Live and let live: The author reflects on their insensitivity at times, which was done with justification. After all, they were right! In Alanon they are learning to let go of the idea that they don't have to make anyone over. It is not their responsibility to decide what other people should do.
Today's Reminder: I am not an insensitive person, but at times I have justified insensitive behavior by claiming to be right. I can respect another's right to make his or her own choices, even when I strongly disagree. My relationships will improve if I can love myself enough to let other people be themselves.
Quote from Peter Marshall: Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with.
I spent years trying to get my A to stop drinking. Nothing changed except I felt worse and worse. Was I right about my A not drinking and driving ? Of course. But my A didn't stop this behavior until I had several years of Alanon under my belt and stopped telling her what to do. These were hard lessons for me to learn because after all, I believed she needed to change and things would all be fine. Live and let live isn't for sissies. It takes a strong person to take a step back and allow others to live their own lives, Lyne
a4l said
Oct 29, 2018
What a great quote. Thanks for the service and the share Lyne. I never considered how live and let live was tied into my justified insensitivity. At times I still do really wholeheartedly beleive I am right and no I am not easy to live with! I think I'm getting better at it, at being gentle but its a balancing act this life, finding a middle ground between extremes. Slowing down and saying, "you may have a point" was something I picked up here. Even if I don't personally consider it to be a valid point.....it's still a point I say to myself when the temptation to proclaim " you're so incredibly wrong!" is strong. I know I've tended to "go off," then overcompensate later and I don't like where that leads. Great thought to go to sleep with.
hotrod said
Oct 29, 2018
Great slogan Lyne Thanks I do believe before program, I allowed others to live their lives but kept myself "frozen " in place. Comparing, judging- fearful of making a mistake.
This small program reminder helped me to see that I needed to live my life with courage and without comparing and judgment one day at a time .
Thanks for your service
Skorpi said
Oct 29, 2018
I just love today's topic. It is one I struggle with in an interesting way. Because I am married to the principle alcoholic in my life, I'm pretty good at staying out of her recovery process and I've learned to bite my tongue when I'm pretty sure she's been drinking. Things are much more harmonious this way. The part I am still struggling with is when her decisions impact my life negatively. We are married, and there is no way around me experiencing negative consequences for her decisions sometimes. I'm trying to find the right balance between setting boundaries and enforcing them, letting her make her own decisions, and the reality of our marriage and the fact that some of her decisions impact me directly. I like to think that I am getting the balance there more "right" with practice.
Iamhere said
Oct 29, 2018
Thank you Lyne for the daily and for your service. Thanks to all for the lovely ESH and shares this morning. I am grateful for this slogan and all others that help us live and thrive one day at a time. We still have some chaos/drama swirling around and I am still extremely sad and worried yet this program gives me the tools to adjust 'me' when I fill up with fear, sadness, etc.
I have more balance today than before recovery. Some days are better than other days. My biggest barrier to balance in my life is I forget that I am not seeking 'perfect balance' - just 'improved balance. It's so easy for 'suggestions' and 'judgment' to pop into my head when dealing with active disease, yet because of you all and this program, I've learned to pause long enough to truly consider what should/should not come out of my mouth.
Practice, practice, and more practice is the best I can do and this slogan helps me to remember we are all imperfect and nobody has the magic answers to all questions! Happy Monday all - off to golf in a while and tacos tonight with gal pals! Make it a great day!
PosiesandPuppies said
Oct 29, 2018
Grateful for all of your shares, and for Lyne's service!
I really like the quote, and then Lyne's admission that Live and Let Live is not for sissies! I so agree! It really takes work!
JerryF said
Oct 29, 2018
I woke up to Peter Marshalls prayer and feel gratitude it was in our Courage to Change and then I came here to the family's shares and feel grateful and blessed to have been invited and allowed a membership in the "Family Groups". I will hold on to these gifts and allow the peace to continue. Mahalo my MIP Family. ((((MIP))))
mamalioness said
Nov 1, 2018
thanks Lyne for this share...oh yea, even when they are wrong and maybe hastening their own demise, I have to live and let live...I cannot control my brother's drinking...the little drug addict is still missing...hes in the streets, somewhere in either Orange Country or Riverside County , CAlifornia.....doing his drugs....so I have to live and let live....my closer brother, the one who is good enough to check in with me from time to time, i don't even bring up his drinking and what it is costing him...his lesson to overcome, not mine....I quit begging, pleading, etc., long ago and our relationship is actually better because I backed off and butted out....
Live and let live: The author reflects on their insensitivity at times, which was done with justification. After all, they were right! In Alanon they are learning to let go of the idea that they don't have to make anyone over. It is not their responsibility to decide what other people should do.
Today's Reminder: I am not an insensitive person, but at times I have justified insensitive behavior by claiming to be right. I can respect another's right to make his or her own choices, even when I strongly disagree. My relationships will improve if I can love myself enough to let other people be themselves.
Quote from Peter Marshall: Lord, when we are wrong, make us willing to change. And when we are right, make us easy to live with.
----------------------------------------------------------------
I spent years trying to get my A to stop drinking. Nothing changed except I felt worse and worse. Was I right about my A not drinking and driving ? Of course. But my A didn't stop this behavior until I had several years of Alanon under my belt and stopped telling her what to do. These were hard lessons for me to learn because after all, I believed she needed to change and things would all be fine. Live and let live isn't for sissies. It takes a strong person to take a step back and allow others to live their own lives, Lyne
This small program reminder helped me to see that I needed to live my life with courage and without comparing and judgment one day at a time .
Thanks for your service
I have more balance today than before recovery. Some days are better than other days. My biggest barrier to balance in my life is I forget that I am not seeking 'perfect balance' - just 'improved balance. It's so easy for 'suggestions' and 'judgment' to pop into my head when dealing with active disease, yet because of you all and this program, I've learned to pause long enough to truly consider what should/should not come out of my mouth.
Practice, practice, and more practice is the best I can do and this slogan helps me to remember we are all imperfect and nobody has the magic answers to all questions! Happy Monday all - off to golf in a while and tacos tonight with gal pals! Make it a great day!
I really like the quote, and then Lyne's admission that Live and Let Live is not for sissies! I so agree! It really takes work!
I woke up to Peter Marshalls prayer and feel gratitude it was in our Courage to Change and then I came here to the family's shares and feel grateful and blessed to have been invited and allowed a membership in the "Family Groups". I will hold on to these gifts and allow the peace to continue. Mahalo my MIP Family. ((((MIP))))
thanks Lyne for this share...oh yea, even when they are wrong and maybe hastening their own demise, I have to live and let live...I cannot control my brother's drinking...the little drug addict is still missing...hes in the streets, somewhere in either Orange Country or Riverside County , CAlifornia.....doing his drugs....so I have to live and let live....my closer brother, the one who is good enough to check in with me from time to time, i don't even bring up his drinking and what it is costing him...his lesson to overcome, not mine....I quit begging, pleading, etc., long ago and our relationship is actually better because I backed off and butted out....