Aloha Family...just had to check in before taking off to my morning meeting and saying that the daily reading in Hope for Today was for me, right on. It details the journey of one of our fellows in restoring self esteem after loosing it coming from the alcoholic family. I found it so right on that I wanted to share it. 10/27/18 in the Hope for Today. Enjoy. (((((hugs)))))
DavidG said
Oct 27, 2018
Thanks Jerry... I rummaged through the book between 7/3 and 3/7 and found the reading.
My SO is not an alcoholic but has another addiction- with exactly the same attributes.
The same crazy-making behaviour described in the reading blighted our family life. And it was always my fault! It was a repeat of the family dysfunction in my childhood.
The same thing happened yesterday over a couple of light bulbs. Same trigger- same pattern.
It might be my fault sometimes- and my doing. but not every single time, surely... ???
So I nearly fell into the same trap yesterday. Our kids always believed that was a terrible person- because their mother told them so.
And every round in the ring I was due to fail- because this was what i had learned was normal. No way out of the ring.
This time I shared the whole incident with another member- and I got the feedback that i was not to blame. I had no need to add to my whole heap of shame.
I did not try to patch up, or appease this time... I just got on with my day.
They say you caint teach an old dog new tricks... ???
But we can learn and teach ourselves- no time like the present. ...
aroha mai... thanks jerry...
JerryF said
Oct 28, 2018
Thanks David...that reminded me what I had to learn to change it and one of those things was leaving my family of origin an focusing on redoing my life. My family wondered what I was doing and in the end liked/loved the outcome for me. Free at last, Free at last...Thank God I am free at last. ((((hugs))))
a4l said
Oct 29, 2018
I didn't get a chance to post on this one though I looked up the reading before uni yesterday. I look forward to free at last and liked how the writers road to self esteem was done slowly but surely. It's probably where I'm at right now in my own recovery plus being home...but slow seems to be the key to everything in my life now, in a good way. Slow progress, slow but steady crafting of the life I want, slow consideration before deciding. And I swear, not rushing is giving such a sense of achievement. Not justifying. Not explaining or defending. Just focusing on school and where I want to develop as a person based on my values. Thanks to you both for the shares.
Aloha Family...just had to check in before taking off to my morning meeting and saying that the daily reading in Hope for Today was for me, right on. It details the journey of one of our fellows in restoring self esteem after loosing it coming from the alcoholic family. I found it so right on that I wanted to share it. 10/27/18 in the Hope for Today. Enjoy. (((((hugs)))))
My SO is not an alcoholic but has another addiction- with exactly the same attributes.
The same crazy-making behaviour described in the reading blighted our family life. And it was always my fault! It was a repeat of the family dysfunction in my childhood.
The same thing happened yesterday over a couple of light bulbs. Same trigger- same pattern.
It might be my fault sometimes- and my doing. but not every single time, surely... ???
So I nearly fell into the same trap yesterday. Our kids always believed that was a terrible person- because their mother told them so.
And every round in the ring I was due to fail- because this was what i had learned was normal. No way out of the ring.
This time I shared the whole incident with another member- and I got the feedback that i was not to blame. I had no need to add to my whole heap of shame.
I did not try to patch up, or appease this time... I just got on with my day.
They say you caint teach an old dog new tricks... ???
But we can learn and teach ourselves- no time like the present.
...
aroha mai...
thanks jerry...
Thanks David...that reminded me what I had to learn to change it and one of those things was leaving my family of origin an focusing on redoing my life. My family wondered what I was doing and in the end liked/loved the outcome for me. Free at last, Free at last...Thank God I am free at last. ((((hugs))))