The active alcoholic in my life has been on one today. Shouting at me, slamming doors in my face etc. He's shut himself in the spare room now - which is actually probably a good thing.
I've been trying to stay calm and pleasant, well behaved through all this. It's really hard not to let it upset me deep down though. I feel all out of sorts now. I've read my book and cuddled the dog. I still feel tearful and my stomach is churning.
Any ideas? How to you keep your serenity in an insane situation?
hotrod said
Nov 9, 2018
Hi lil I have been there and am so very sorry that you are enduring this form of insanity. Reciting the serenity prayer helped as well as attending a face to face meeting and receiving support from like minded members.
We have on line meetings here as well so please check out the chat room for times . Reading Alanon literature also helps.
Please do keep coming back.
Freetime said
Nov 9, 2018
I am sorry you are in this situation. I have felt that way too. Sometimes I found that physical activity - like taking a walk -- helped me to calm down in the moment. If it's too late or bad weather for getting outside, maybe planning something for tomorrow would work, or making a gratitude list. I agree with Betty's suggestion that meetings and talking with people who understand can be a great support.
I am glad you have a dog -- I've found animals always listen, and they don't offer unwanted advice. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
JerryF said
Nov 10, 2018
Aloha Lil99 and have been there and done that also along with other better things I learned in the meeting rooms of Al-Anon. Most helpful and reasonable was to create distance from the trouble...go to a meeting or go one on one with another member and/or my sponsor. Like minded people not only bring me peace of mind and serenity they also bring me new ideas and experiences I can have to learn from and duplicate. The second step says "Came to believe a Power greater than myself could restore me to SANITY and the definition I have for sanity today is "The continuous and orderly presence of mind". Serenity and sanity for me have often been synonymous. Keep on keeping on Lil99 ...prayers and healthy thoughts from Hawaii. (((((hugs)))))
Lil99 said
Nov 10, 2018
Thank you so much for all your ideas - I'm going to need them. I really appreciate the support from this community, so thank you.
Got my face to face Al-Anon meeting on Monday, need it this week
Much love xx
Iamhere said
Nov 10, 2018
(((Lil99))) - I hope today finds peace in your world. I too often put distance between myself and the chaos. A meeting, a long walk with the dog, a trip to the grocery store, a visit to a friend's home.....departing seemed to bring about calm often in my setting. I also made sure I had a plan B for those times when I did not want to return home.
Keep coming back - you are not alone!!
Freetime said
Nov 10, 2018
Hi Lil99, glad to hear you have a meeting soon. IamHere's post reminded me of the helpfulness of having a Plan B. I found it very comforting and empowering to have a "go bag" packed, and a list of places I could go.
Bo said
Nov 10, 2018
I detach...physically/geographically...and then when I do that, I can easily detach emotionally. When drama, chaos, turmoil, and havoc is literally around you...it is very often impossible to detach, not be the collateral damage, not be in the line of fire, and so on.
Once you detach...you have innumerable options.
Lil99 said
Nov 10, 2018
Thank you all, I really do appreciate the encouragement.
Today I went for a long walk with my dog and then visited my Mum. Lots of praying too. I'm feeling a lot better now.
I've returned home this evening and AH has shut himself in the spare room again. At least I'm feeling like my head is in a better place now.
Thanks for reading.
lookingup said
Nov 10, 2018
Lots of great esh givin here,
Your sounding great Ll99,keep coming back,this is a we program,we are all on this journey together.glad you found us.....hugs...LU
JerryF said
Nov 10, 2018
Lil check out Al-Anon World Service site and the literature store...we have lots of super useful literature that we use in meetings and at home also. Being insane is a choice I no longer make and you don't have to either. ((((hugs))))
The active alcoholic in my life has been on one today. Shouting at me, slamming doors in my face etc. He's shut himself in the spare room now - which is actually probably a good thing.
I've been trying to stay calm and pleasant, well behaved through all this. It's really hard not to let it upset me deep down though. I feel all out of sorts now. I've read my book and cuddled the dog. I still feel tearful and my stomach is churning.
Any ideas? How to you keep your serenity in an insane situation?
We have on line meetings here as well so please check out the chat room for times . Reading Alanon literature also helps.
Please do keep coming back.
I am glad you have a dog -- I've found animals always listen, and they don't offer unwanted advice. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
Aloha Lil99 and have been there and done that also along with other better things I learned in the meeting rooms of Al-Anon. Most helpful and reasonable was to create distance from the trouble...go to a meeting or go one on one with another member and/or my sponsor. Like minded people not only bring me peace of mind and serenity they also bring me new ideas and experiences I can have to learn from and duplicate. The second step says "Came to believe a Power greater than myself could restore me to SANITY and the definition I have for sanity today is "The continuous and orderly presence of mind". Serenity and sanity for me have often been synonymous. Keep on keeping on Lil99 ...prayers and healthy thoughts from Hawaii. (((((hugs)))))
Thank you so much for all your ideas - I'm going to need them. I really appreciate the support from this community, so thank you.
Got my face to face Al-Anon meeting on Monday, need it this week
Much love xx
Keep coming back - you are not alone!!
Once you detach...you have innumerable options.
Thank you all, I really do appreciate the encouragement.
Today I went for a long walk with my dog and then visited my Mum. Lots of praying too. I'm feeling a lot better now.
I've returned home this evening and AH has shut himself in the spare room again. At least I'm feeling like my head is in a better place now.
Thanks for reading.
Your sounding great Ll99,keep coming back,this is a we program,we are all on this journey together.glad you found us.....hugs...LU
Lil check out Al-Anon World Service site and the literature store...we have lots of super useful literature that we use in meetings and at home also. Being insane is a choice I no longer make and you don't have to either. ((((hugs))))