The ODAT reading for Sept 11 ( a difficult day for me as I worked at the WTC), speaks of being fully aware of what we do and say in our interactions with the alcoholic The reading also suggests that we tone down our use of sarcasm , lower our voice and remember that we hurt ourselves more with our anger than anyone else..
We may confide with friends, but believe they do not fully understand. The reading suggests that we lift our thoughts to higher things and not isolate ourselves in our problems.
The quote from Proverbs is extremely powerful:"A soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger.
Have a great day
Skorpi said
Sep 11, 2018
Good morning, MIP! Betty, thank you for your service!
I like the reminder of being careful with words and actions when interacting with the alcoholic. I've found that if I am not fully aware and careful of my words AND my actions (including body language and facial expression), the alcoholics in my life, whether they are active or in recovery, can misinterpret or read things into what I say and do. It's helped me a lot to ask myself first, what do I want the received message to be? And then to make sure that is the message I am delivering.
Betty, I'm sorry today is a difficult one for you. (((hugs)))
Jill said
Sep 11, 2018
oh Betty, extra love to you on this difficult day!
Iamhere said
Sep 11, 2018
(((Betty))) - sending prayers for a peaceful journey today. Thank you for your service and for all the ESH above me. I have always had a quick temper and prior to recovery, could be 'quite the screamer'. Sarcasm is also alive and well within my old tool box.
Al-Anon is a blueprint for a different way to be, and with all the tools we have, I am a work in progress. I am way better than I used to be and no longer live in the problems/issues of the day. I instead put them into HP hands and try to find the good. I am grateful for the opportunity given to me each day to be better, do better and live better.
Take good care of you today!
DavidG said
Sep 11, 2018
(((((((((((((((((((Betty)))))))))))))))))
I have heard your remarkable testimony.
Even into adulthood i had this deep anger, sarcasm, cynicism that bore no relation to the present circumstances...
and today i see it in people I am close to... beneath the social veneer...
Alanon is a safe place to vent and to adult... I think is is easier to come to this slowly... letting down the guard, day by day...
It can come suddenly- in the form of tears, anger, or anything in between! I think that being afraid of these feelings is a denial of life itself!
As our groups become stronger we are able to take these things in our stride!
Thanks for your service- a friend to many- much appreciated Betty... ...
bud said
Sep 11, 2018
Thank you for your service Betty! Not only did it help for me to soften my anger, but I continue to work on softening as it usually has much better outcomes for all involved. I'm grateful for the reminder that being soft doesn't mean being a push-over... and there's a better delivery of the message.
mamalioness said
Sep 15, 2018
((((((Betty)))))) sending you positive energy and big thank you for this post....as my anger?? its mostly now at me and frustration with me and bad progress in sme things re: the program..Like walls i just can't get down or around or over, etc......my anger at others has greately improved...Yea, I can get angry, which in balance is , to me, a healthy emotion, its WHAT I DO WITH IT that counts..like that rude lady at the pharmacie...Yea, I got angry, but breeeethed and paused and "formed my boundary" BEFORE I went to work....and I did it great...wish I could soften my treatment of me when I can't stay centered, mindful, racing thoughts causing me to rush when i don't have to.............its ME i have to soften up on.....I see sloooooow progress and I mean sloooooooow, but what the hey??? Its still moving forward, not backward
I like the reminder of being careful with words and actions when interacting with the alcoholic. I've found that if I am not fully aware and careful of my words AND my actions (including body language and facial expression), the alcoholics in my life, whether they are active or in recovery, can misinterpret or read things into what I say and do. It's helped me a lot to ask myself first, what do I want the received message to be? And then to make sure that is the message I am delivering.
Betty, I'm sorry today is a difficult one for you. (((hugs)))
Al-Anon is a blueprint for a different way to be, and with all the tools we have, I am a work in progress. I am way better than I used to be and no longer live in the problems/issues of the day. I instead put them into HP hands and try to find the good. I am grateful for the opportunity given to me each day to be better, do better and live better.
Take good care of you today!
(((((((((((((((((((Betty)))))))))))))))))
I have heard your remarkable testimony.
Even into adulthood i had this deep anger, sarcasm, cynicism that bore no relation to the present circumstances...
and today i see it in people I am close to... beneath the social veneer...
Alanon is a safe place to vent and to adult... I think is is easier to come to this slowly... letting down the guard, day by day...
It can come suddenly- in the form of tears, anger, or anything in between! I think that being afraid of these feelings is a denial of life itself!
As our groups become stronger we are able to take these things in our stride!
Thanks for your service- a friend to many- much appreciated Betty...
...