In today's reading, the author reflects on expectations that many newcomers have for AlAnon. Many of us may have been governed by a strict rule of order as a way to feel that we had some control living with the disease of Alcoholism. We may have expected a program as successful as AlAnon to be even more rigid than we were! The author shares how surprised they were to learn that in AlAnon, we are each free to work the Steps at our own pace, that no one was in charge, but that everyone was in charge, that questions could be asked and discussed as they came up. Time in the program helped the author to realize that the group is guided by a Higher Power, that HP speaks through the group conscious, that each member contributes to the well-being of the group, and that the Traditions are suggestions, not rules.
Today's reminder: If I take on service responsibilities in my group, it does not mean that I now run the show. Today I will remember that the ultimate authority is a Higher Power who works through all of us.
Today's Quote: "Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." Tradition Nine
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I have to admit, I was a bit disheartened when I arrived at AlAnon and no one seemed to be in charge. No one could give me THE answer. The people who had been in the program for a while shared their experience, strength, and hope, and I was able to think through my problems in a different way thanks to their shares. Most importantly, I learned that no one "had it all figured out" and that we were all struggling with one thing or another in life. We were all working to be the best versions of ourselves that we could be, and we were all going at our own pace, as we were ready.
Because of tradition 9 I've avoided service positions, including leading in meetings, as much as possible. I tend to lead a lot at work and with my family, so I was trying to apply tradition 9 to my program work. Over the past few years, I've realized that total avoidance also is not in the spirit of tradition 9. All group members are needed, and everyone can and should contribute to the leadership of the group. I'm not confident that I've found the correct balance yet between non-dominance and service, but it is something I work on and am constantly aware of.
It's official now, 7 days until the conference I am planning starts. I'm trying to keep up with a bunch of last-minute items, make time for myself and my own self-care, show up for my recovery community and sponcees, and be present with my family. This time, I'm not letting my own self-care fall to the wayside, which is my usual approach to stressful situations or too many things to accomplish in too little time. Evidence of the program at work
hotrod said
Oct 17, 2018
Good Morning Skorpi I love the fact that Alanon is a fellowship of equals and that this powerful principle is basic to face too face meetings as well as our interactions with each other . It is indeed a new way to participate but extremely beneficial to my serenity and well being . Thanks for your honesty and service
Lyne said
Oct 17, 2018
Thanks Skorpi and Betty. I like that in my F2F meeting, we are all in charge. We learn from one another. No one is above me or below me. Each person's share can offer something to me if I am open and listening. I have made it a point to share at every meeting I've attended. Once I hit the one year mark, I decided that because I am so grateful for the program and my group, that I should lead every couple of months. So I do. And all of these factors around my F2F meeting offer me healing and growth. Grateful member, Lyne
PosiesandPuppies said
Oct 17, 2018
Thank you for your service skorpi! It is wonderful to here your program working in such a fabulous way with dealing with your conference! May your HP allow you to shine with this!!
This daily reminded me that I love how this goes at your own pace. The Al-Anon member can move forward in the time that is right for them!
Happy Hump Day Y'all! LOL!
Iamhere said
Oct 17, 2018
Thanks all for the ESH and shares. Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. I too was a bit crazy when I arrived and just wanted the answers. I did not want to focus on me and I certainly did not want to believe I was part of the problem. Yet, there was magic in the rooms, and I did feel and see something I truly wanted - real joy, serenity and peace.
I now fully respect that we are all equals and I can learn from everybody. Younger, older, richer, poorer, wiser, dumber - none of this matters in recovery as being open and willing matters more than anything. Being able to let go of control is one of the most freeing experiences I have had in my life, and today I will do anything necessary to keep hold of my serenity.
Happy hump day all - golfed this morning and off to lessons in a while. Hope the sun is shining where you are and your day is grand!!!
a4l said
Oct 17, 2018
All the best for the conference Skorpi and thanks for the service! A fellowship of equals who don't come here well including me is my humility reminder though often my Almighty Brain seeks to usurp that. It is here that I have come to respect and admire strength in its pure form, from within. The lady taming the lion with bare hands and bare feet rather than bashing it into submission. I aspire to that. Great day to all.
In today's reading, the author reflects on expectations that many newcomers have for AlAnon. Many of us may have been governed by a strict rule of order as a way to feel that we had some control living with the disease of Alcoholism. We may have expected a program as successful as AlAnon to be even more rigid than we were! The author shares how surprised they were to learn that in AlAnon, we are each free to work the Steps at our own pace, that no one was in charge, but that everyone was in charge, that questions could be asked and discussed as they came up. Time in the program helped the author to realize that the group is guided by a Higher Power, that HP speaks through the group conscious, that each member contributes to the well-being of the group, and that the Traditions are suggestions, not rules.
Today's reminder: If I take on service responsibilities in my group, it does not mean that I now run the show. Today I will remember that the ultimate authority is a Higher Power who works through all of us.
Today's Quote: "Our groups, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve." Tradition Nine
-----------------
I have to admit, I was a bit disheartened when I arrived at AlAnon and no one seemed to be in charge. No one could give me THE answer. The people who had been in the program for a while shared their experience, strength, and hope, and I was able to think through my problems in a different way thanks to their shares. Most importantly, I learned that no one "had it all figured out" and that we were all struggling with one thing or another in life. We were all working to be the best versions of ourselves that we could be, and we were all going at our own pace, as we were ready.
Because of tradition 9 I've avoided service positions, including leading in meetings, as much as possible. I tend to lead a lot at work and with my family, so I was trying to apply tradition 9 to my program work. Over the past few years, I've realized that total avoidance also is not in the spirit of tradition 9. All group members are needed, and everyone can and should contribute to the leadership of the group. I'm not confident that I've found the correct balance yet between non-dominance and service, but it is something I work on and am constantly aware of.
It's official now, 7 days until the conference I am planning starts. I'm trying to keep up with a bunch of last-minute items, make time for myself and my own self-care, show up for my recovery community and sponcees, and be present with my family. This time, I'm not letting my own self-care fall to the wayside, which is my usual approach to stressful situations or too many things to accomplish in too little time. Evidence of the program at work
Good Morning Skorpi I love the fact that Alanon is a fellowship of equals and that this powerful principle is basic to face too face meetings as well as our interactions with each other . It is indeed a new way to participate but extremely beneficial to my serenity and well being . Thanks for your honesty and service
This daily reminded me that I love how this goes at your own pace. The Al-Anon member can move forward in the time that is right for them!
Happy Hump Day Y'all! LOL!
I now fully respect that we are all equals and I can learn from everybody. Younger, older, richer, poorer, wiser, dumber - none of this matters in recovery as being open and willing matters more than anything. Being able to let go of control is one of the most freeing experiences I have had in my life, and today I will do anything necessary to keep hold of my serenity.
Happy hump day all - golfed this morning and off to lessons in a while. Hope the sun is shining where you are and your day is grand!!!