It's like a poison in a family. The father is only happy when he's drunk but it's a false short lived happiness that can turn sour without warning. The mother is downtrodden because she knows this situation is poison but she thinks there's a solution and it will get better when he stops drinking. The children. This drunk man is still the role model so the sons are watching intently and learning this model of a man. They take it in like sponges and they learn that men get drunk are happy but mostly men are not happy. They are critical harsh miserable angry agressive. Then years later the mother is now a gradmother and she sees how well her son learned to be that man. Almost a perfect carbon copy. Oh it just passes down the line like eye or hair colour.
JerryF said
Sep 3, 2018
Been there and done that; that way also El Cee and then for me it changed when I changed my family...I left my family of origin and got adopted by the AFG. Thank you God I listened and learned and practiced how they chose to live. Yes the disease is miserable and recovery is so much more better. ((((El Cee))))
bud said
Sep 3, 2018
(((el-cee))) The disease does poison everything it touches. Like Jerry, I'm grateful for the program family. Sending warm wishes for comfort and serenity.
PosiesandPuppies said
Sep 3, 2018
Oh, el-cee! You are so spot on with this!!
Looking back, if I knew then what I know now, I would've divorced my spouse back when he went to rehab for meth. Instead I chose to take him back (after rehab and working a program - that was short-lived btw) not because I wanted him, but because I thought it was best for my then 10 year-old boy to have a father in the house. How wrong I was! I am still holding onto guilt about that... trying my best to make amends to my son. He says they are not needed, but I still see some of the damage that was done (even after therapy for my son). Addiction is a terrible, terrible disease of the mind. It can be arrested, but it is never cured... too many brain cells/chemistry have been changed.
Wishing you Peace today (((((el-cee)))).
SerenityRUS said
Sep 3, 2018
Hugs EC,
There's no crystal ball to know the right choice .. it truly is a dreadful disease and the only way through it is to break the chains that bind it.
Wishing you a peaceful day today as well.
Hugs S :)
Iamhere said
Sep 3, 2018
Honest share and vivid photo of how this disease is a family disease. I too have BTDT. What I am grateful today is our program tells us to lead by example. Knowing I have no power to change anyone else gives me the freedom to just be me, let them be them and pray for the 'best next right thing'.
Sending tons of (((hugs))) to all my friends in recovery @ MIP (my family too)!
mamalioness said
Sep 3, 2018
WOW!!!! el-cee....what a horrid and OH SO TRUE picture....from generation to generation it passes its ugliness and despair down to the next and next generations.....I'm glad we are all here...Perhaps the buck can stop or at least be exposed and slow down with all of us.......thank you for sharing this....stark....real.....needs to be read
hotrod said
Sep 3, 2018
((LC)) I have been there and so understand
a4l said
Sep 3, 2018
This was sad dear friend. There are so many factors; society as well, attitudes to drink, what is the so called "norm", the minimising and blanket collective species denial of what is literally ingested poison. We are a strange breed of life, humans. Take care. We do our best.
ginnyc said
Sep 4, 2018
what a powerful reminder. Unless you have been there I don't think you would understand. The family is so affected by it- the denial, abuse, low self esteem, its dreadful!
Been there and done that; that way also El Cee and then for me it changed when I changed my family...I left my family of origin and got adopted by the AFG. Thank you God I listened and learned and practiced how they chose to live. Yes the disease is miserable and recovery is so much more better. ((((El Cee))))
Oh, el-cee! You are so spot on with this!!
Looking back, if I knew then what I know now, I would've divorced my spouse back when he went to rehab for meth. Instead I chose to take him back (after rehab and working a program - that was short-lived btw) not because I wanted him, but because I thought it was best for my then 10 year-old boy to have a father in the house.
How wrong I was!
I am still holding onto guilt about that... trying my best to make amends to my son. He says they are not needed, but I still see some of the damage that was done (even after therapy for my son).
Addiction is a terrible, terrible disease of the mind. It can be arrested, but it is never cured... too many brain cells/chemistry have been changed.
Wishing you Peace today (((((el-cee)))).
There's no crystal ball to know the right choice .. it truly is a dreadful disease and the only way through it is to break the chains that bind it.
Wishing you a peaceful day today as well.
Hugs S :)
Sending tons of (((hugs))) to all my friends in recovery @ MIP (my family too)!
WOW!!!! el-cee....what a horrid and OH SO TRUE picture....from generation to generation it passes its ugliness and despair down to the next and next generations.....I'm glad we are all here...Perhaps the buck can stop or at least be exposed and slow down with all of us.......thank you for sharing this....stark....real.....needs to be read
This was sad dear friend. There are so many factors; society as well, attitudes to drink, what is the so called "norm", the minimising and blanket collective species denial of what is literally ingested poison. We are a strange breed of life, humans. Take care. We do our best.