The ODAT reading for Sept 25 speaks about. Al-Anon being the road to" personal freedom".
The discussion goes on to explain that there are many difficult family situations in which we are involved so we must realize that the most important word in the above statement is"personal".. This personal freedom means that we can free ourselves from many issues and suggests that in Al-Anon we learn to treat others with courtesy and respect and set them free to control their actions and destinies
Personal freedom is ours of the taking. No matter how close the ties of love and concern that bind us. We must always remember that we are individuals free to be ourselves and own our lives, serenity and joy
The Last thought that we are left with suggests that when we know we are free within myself, we are better able to give loving thought to others.. Have a great day
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Iamhere said
Sep 25, 2018
Good morning Betty - thank you for your service and the daily. I am a witness to the miracle of recovery and freedom that comes from working it. I am amazed and extremely grateful each day that I have a HP who leads and guides me to just be me. I was so anxious, lost, broken and sad when I arrived to Al-Anon, and that 'me' has been replaced by a confident, kind, loving, helpful person - one day at a time.
I have no doubt who owns my destiny - my HP and I do. I have no need to blame the disease or the diseased for my emotions, angers, actions, etc. I am able to make mistakes and own them freely and believe now growth comes from the difficult times. I have always loved HOPE - Hold On, Pain Ends and this has been my personal experience.
We have another lovely day here - great temperatures and cool. We are golfing later today so I'm catching up around the home. We have done our morning walk and are preparing for the little people visits on Wednesday and Friday. Make it a great day!!
mamalioness said
Sep 25, 2018
Hey Betty. Nice share. Setting them free to choose their own destiny
I caught myself trying to make my oldest daughter feel bad and respond to my emails and I, last month wrote to her and made amends about that and told her that even though I did not agree with it, like it, feel good about it, she had the right to X me out of her life If she wanted to and I have the right to detach and move on with my life. It was a very love Filled email but it was very Cleer about she is an adult now, free to make her choices, free to choose her destiny as you say above, and I am also free to take good care of me and part of taking care of me is not going where I am not wanted. I told her that I would carry-on and focus on myself and my recovery with the goal being to not to lose my serenity but to be at peace and to be OK within myself. Essentially, I was letting her go in peace and love but definitely letting her go. She is not the same girl who loved me and wanted hugs all the time before the drugs. The long term use of chemicals has changed her and I have finally come to except that this is what it is. My little foster daughter works her program and loves me and wants me in her life and I am going to be grateful for what I have and not complain about what I do not have and let it affect my serenity. So I did set her free in my mind this past Weekend to do what she has to do, learn the lessons that she has to learn, It hurts but I must let her go. And I have. I have grieved over her for 30 years and I am done. Time for me to set her free and to set me free to make our choices and make our lives. Im grateful she is sober I can say thank you for that, but as it stands right now, she wants nothing to do with me and I think what hurts so bad is that I dont know what I did, like do I owe her an amends? Did I do something to hurt her?. I am done asking because I have asked more than I needed to, its time for me to drop it. I tried to work step nine with her and she wont even reply to my emails or my texts or phone calls. Ive racked my brain long enough trying to figure out what I may have done to make her, this time, kick me to the curb. I guess Im posting about it again because I am in the grieving process but this is going to stop. I am going to stop it by letting go
Thank you for letting me share. And thank you for your service
PosiesandPuppies said
Sep 25, 2018
Thank you for this timely ODAT reading! I appreciate everyone's shares, as I learn with each one.
I was working through Step 6 of the Step board last night, so this today is appropriate for me today.
"This personal freedom means that we can free ourselves from many issues and suggests that in Al-Anon we learn to treat others with courtesy and respect and set them free to control their actions and destinies."
I can honestly say that my norm is to treat others with respect. But, that need for me to "help" which is really just a form of controlling the situation... that is not respect. That does not allow the above quote to happen. I am working each day with learning how to embrace setting them free to control their actions and destinies. It is easier with my Wasband, as he is now my EX... but it is a daily struggle with my kid. And even now when my Wasband and I talk, there are times I mentally catch myself before I say. "You know, you should do this, or you can try that." LOL!
Just wanted to add (((((Rose))))), that situation sounds so unfair and tough to handle, but you are doing it in a oh, so healthy way!
Peace
Lyne said
Sep 25, 2018
Thanks Betty and all who shared above. It's so interesting to me that there is a reading on personal freedom. One day, after a couple years in program, I came across a huge sticker that said "FREEDOM." It hit me like a brick, that I can be free from the sick, codependency I have with my A. That is, I can be happy , calm, and enjoy life, even though she is not. I took that sticker and stuck it where I see it everyday. When I think of the concept of freedom, I think of Alanon . And may I add, progress not perfection, Lyne :)
JerryF said
Sep 25, 2018
Mahalo Betty for the lovely perception and reminder of "personal freedom" that my former sponsor taught me. He learned that I listen metaphorically...in pictures which was how I was raised in Hawaii. I still see in pictures and when I was having trouble "letting go and letting God with my alcoholic/addict" he told me to visualize holding my arms out in front of me palms up and lifting my alcoholic/addict up above my head giving her to HP. I was to visualize bringing my arms back down empty handed showing me that HP had taken her. The result was stunning and overwhelming and I found my self saying out loud, "Free at last, free at last...thank God I'm free at last". from Martin Luther Kings experience. It worked completely and I still visualize like that when ever I need to repeat the lesson. (((((hugs)))))
mamalioness said
Sep 25, 2018
WOW!!! Jerry, I am a "visual" person, too and I just loved your visualization of you holding your arms out in front w/palms up.....I don't think in terms of a geographical place where HP is, I think in terms of it being within and the universe, source of all things good, as up/down/sideways, etc., like "out there" somewhere and everywhere at the same time, so when I do a surrender thingy, I visualize a huge blue/white flower or a pink bubble and I put my "issues" in the center of the flower (lotus, maybe) and i watch the flower "embrace and absorb" the issue or the pink bubble just enfolding it and floating away.....I know this sounds kinda crazy, but this is what I see when I am "giving something/someone" over and out of my control which isn't working....I have this video of my "flower" that I described...it is a " blue/white" kinda thing, turning clockwise, slowly and its like out in the universe....VERY similar to the visuals that I already was doing on my own...anyway, some kind person shared it on YT and I fell in love with this vid...I can watch it and literally send my troubles away, watching them be embraced by this loving, powerful flower surrounded by stars and a night sky and I get mesmorized (sp) watching it....
The ODAT reading for Sept 25 speaks about. Al-Anon being the road to" personal freedom".
--
I have no doubt who owns my destiny - my HP and I do. I have no need to blame the disease or the diseased for my emotions, angers, actions, etc. I am able to make mistakes and own them freely and believe now growth comes from the difficult times. I have always loved HOPE - Hold On, Pain Ends and this has been my personal experience.
We have another lovely day here - great temperatures and cool. We are golfing later today so I'm catching up around the home. We have done our morning walk and are preparing for the little people visits on Wednesday and Friday. Make it a great day!!
I caught myself trying to make my oldest daughter feel bad and respond to my emails and I, last month wrote to her and made amends about that and told her that even though I did not agree with it, like it, feel good about it, she had the right to X me out of her life If she wanted to and I have the right to detach and move on with my life. It was a very love Filled email but it was very Cleer about she is an adult now, free to make her choices, free to choose her destiny as you say above, and I am also free to take good care of me and part of taking care of me is not going where I am not wanted. I told her that I would carry-on and focus on myself and my recovery with the goal being to not to lose my serenity but to be at peace and to be OK within myself. Essentially, I was letting her go in peace and love but definitely letting her go. She is not the same girl who loved me and wanted hugs all the time before the drugs. The long term use of chemicals has changed her and I have finally come to except that this is what it is. My little foster daughter works her program and loves me and wants me in her life and I am going to be grateful for what I have and not complain about what I do not have and let it affect my serenity. So I did set her free in my mind this past Weekend to do what she has to do, learn the lessons that she has to learn, It hurts but I must let her go. And I have. I have grieved over her for 30 years and I am done. Time for me to set her free and to set me free to make our choices and make our lives. Im grateful she is sober I can say thank you for that, but as it stands right now, she wants nothing to do with me and I think what hurts so bad is that I dont know what I did, like do I owe her an amends? Did I do something to hurt her?. I am done asking because I have asked more than I needed to, its time for me to drop it. I tried to work step nine with her and she wont even reply to my emails or my texts or phone calls. Ive racked my brain long enough trying to figure out what I may have done to make her, this time, kick me to the curb. I guess Im posting about it again because I am in the grieving process but this is going to stop. I am going to stop it by letting go
Thank you for letting me share. And thank you for your service
Thank you for this timely ODAT reading!
I appreciate everyone's shares, as I learn with each one.
I was working through Step 6 of the Step board last night, so this today is appropriate for me today.
"This personal freedom means that we can free ourselves from many issues and suggests that in Al-Anon we learn to treat others with courtesy and respect and set them free to control their actions and destinies."
I can honestly say that my norm is to treat others with respect. But, that need for me to "help" which is really just a form of controlling the situation... that is not respect. That does not allow the above quote to happen. I am working each day with learning how to embrace setting them free to control their actions and destinies. It is easier with my Wasband, as he is now my EX... but it is a daily struggle with my kid. And even now when my Wasband and I talk, there are times I mentally catch myself before I say. "You know, you should do this, or you can try that." LOL!
Just wanted to add (((((Rose))))), that situation sounds so unfair and tough to handle, but you are doing it in a oh, so healthy way!
Peace
Mahalo Betty for the lovely perception and reminder of "personal freedom" that my former sponsor taught me. He learned that I listen metaphorically...in pictures which was how I was raised in Hawaii. I still see in pictures and when I was having trouble "letting go and letting God with my alcoholic/addict" he told me to visualize holding my arms out in front of me palms up and lifting my alcoholic/addict up above my head giving her to HP. I was to visualize bringing my arms back down empty handed showing me that HP had taken her. The result was stunning and overwhelming and I found my self saying out loud, "Free at last, free at last...thank God I'm free at last". from Martin Luther Kings experience. It worked completely and I still visualize like that when ever I need to repeat the lesson. (((((hugs)))))