Today's reading discusses how many of us tend to look for answers by over-analyzing with often black/white thinking. Many of us, when new to Al-Anon, were asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism. Many of us again sought to read, study, analyze all that we could on the subject. We then began to analyze everything! Questions raised in the reading include: Was Al-Anon a philosophy or a philosophical system? What would be the logical outcome of believing in a Power greater than self? When was the alcoholic going to have a spiritual awakening?
What we learn as we grow in recovery is these questions keep the mind busy, but don't help us get better. With time and effort in the program, we come to understand more about how it works, we stop analyzing and explaining everything and start living by the principles in everyday situations. We start to change as the program makes sense to us.
Reminder --- Does analyzing my situation provide any useful insights, or is it an attempt to control the uncontrollable? Am I taking inventory or avoiding work that needs to be done by keeping my mind occupied? I have heard that knowledge is power. But sometimes my thirst for knowledge can be an attempt to exercise power where I am powerless. Instead, I can take the First Step.
Quote by Soren Kierkegaard --- "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I arrived, I had inside knowledge about this disease through personal experience. This did NOT keep me from being affected with distorted thinking, fairy-tale expectations and/or my own level of insanity. I came placing blame for what was going on outside of my self onto my loved ones. I even knew this was a disease as defined by the AMA, but that didn't stop my mind from throwing blame/shame towards others, always wondering why one would choose to drink/keep drinking in spite of the consequences.
I had no issue believing in a HP for myself and my own recovery. I had huge denial and issues believing in a HP for my loved ones. I believed that my job as a wife, mother, daughter, etc. was to 'help' others. My distorted view of 'help' was actually nothing short of an attempt to control/change them. When others did not meet my expectations or change in the way I wanted them to, I dismissed them and/or put them out of my life.
With time and practice, I finally embraced the disease concept and my powerlessness over other people, places and things. For me, understanding this is a disease vs. a choice helped me forgive, let go, let God and have empathy. Instead of anger, embarrassment, shame or other in myself and cast towards others, I can simply be empathetic and offer service, which at times is nothing more than prayers of God's will for those affected.
I accept and embrace that I am an imperfect person with no magic power to change another. I do believe HP wants all of us to be happy, healthy, hole and free from the bondage of self. I have hope that the Master Plan not disclosed to me will unfold as it's supposed to and trusting in the program and process serve me well one day at a time.
I am grateful today that I have no desire to control others or analyze every situation to the nth degree. I can instead look for my part, change my journey with action and embrace life on life's terms. I can accept and love and show courtesy and respect for all persons as we each have our issues/baggage. I have genuine empathy and concern for all and no need/want to cure others. I literally love my life and still believe the best is yet to come! What a gift!
Happy Thursday all...we are golfing later today as it's cold this morning. I've got little people later and a pizza party to attend. Make it a great day!
Skorpi said
Oct 11, 2018
Thank you for this topic, IAH!
This idea about balancing analysis and action is an important one for me. My training is in analysis and research, and my work is mostly analysis and strategy, with some research. So, my default is to analyse things, create a strategy, and follow a plan. This works really well for me personally, but not so well with alcoholics and others in my life. For some reason, they don't like my plans
I can get caught up in inaction because I have the tendency of not doing something when I am unsure, spending some more time with research and analysis, but this can lead to a lot of negativity in my life. Sometimes, I find it is better to live according to the principles and take some action to better my situation, even when I am unsure. This year, I am really working on finding a balance between living according to the principles and not taking action when I am unsure. I tend to swing to one extreme or the other. I am not sure, so I am not going to do anything about this - or, I am going to make positive change in my life. I believe there is grace in the balance of those two extremes - located somewhere in the middle. I realize that before I found Al-Anon, I was all action all the time. Once I started Al-Anon, I took the "if you aren't sure, don't" to an unhealthy extreme and didn't do a lot of things because I wasn't sure how they would turn out. (I think this is important for me. It isn't that I wasn't sure if they were good or bad for me, but I was unsure of how they would turn out, so I waited.)
Thanks to my work in the program these past years, I have seen a lot of incremental change, and I honestly didn't think I'd get to where I am. I am looking forward to finding more balance in my life so that I really can live according to the principles by taking more action
hotrod said
Oct 11, 2018
Good Morning IAH love this reminder Prior to working the program I loved to spend time analyzing a situation as it kept me from acting. Program suggested that I look within , pray about a situation ask for guidance and then take action "Actions not words became my new motto. Love the quote that suggests that "Life must be lived going forward but understood in retrospect. Have a great day and thanks for your continued service.
Pol said
Oct 11, 2018
Hi everyone :)
This morning's reading spoke to me a lot. I tend to go overboard with everything and here recently I limited myself to the basics in my recovery(that isn't to say what I was reading was really informational) its that I needed to pace myself. I was definitely getting overloaded and that is never good. To much-to soon will just bring on burn out. I'm learning to take it easy and handle little by little.
TTT:
Things
Take
Time
I hope you all have a good day! and thanks for your posts OP! :D
Lyne said
Oct 11, 2018
Thank you IAH and all above shares. I came to alanon wanting a quick fix for my A so life would be fine. I learned there is no quick fix, but steps, slogans, etc. At first they just all seemed like words to me, but I couldn't deny the atmosphere in my F2F meeting. Sometimes people might be crying or very anxious, but in every meeting there was always one or more people who seemed content, strong, and/or serene. So I had a choice to try practicing steps, slogans, meetings, working with a sponsor, etc., or I could walk away. I never walked away and find in every meeting, every time I look at the board, there is some wisdom from others that keep me practicing and striving to be better, Lyne
JerryF said
Oct 11, 2018
Thank you all for this ESH. (((HUGS)))
mamalioness said
Oct 12, 2018
Oh yea, the Paralysis of analysis (said by a fellow traveler here and next door) I did that...i would literally get stuck in analysis and living in my head, not just stepping back, and like Betty said..."Program suggested that I look within" and for me, I don't pray, but I get quiet..let my inner HP give me some perspective OR just the quieting my mind, I can "clear out the garbage" and maybe get some ideas as to what to do......"actions not words" I so agree, Betty....ACTION is what does it for me...words don't mean so much...action does.......and yea, love that quote about life being lived going forward, but understood in retrospect..........
Today's reading discusses how many of us tend to look for answers by over-analyzing with often black/white thinking. Many of us, when new to Al-Anon, were asked to learn about the disease of alcoholism. Many of us again sought to read, study, analyze all that we could on the subject. We then began to analyze everything! Questions raised in the reading include: Was Al-Anon a philosophy or a philosophical system? What would be the logical outcome of believing in a Power greater than self? When was the alcoholic going to have a spiritual awakening?
What we learn as we grow in recovery is these questions keep the mind busy, but don't help us get better. With time and effort in the program, we come to understand more about how it works, we stop analyzing and explaining everything and start living by the principles in everyday situations. We start to change as the program makes sense to us.
Reminder --- Does analyzing my situation provide any useful insights, or is it an attempt to control the uncontrollable? Am I taking inventory or avoiding work that needs to be done by keeping my mind occupied? I have heard that knowledge is power. But sometimes my thirst for knowledge can be an attempt to exercise power where I am powerless. Instead, I can take the First Step.
Quote by Soren Kierkegaard --- "Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I arrived, I had inside knowledge about this disease through personal experience. This did NOT keep me from being affected with distorted thinking, fairy-tale expectations and/or my own level of insanity. I came placing blame for what was going on outside of my self onto my loved ones. I even knew this was a disease as defined by the AMA, but that didn't stop my mind from throwing blame/shame towards others, always wondering why one would choose to drink/keep drinking in spite of the consequences.
I had no issue believing in a HP for myself and my own recovery. I had huge denial and issues believing in a HP for my loved ones. I believed that my job as a wife, mother, daughter, etc. was to 'help' others. My distorted view of 'help' was actually nothing short of an attempt to control/change them. When others did not meet my expectations or change in the way I wanted them to, I dismissed them and/or put them out of my life.
With time and practice, I finally embraced the disease concept and my powerlessness over other people, places and things. For me, understanding this is a disease vs. a choice helped me forgive, let go, let God and have empathy. Instead of anger, embarrassment, shame or other in myself and cast towards others, I can simply be empathetic and offer service, which at times is nothing more than prayers of God's will for those affected.
I accept and embrace that I am an imperfect person with no magic power to change another. I do believe HP wants all of us to be happy, healthy, hole and free from the bondage of self. I have hope that the Master Plan not disclosed to me will unfold as it's supposed to and trusting in the program and process serve me well one day at a time.
I am grateful today that I have no desire to control others or analyze every situation to the nth degree. I can instead look for my part, change my journey with action and embrace life on life's terms. I can accept and love and show courtesy and respect for all persons as we each have our issues/baggage. I have genuine empathy and concern for all and no need/want to cure others. I literally love my life and still believe the best is yet to come! What a gift!
Happy Thursday all...we are golfing later today as it's cold this morning. I've got little people later and a pizza party to attend. Make it a great day!
This idea about balancing analysis and action is an important one for me. My training is in analysis and research, and my work is mostly analysis and strategy, with some research. So, my default is to analyse things, create a strategy, and follow a plan. This works really well for me personally, but not so well with alcoholics and others in my life. For some reason, they don't like my plans
I can get caught up in inaction because I have the tendency of not doing something when I am unsure, spending some more time with research and analysis, but this can lead to a lot of negativity in my life. Sometimes, I find it is better to live according to the principles and take some action to better my situation, even when I am unsure. This year, I am really working on finding a balance between living according to the principles and not taking action when I am unsure. I tend to swing to one extreme or the other. I am not sure, so I am not going to do anything about this - or, I am going to make positive change in my life. I believe there is grace in the balance of those two extremes - located somewhere in the middle. I realize that before I found Al-Anon, I was all action all the time. Once I started Al-Anon, I took the "if you aren't sure, don't" to an unhealthy extreme and didn't do a lot of things because I wasn't sure how they would turn out. (I think this is important for me. It isn't that I wasn't sure if they were good or bad for me, but I was unsure of how they would turn out, so I waited.)
Thanks to my work in the program these past years, I have seen a lot of incremental change, and I honestly didn't think I'd get to where I am. I am looking forward to finding more balance in my life so that I really can live according to the principles by taking more action
Good Morning IAH love this reminder Prior to working the program I loved to spend time analyzing a situation as it kept me from acting. Program suggested that I look within , pray about a situation ask for guidance and then take action "Actions not words became my new motto.
Love the quote that suggests that "Life must be lived going forward but understood in retrospect.
Have a great day and thanks for your continued service.
This morning's reading spoke to me a lot. I tend to go overboard with everything and here recently I limited myself to the basics in my recovery(that isn't to say what I was reading was really informational) its that I needed to pace myself. I was definitely getting overloaded and that is never good. To much-to soon will just bring on burn out. I'm learning to take it easy and handle little by little.
TTT:
Things
Take
Time
I hope you all have a good day! and thanks for your posts OP! :D
Thank you all for this ESH. (((HUGS)))
Oh yea, the Paralysis of analysis (said by a fellow traveler here and next door) I did that...i would literally get stuck in analysis and living in my head, not just stepping back, and like Betty said..."Program suggested that I look within" and for me, I don't pray, but I get quiet..let my inner HP give me some perspective OR just the quieting my mind, I can "clear out the garbage" and maybe get some ideas as to what to do......"actions not words" I so agree, Betty....ACTION is what does it for me...words don't mean so much...action does.......and yea, love that quote about life being lived going forward, but understood in retrospect..........