It's been a painful year. Painful in the ego sense I guess and my little people have had to endure a really tired mother. I feel at times really close to giving up, usually when I am confronted with huge mountains of washing, a bar of laundry soap and my two hands. I get a case of the "poor me's" and the "why me's" and that leads to blame and resentment and yeah, tired mother! I have a health issue that is preventing work at the moment and there is no schooling here for the disabled one which really sucks for him; the house is unfenced which sucks for both of us (he runs on to the road and wanders off so can never be left unsupervised, never), and yes, just generally, simple things have felt very overwhelming which is frustrating. But. I think I have it in me to start again one more time, just one more time. I hope I don't need to re-do this life lesson again though.
I didn't trust myself, I rushed and then I got stuck. So this time, I will slow down and work on myself.
hotrod said
Oct 4, 2018
((A41))) Dear Friend your courage in the face of adversity is a powerful tribute to your hard work in program. I am sorry to read of the challenges that you are facing but can feel your determination and courage shining through. I know that you will keep showing up one day at a time and that this too shall pass. I have had many difficult life experiences that were extremely painful and assure you that HP was with me and is with you every step of the way. You are not alone
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Skorpi said
Oct 4, 2018
(((A41))) I am sorry to read about all the challenges you are facing, and I am reminded by your phrase "just one more time" of the slogan "just for today". I love that you are slowing down, trusting yourself, and working at your pace. You are not alone
Iamhere said
Oct 4, 2018
(((a41))) - I too am sorry to hear about all the challenges in your lives. I love your plan to slow down and 'start over'....although, each time I've returned to the start (Step 1 or surrendering), it doesn't seem quite as difficult as all the work to date does matter always! This is why we strive for progress and not perfection and also why we all have just this one day no matter how long we've been around.
I am sending you tons of positive energy, thoughts and prayers. You do have the courage and the drive - seen it over and over again! Keep being you and doing your program - trust the program, self, HP and self - you got this!!
SerenityRUS said
Oct 4, 2018
Hugs,
Why is it with parenting it always feels like this is the hardest stage ever and then there is a new stage?
I hope you are taking good care of yourself .. tired mama is not good for anyone.
Every time I come to a cross road something opens up either a new healing, new growth something I was unaware of before.
Keep taking things as they come, it really does have a way of working out. Sometimes an adult sized tantrum helps .. lol .. at least I can figure out what is really going on with me.
Keep coming back .. hugs :)
JerryF said
Oct 4, 2018
Gracious A4l that reminds me of when I truly felt between a rock and a hard place and needed to stop everything myself. I didn't know what to do and didn't have the strength to do much anyway. I found the pamphlet "Just For Today" and I knew that HP was standing with me when I started to read it. "Just for today I will live thru this day only"...it started and I knew I was being listened to. See if you can find it in Al-Anon literature or in your meeting and let us know how things continue to go.
I also am sending love and concern your way. ((((hugs))))
PosiesandPuppies said
Oct 5, 2018
Sending you support ((((((A4))))))!
a4l said
Oct 5, 2018
Thanks heaps you guys! Ladies included in that term of course Just every now and then my thoughts start to spiral down. I've decided to treat it as an opportunity to get to know myself. I was feeling really down in the dumps. Then, I started to "plan". This always always cheers me up, but I never realised it until now that this is what I do as a coping mechanism. It gets me into worlds of trouble when I don't really trust myself. Over the last five years, I have made lots of discoveries in recovery. In a nutshell, I am going to work on me, by giving me something to place trust in. I need to prove to myself that I can be trusted with my own self care instead of outsourcing it to other people, places and things. There is no rush. It will be ok. I don't need a rescuer or a magic solution. I could definitely use a washing machine...but I am going to accept that I am where my HP wants me to be and I have not been bought this far to be dropped on my head.
hotrod said
Oct 5, 2018
((Edna)) I agree "outsourcing" our self care to another is a dangerous action unless we "outsource" is to HP
It's been a painful year. Painful in the ego sense I guess and my little people have had to endure a really tired mother. I feel at times really close to giving up, usually when I am confronted with huge mountains of washing, a bar of laundry soap and my two hands. I get a case of the "poor me's" and the "why me's" and that leads to blame and resentment and yeah, tired mother! I have a health issue that is preventing work at the moment and there is no schooling here for the disabled one which really sucks for him; the house is unfenced which sucks for both of us (he runs on to the road and wanders off so can never be left unsupervised, never), and yes, just generally, simple things have felt very overwhelming which is frustrating. But. I think I have it in me to start again one more time, just one more time. I hope I don't need to re-do this life lesson again though.
I didn't trust myself, I rushed and then I got stuck. So this time, I will slow down and work on myself.
((A41))) Dear Friend your courage in the face of adversity is a powerful tribute to your hard work in program. I am sorry to read of the challenges that you are facing but can feel your determination and courage shining through. I know that you will keep showing up one day at a time and that this too shall pass.
I have had many difficult life experiences that were extremely painful and assure you that HP was with me and is with you every step of the way.
You are not alone
--
--
I am sending you tons of positive energy, thoughts and prayers. You do have the courage and the drive - seen it over and over again! Keep being you and doing your program - trust the program, self, HP and self - you got this!!
Why is it with parenting it always feels like this is the hardest stage ever and then there is a new stage?
I hope you are taking good care of yourself .. tired mama is not good for anyone.
Every time I come to a cross road something opens up either a new healing, new growth something I was unaware of before.
Keep taking things as they come, it really does have a way of working out. Sometimes an adult sized tantrum helps .. lol .. at least I can figure out what is really going on with me.
Keep coming back .. hugs :)
Gracious A4l that reminds me of when I truly felt between a rock and a hard place and needed to stop everything myself. I didn't know what to do and didn't have the strength to do much anyway. I found the pamphlet "Just For Today" and I knew that HP was standing with me when I started to read it. "Just for today I will live thru this day only"...it started and I knew I was being listened to. See if you can find it in Al-Anon literature or in your meeting and let us know how things continue to go.
I also am sending love and concern your way. ((((hugs))))
((Edna)) I agree "outsourcing" our self care to another is a dangerous action unless we "outsource" is to HP
Prayers continue