoholic's behavior, actions, etc. I chuckle -- but so believe -- the old cliche, you can always tell when an alcoholic is lying...their mouth is moving. LOL. An alcoholic, who is active, is lying when they are talking. I get it. LOL.
More to the point, thank you for your share. We have compassion. It is important. We pray for the alcoholic. It is important. However, what is more important is for US to not have and harbor that anger and resentment that comes so often with this disease, and the collateral and direct damage that this disease causes.
Thank you so much Jerry.
JerryF said
Nov 20, 2018
I review the evidence I experience while reading and re-reading all of your responses to this post. I have been blessed with almost photographic memory. At times I don't consider it a blessing because the emotional memory is present also and strong.
Yesterday I made my VA appointment so that I can continue the "great health" my VA doctor says he witnesses in me and I had an answer to his question about my emotional well being which has resulted in future sessions with a VA therapist I respect. I have stopped listening to my own experiences which allowed them to cunningly, powerfully not so baffling "arrive back home" with all of the non-working solutions I use to practice within reactions that to degree brought me into the program and also to MIP to listen and learn and recover. There is no accurate measurement of my acceptance and gratitude for the peace of mind and serenity I have received.
I had not continued to consider my own experiences and forgot the caveat that if I will not continue this program as given and taught and practiced with me, it will all come back. My experiences are real and by volume way beyond what I have shared in the past.
Focusing on and assisting others with their recovery isn't the same as working for and participating in my own and just recently my deep past has become vivid and you know as well as I that it cannot be sluffed off. It must be dealt with the help of others. My sponsor is on another island and I have not found some one else believing I can handle what ever comes along...yet I am not my own patient or Higher Power and my Higher Power's response to how I have been handling things and the consequences is "Oh well" meaning "it is what it is".
I was born and raised in this disease and while I have learned and practiced so many solutions to it I also have been falling back on the insanity of my old experiences. No...for me it never goes away and I need a stronger practice of what I have learned over the years in the rooms of Al-Anon and AA and here in MIP so that I can have another day at its time. What ever works right? and so I am adding a therapist taking my bad of recovery tools and tricks with me. She has also learned from our program experiences so the recovery will be mutual and good. I am not doing it for her.
Thank you God for this family and all it has provided me with your guidance and willingness. Mahalo MIP ((((()))))
Temple said
Nov 20, 2018
Dear, Dear Jerry,
You are the gift that keeps on giving. And I don't know what we would do without you
You're like the North Star.
You will lick this. You have all the gifts.
Thank you for being in our lives. And for showing the way. And for sharing the love and wisdom of your sponsor.
Hugs,
Temple
Iamhere said
Nov 20, 2018
(((Brother))) - you got this! I am truly humbled by your willingness to go to any lengths...You are not alone my friend and know that my prayers continue for you and all in recovery each day, as well as for those who need recovery but have not yet claimed their seat.
JerryF said
Nov 20, 2018
Bo I understand what you said and while much of the input on the MIP Al-Anon board is Al-Anon speak it is not Al-Anon as our founder John wanted to make sure of. One of the helpful acknowledgements I was given years ago by the VA counselor was that Al-Anon and AA are "Social Model Recovery" forms and truly I came to understand that. Drunks helping Drunks and Family members helping Family members is how I arrived and then stayed in this process I consider recover. How many have been touched and helped by the many who have touched and helped me?...I no longer count and still say "Thank you God". I have often been asked by professionals in the fields of mental, emotional and behavioral therapy where I learned what I have shared in the counseling sessions and it is easiest to reply "via social model participation". "I learned it thru others who learned it thru others". MIP has many others who teach me just as your self, from many sources. My current sponsor is younger in age than I yet very knowledgeable about my culture and our disease with recovery from it. His human nature experience is strong and very helpful. I have long former experience with Alateen as a sponsor and learned so very much from them.
The most favorite slogan I have from Al-Anon was given to me at my home group and which I came to understand when I resigned myself from resistance to the program and then started to grow. "If you keep and open mind...you will find help". I listen to it all; the spoken and non-spoken. I have a cultural gift in that the Hawaiian experiences were and are often passed on metaphorically...the speaking as if in pictures. I see what is being said. I get it.
Try sitting in on some open AA and NA meetings and "see" what you hear there. Keep coming back. ((((Hugs))))
Bo said
Nov 20, 2018
Jerry, thanks for your comments. I've gone to countless open AA meetings over 25 years...and professionally have been indoctrinated into AA, to whatever extent possible, albeit that I am not an alcoholic. So, it can't be as complete or absolute as someone who is. I still continue to go to open AA meetings. I still feel, share, live, me -- what I feel, share, and live.
That said, I speak, share, and my perspective comes from that of alanon. It's what I am comfortable with, it's who I am. I did not mean to trivialize or minimize any other speak, share, perspective, and certainly not that of AA. However, my comments are my experience and my perspective...and I expect them to differ from others' and especially those who are in AA. And, of course I wasn't speaking to MIP and what it is, should or shouldn't be. So, I just shared my experience and my perspective. If we disagree on anything, that's fine. That's why we take what we like and leave the rest. Thanks.
JerryF said
Nov 20, 2018
It is what it is Bo...we are guided by 1 and many. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
Aloha Family and good morning. Thank you for allowing me to come and sit and listen and participate in our recovery from the affects of alcoholism and drug addiction in our lives.
Yesterday morning after our morning meeting which is AA founded by several "doubles...Al-Anon's also in AA recovery" I took the opportunity to share with a member who had recently relapsed and restarted. I've known her for a while and respect her recovery spirit. I shared recovery experiences that I learned on my Al-Anon journey which brought her to tears some and while watching her emotional response was reminded of my own as I was learning how devastating this disease is to all who it touches. "It will never be cured...only arrested by total abstinence". She wept as we stood with her reminding her that she isn't a bad person but a sick person taking the treatment to get healthy.
What she cried about was hearing about how horribly I treated my alcoholic/addict wife, the reality of which still causes me to stand very close to my Higher Power.
I am always shocked at how even the deep feelings of guilt and shame at times are not enough to lessen and arrest the insanity of my disease and then the good part is that they keep me in HP's company. (((((Hugs)))))
(((Jerry))) You are absolutely not alone concerning this. So much of my own troubles come from reacting rather than responding to people, places and things. I heard from an oldtimer in the other program once that alcoholics are "sensitive" people. The first things that came to mind were philosophers, nature lovers, poets. But of course he meant nothing of the sort. Although all of those things could be so as well. Perhaps those of us in Alanon too can be regarded as "sensitive" people. For alcoholics and family members there is a sensitivity to alcohol. Both are affected spiritually, physically and mentally whether drinking or not.
I agree, like you, my spiritual condition is what best guides my thoughts and actions. When I begin to think I've got this and forget to check in with hp, I get in trouble. It begins with stinking thinking and progresses to outward action.
I think sometimes what I need if I will just allow it is to go on a mini retreat of sorts with my higher power, surrender my whole day to hp, turn off the technology, read readings, go for a walk, invite my higher power, express to my hp that I need the help only they can provide to be a better person and ask to be guided, also to express gratitude and particulary for all the beauty that is present on that walk. In my saddest, most remourseful moments; I know the god of my understanding is waiting for that invitation and has not abandoned me. I am safe to put all of myself in hp's hands for care.
I hope you will keep sharing your way through this with us and your own higher power. We are always going to be working in progress but hp likes us that way because as you mentioned it draws us to our hp for love and help. ((hugs)) TT
((( Jerry)) I agree. Processing my experiences using alanon tools such as examining my motives- really helped to shed light on "MY DISEASE. Listening to the ESH of others helped me to develop faith in my HP and alanon and for that I am forever grateful . Thanks for your continued honesty
Fast forward to the present and I truly feel blessed to be a member of both sides of this coin. I learned in AA how very damaging alcohol is, as well as how extremely cunning, baffling, powerful, progressive and patient it is. I also sat with a gal pal who relapsed recently and could physically feel her grief, pain, shame, etc. I believe, for me, it is my Al-Anon program that helps me be patient, compassionate and responsive in a gentle manner for those in need.
With only my AA training, I would have leaned on what I heard - if you don't drink, you won't get drunk. Next time, call someone first. These are all logical responses I've heard for years and years and cross-talk and advice flows much more freely in AA. It is in Al-Anon that I've learned to just listen, ask if I can be of service and offer a prayer or a hug for a better today.
I lost another AA program friend a week ago to suicide. This person was sober when he passed, but his internal pain was so great that his solution for his pain was to jump off a bridge. We are shaken as a group and a family and are grieving greatly as this (again) not someone who showed outwardly this level of pain.
My son is temporarily here while he waits to get back into an Oxford House. It is every tool in Al-Anon that allows me to not take his rants personally and to just bite my tongue. It's what you have taught me that allows me to gently ask what I can do to help. It's what was shown to me in Al-Anon that allows me to walk up, give a hug when he's calling me names and lashing out. My HP is reminding me how painful and insane early recovery is in a variety of ways of late.
And yes - it is only possible for me to enjoy each day in lieu of 'life' and 'others' by aligning myself as best I can with a power greater than I. I'm grateful to both programs for a deep faith in a power I can't see that I know carries me when I am stumbling or falling down.
(((Hugs))) Jerry - speaking only for myself, I guess I need constant reminders of being an imperfect person working to be a better version of me.
Sunday, I was on the couch ALL day, meditating, surrendering my defects, fears, ego, fighting things, surrendering ME to my HP of my understanding..visualizing it, deep breathing...I did not answer my phone, turn on the telly, I totally had quiet, save for my dogs, letting me know its bathroom break, but I was in total quiet....I needed it...I've had too many stupid, irritating things of late happen to me, the latest of which is a security alert on my credit and now I can't have my potential electric providers check my credit so that means I would have to put up a deposit....i just shut down tonight and SCREAMED......HP, I CANT keep dodging bullets....HELP ME...CLEANSE me of the negative energies......I mean I screamed!!! Called a friend of mine and found out HE is a rep for a a very good company and HE is gonna see what good contract HE can get me on....he thinks he can equal the one I have now, that is running out and will change to THREE CENTS more per kwh if I stay with them.....its true, I screamed....I"VE HAD ENOUGH.....HELP ME.....then I just went to gym and i MADE myself let go....detach....I wrote a letter to Experian telling them to lift this hold..have to do it snail mail, can't do it online, so time is running out, but I'm hoping my friend can help....if not, I'll have to try another way to get my credit available to companies....good thing I found out about this now, as I have 14 days to fix this......anyway, I am going to LEAN on HP a lot more as I am getting worn out of late and i am NOT fighting the stuff, I have, honest, I have been letting go/detaching..seems the more I let go, the more the negatives toss at me to "see" if i am sincere..dunno, but I yelled out loud, tonight, for HP to help me........I don't know how people can live w/out program and a higher power....i just don't know how they can do it......I would go nuts if I didn't have program and my inner HP that connects me to universe......
The next alcoholic I had contact with was when I was about 21 in a fancy office setting in Boston. This woman had a brown paper bag in her purse and at times her face would be completely flushed red. She also disappeared one day without explanation .
My FOO gave me an ACOA background, but it was an adult child of anger. That set me up to find drug addicted and alcoholic partners/spouse's for my entire life. It's still a mystery which I kind of get, but then why don't folks want help with their addictions? I certainly want help with my damage , Lyne
Always Thank you For Coming here and Sharing your Story with us...
I was Looking back on my Addict behaviors as well this week, and one I mastered within my Disease was Manipulation, and being a lady back then meant I could get what ever I wanted, with the right words, actions and attention... It didn't always pan out like I Manipulated it to do, but more then not, I Got what I Wanted, Even if at the time I didn't know... "I Really didn't Want it!" I Just wanted the Attention that Came with Having it!
This Disease is Cunning not just to those Dealing with the Addicts, but Also to US Addicts... When I Look back on how I Used Alcohol to get the Things I Selfishly "Thought" I Wanted, I'm Sickened by the angles I would work... I Used people to fill my emptiness, and sometimes at the expense of Loosing those I Truly Cared about, but never knowing how to "Make the Amends" to them, or Myself...
I Really have to Jump under HP's Wings most days to Stop trying to Manipulate situations and People, to get the Out come "I" Think I should have... Its been hard to Break a habit that has come so Freely to the old me... I'm Grateful for a Program that allows me the decency to accept I'm Human, but also an HP that is of a Kind & Loving God as I Understand...
I guess Being a Black out Drinker Saved me Some Greif as I Don't remember a lot of what I did, but I Could always feel it in my Soul when I Knew I Did something Wrong, but Couldn't know what it was...
Thank you for Sharing your Story not just with me, but with those struggling in finding the light that so many of us have Found, in Support and Love of this Program... I know I Couldn't be Grateful enough to know that there are People that Truly Care, even when I Can't stand myself...
I Can Honestly say, that HERE, at MIP I Have Never Met a Stranger, Nor have I Ever Felt Judged or let down by my Misery, and Self Loathing... I have Experienced Nothing but Love & Understanding...
Forever Grateful Member
Jozie
While I am not a "double winner" -- as I've heard so many people refer to it as -- and I am not in AA, I've immersed myself in alanon and recovery for a quarter of a century. In addition, I've also done a great deal of work in the adult education arena, advanced work, education, learning, and the "self help" term, which I am not always a fan of. That said, in my experience, if I had to identify only one thing that most people in alanon either gloss over or miss completely -- and it is not necessarily intentional, conscious, or whatever you want to call it -- is being completely open and honest.
That said, I've always felt that in alanon, it's alanon. In the opening of many meetings I've attended around the country, they say to please focus on the alanon approach, as it is a different approach, with and from a different perspective. They often ask members of other 12-step programs/fellowships, to remain anonymous and limit their sharing to alanon. Be that as it may -- your sharing, and your perspective sounds as if it is so extremely healthy for you and contributes so much to your recovery. You are one of the very few who I feel that about, and I get that when I read your shares and your perspective.
While we in alanon understand how alcoholism is a truly cunning, baffling, insidious, etc., disease -- we do not "analyze" and try to rationalize and justify the alcoholic's behavior, actions, etc. I chuckle -- but so believe -- the old cliche, you can always tell when an alcoholic is lying...their mouth is moving. LOL. An alcoholic, who is active, is lying when they are talking. I get it. LOL.
More to the point, thank you for your share. We have compassion. It is important. We pray for the alcoholic. It is important. However, what is more important is for US to not have and harbor that anger and resentment that comes so often with this disease, and the collateral and direct damage that this disease causes.
Thank you so much Jerry.
I review the evidence I experience while reading and re-reading all of your responses to this post. I have been blessed with almost photographic memory. At times I don't consider it a blessing because the emotional memory is present also and strong.
Yesterday I made my VA appointment so that I can continue the "great health" my VA doctor says he witnesses in me and I had an answer to his question about my emotional well being which has resulted in future sessions with a VA therapist I respect. I have stopped listening to my own experiences which allowed them to cunningly, powerfully not so baffling "arrive back home" with all of the non-working solutions I use to practice within reactions that to degree brought me into the program and also to MIP to listen and learn and recover. There is no accurate measurement of my acceptance and gratitude for the peace of mind and serenity I have received.
I had not continued to consider my own experiences and forgot the caveat that if I will not continue this program as given and taught and practiced with me, it will all come back. My experiences are real and by volume way beyond what I have shared in the past.
Focusing on and assisting others with their recovery isn't the same as working for and participating in my own and just recently my deep past has become vivid and you know as well as I that it cannot be sluffed off. It must be dealt with the help of others. My sponsor is on another island and I have not found some one else believing I can handle what ever comes along...yet I am not my own patient or Higher Power and my Higher Power's response to how I have been handling things and the consequences is "Oh well" meaning "it is what it is".
I was born and raised in this disease and while I have learned and practiced so many solutions to it I also have been falling back on the insanity of my old experiences. No...for me it never goes away and I need a stronger practice of what I have learned over the years in the rooms of Al-Anon and AA and here in MIP so that I can have another day at its time. What ever works right? and so I am adding a therapist taking my bad of recovery tools and tricks with me. She has also learned from our program experiences so the recovery will be mutual and good. I am not doing it for her.
Thank you God for this family and all it has provided me with your guidance and willingness. Mahalo MIP (((((
)))))
You are the gift that keeps on giving. And I don't know what we would do without you
You're like the North Star.
You will lick this. You have all the gifts.
Thank you for being in our lives. And for showing the way. And for sharing the love and wisdom of your sponsor.
Hugs,
Temple
Bo I understand what you said and while much of the input on the MIP Al-Anon board is Al-Anon speak it is not Al-Anon as our founder John wanted to make sure of. One of the helpful acknowledgements I was given years ago by the VA counselor was that Al-Anon and AA are "Social Model Recovery" forms and truly I came to understand that. Drunks helping Drunks and Family members helping Family members is how I arrived and then stayed in this process I consider recover. How many have been touched and helped by the many who have touched and helped me?...I no longer count and still say "Thank you God". I have often been asked by professionals in the fields of mental, emotional and behavioral therapy where I learned what I have shared in the counseling sessions and it is easiest to reply "via social model participation". "I learned it thru others who learned it thru others". MIP has many others who teach me just as your self, from many sources. My current sponsor is younger in age than I yet very knowledgeable about my culture and our disease with recovery from it. His human nature experience is strong and very helpful. I have long former experience with Alateen as a sponsor and learned so very much from them.
The most favorite slogan I have from Al-Anon was given to me at my home group and which I came to understand when I resigned myself from resistance to the program and then started to grow. "If you keep and open mind...you will find help". I listen to it all; the spoken and non-spoken. I have a cultural gift in that the Hawaiian experiences were and are often passed on metaphorically...the speaking as if in pictures. I see what is being said. I get it.
Try sitting in on some open AA and NA meetings and "see" what you hear there. Keep coming back. ((((Hugs))))
That said, I speak, share, and my perspective comes from that of alanon. It's what I am comfortable with, it's who I am. I did not mean to trivialize or minimize any other speak, share, perspective, and certainly not that of AA. However, my comments are my experience and my perspective...and I expect them to differ from others' and especially those who are in AA. And, of course I wasn't speaking to MIP and what it is, should or shouldn't be. So, I just shared my experience and my perspective. If we disagree on anything, that's fine. That's why we take what we like and leave the rest. Thanks.
It is what it is Bo...we are guided by 1 and many. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))